


Big Blue

by LilyThistle



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:01:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 83,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24234721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyThistle/pseuds/LilyThistle
Summary: Lisbon could feel her headache returning, a dull, throbbing pain right above her left eye. “I know this might sound crazy to you, but what you’re asking of me is a lot more than regular work.”“It’s a lot easier than regular work,” Jane contradicted her. “People already think we’re dating anyway.”*Jane and Lisbon pretend to be a couple to catch a group of diamond thieves. The only problem? Lisbon already has a boyfriend - Marcus Pike.
Relationships: Patrick Jane/Teresa Lisbon, Teresa Lisbon/Marcus Pike
Comments: 140
Kudos: 199





	1. Rose-Gold Bracelet

**Author's Note:**

> I know I should finish "Red Road" first, but this fanfic keeps me up at night, so I just had to get it out there. I wanted to write something less angsty and more light-hearted, but I'm still gonna update "Red Road" once a week. 
> 
> I had the idea when I started my rewatch of season 6, and once I reached "Violets", I had to discover that they had actually already made an episode where Jane and Lisbon pretend to be a couple (which I had completely forgotten, but in my defense I watched the show once five years ago). In this story, "Violets" didn't happen or at least not like it did in the show, but it's obviously set prior to "Blue Bird". Most of the story takes place in Florida for the sole reason that it's the only place in the US I've been to and I miss it.
> 
> Update (01/23/21): This fic is technically unfinished, but the most important conflict in this story is resolved, that's why it's marked as finished. I cannot see myself finishing it at this point in time, but I wanted to give you all some closure.

“More wine, honey?”

Lisbon flinched. “Sorry?”

Pike held up the bottle of wine and shrugged.

“Yeah, sure,” Lisbon agreed, handing him her glass.

“You okay?” Pike wanted to know while he refilled it.

Lisbon nodded. “Yes, I’m sorry,” she said, stifling a yawn. “Long day at work.”

“We could have had dinner tomorrow,” Pike pointed out. It didn’t sound accusing, but Lisbon felt as if she had disappointed him.

She was sitting on Pike’s couch, the refilled glass of wine in one hand, her phone in the other. Pike was sitting next to her, watching her worriedly. They had just closed a case this afternoon, and she was happy and relieved everything had worked out in the end, but she was also exhausted and would have loved to curl up on her own couch, put on the TV, and fall asleep. Her head was still buzzing from the adrenaline that came from running after an armed criminal, and she knew there would be a lot of paperwork to complete in the morning, which she hated. Pike had offered to cook dinner for her, and she had happily agreed, but now she was here, she slightly regretted it. She had seen it as an excuse to get out of after-case-drinks with the others, but she was beginning to doubt whether she had made the right choice. She had the feeling Pike was expecting her to behave a certain way, more loving, more responsive to his efforts at romance, and she felt unable to.

“No, you have my full attention,” Lisbon assured Pike, stifling another yawn.

“Tell you what,” Pike said. “You close your eyes for 15 minutes while I finish dinner and I’ll wake you once it’s ready.”

“Thanks,” Lisbon said, pressing a soft kiss to Pike’s cheek.

Pike stood up from the couch and left, and Lisbon put down her glass of wine and stretched out, her head against one of Pike’s embroidered pillows. She closed her eyes while she listened to the sounds coming from the kitchen: running water, onions and garlic frying in a pan, Pike humming to himself under his breath. Maybe it hadn’t been such a bad choice to see Pike after all. If she had agreed to go with the others, she would be sitting in some dingy bar right now, trying to have a conversation with Cho, and Jane would beat a stranger at darts or pool while making cocky comments. Because she had chosen Pike, she was able to relax for a bit, even get some sleep, and then he would serve her a nice dinner without expecting witty banter in return.

Lisbon felt herself drift off into an uneasy sleep, her mind swimming with images of the case and Pike and the man she had arrested earlier. It had been a fun case, considering it was a double homicide, and they had been on the verge of solving it without any collateral damage, until the bad guy had decided to run, resulting in a chase during which Lisbon had almost crashed her car. She sat up with a jolt, suddenly wide awake. Because she was so tired, she had forgotten to file the insurance claim to get the dent on the car fixed. She needed to remember to do that in the morning or she would have to pay for it herself. Her phone was right next to her on the couch and it would take about 30 seconds to write herself a note with an alarm so she wouldn’t forget. But while she picked up the phone, she remembered Jane’s memory palace trick and decided to try it his way, just to see if it actually worked.

While she was still deciding what location to use, she heard Pike’s voice calling to her from the kitchen. “Honey, are you up? Dinner’s ready.”

“Coming,” Lisbon called back.

She stood and picked up her glass, but left her phone on the couch, so it wouldn’t interrupt their dinner. Pike didn’t like it when she looked at her phone, even though she had tried to tell him multiple times she needed to pick up when work called. This had resulted in them having a fight during which Pike had accused her of seeing work as more important than their relationship and Lisbon had told him he didn’t understand how vital the work she was doing was; after all, they were catching murderers and not art thieves. In the end, they had both apologized, and Lisbon had agreed to leave her phone in her bag or in another room whenever they were having dinner together, and Pike had agreed not to put any pressure on her whenever she cancelled a date because of work. She liked how mature this relationship was – they could talk about the things that bothered them, and then they worked together to resolve the issue.

Pike had set the wooden dinner table in his kitchen with a tablecloth, a pair of candles and even actual napkins. The light in the room was dimmed, except for a bright one above the countertop. It looked very romantic. Lisbon couldn’t help but feel flattered as he pulled out a chair for her. 

“It looks lovely,” she said. The air smelled of mushrooms and herbs and sizzling garlic. “And it smells lovely.”

Pike smiled at her. “I pulled out all the stops for such a special occasion, of course.”

Lisbon swallowed. She had the feeling she had forgotten something, but even though Pike had dropped several hints like this throughout the evening, she couldn’t say what it was. Her safest bet was to continue talking about the food. “So what are we having?” she asked, a smile on her face.

“You’ll see,” Pike said, returning the smile.

He busied himself with plates and pots while Lisbon tried to remember what was so special about this evening, until she decided it was just something Pike had said because he was romantic like that. Every date with Lisbon was special for him. And she was scared because she didn’t feel the same way. She enjoyed the time they spent together, of course, or she would just stop seeing him, but she also knew he was falling in love with her fast, and she found herself unable to reciprocate these feelings, no matter how much she wanted to. It was her fault, she knew that much – she had always known there was something wrong with her because Pike wasn’t the first man in her life who felt more for her than she could for him. But him being the perfect boyfriend made this worse, and it made her wonder if maybe she just wasn’t cut out to be in a loving, long-lasting relationship.

Pike put down a plate in front of her. He had cooked steak with a side of small tartlets filled with mushrooms. Then he sat down opposite Lisbon and looked at her expectantly. She cut into the steak; it was rare, done just the way she liked it. After a bite, she glanced at Pike, who still looked at her as if he was waiting for something.

“And?” he asked.

“Well, it’s great, but you already knew that,” Lisbon answered. Pike was an amazing cook, she had told him so several times, but he still insisted on her paying his cooking a compliment every time he prepared a meal for her.

“I’m never sure you’ll like it,” Pike said with a shrug, and cut into his own steak.

Maybe she had sounded a tad ungrateful. “You shouldn’t be an FBI agent, you should be a gourmet cook,” she went on, then tasted the tartlet. “I’m telling you, you picked the wrong career.”

Pike’s smile returned to his face. “You’re just saying that.”

“No, I’m serious,” Lisbon insisted. “Just take the compliment.” Again, she had sounded more flippant than she had meant to. “I mean it, this is amazing,” she added quickly, then took a sip of her wine to hide her flushed face.

“Do you want to tell me about your day?” Pike asked carefully, changing the subject. “I can see something’s bothering you.”

“It’s nothing,” Lisbon shrugged. “Just the usual.”

“But you closed the case, right? We should be celebrating.”

“Aren’t we celebrating?” Lisbon asked in a flirty tone of voice.

“Yes, but not your case,” Pike answered.

So she _had_ forgotten something. “You just don’t want me to get used to a meal like this every time I close a case,” Lisbon went on, acting as if she knew exactly what tonight was about.

“If that’s what it takes to win you over, I’ll do it gladly,” Pike replied.

“Then I’ll continue to play hard to catch if it means you’ll continue to be this romantic.” The wine and the food were finally having an effect on her and she could feel herself relax. She smiled at Pike. “Honestly, the only thing that could still top this is dessert.”

Pike winked at her. “I’m one step ahead of you there. But finish the main course first.”

“Main course,” Lisbon repeated with a giggle. “You even sound like the gourmet cook you were born to be.”

“I don’t think the gourmet cook would have a surprise for you that comes with dessert,” Pike said, watching Lisbon carefully.

“What kind of surprise?” Lisbon wanted to know.

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise,” Pike replied. “You’ll see soon enough.”

Suddenly Lisbon had to think about her birthday many years ago: Jane had guessed every single present Cho and Van Pelt and Rigsby had gotten her. The memory made her smile. And it made her wish she had Jane’s ability to read people because then she would know what kind of surprise Pike was talking about. But maybe she could figure it out in her own way.

“But it isn’t even my birthday,” she pointed out.

“I don’t think I need an excuse like that to get you a present on our four-month anniversary.”

So this was what she had forgotten. She caught herself before her face betrayed what she was thinking. “Dinner like this is the only present I need, really,” she said, her voice flirty again, because she knew it distracted Pike when she talked like this.

“It’s not the only one you deserve though,” Pike replied. He reached across the table and took her hand in his. “Four months is quite impressive for me. Since my divorce, I haven’t been with a woman this long.”

Lisbon continued to smile but didn’t say anything because she could feel there was more he wanted to say.

“You’re very special to me, Teresa,” he continued after a few quiet seconds that stretched on forever for Lisbon, “and I’m still scared almost every day that you’ll see how dull and boring I am and leave me again.”

Lisbon opened her mouth to reassure him he wasn’t boring, but he squeezed her hand, signaling he wasn’t done yet.

“You’re a good-looking woman, Teresa, you could have anyone. And I’m grateful and happy and stunned, really, that you choose to stay with me. I like to think it’s more than my cooking, but if it’s not, then I’m fine with that as well, as long as I know you’re my girlfriend.”

Lisbon could feel her hand getting sweaty under Pike’s. This confession caught her flat-footed, a simple dinner turning into something much more, and she wasn’t entirely comfortable with it.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time,” Pike continued, “and I think I’m finally ready to say it out loud and you’re finally ready to hear it.” Pike took a deep breath. “I love you, Teresa.”

Lisbon felt a flush spread to her cheeks, and it wasn’t for the reason she would have liked it to be. She had dreaded to hear these words from Pike because she wasn’t able to say it back yet, and it put her in a position she didn’t want to be in. Four months was a long time, men had told her they loved her much sooner than this in the past. Back then she had always had an excuse not to say it back, had told them they were moving too fast. But with Pike it was different. Pike wasn’t moving too fast, he had said it to her over a romantic candlelight dinner and not slurred drunkenly into her ear in the back of a cab, a hand too high up on her thigh. Still, she found herself unable to say it back, and she didn’t want to lie to him and pretend she was in love with him, because it would be unfair to him. But she also didn’t want to have a conversation about this now.

Pike sensed he had made her uncomfortable and pulled back his hand. “If you need more time to say it back, I understand,” he said, not making eye contact. “I just thought you should know how I feel about you because I really don’t see a reason to hide it.”

“Thank you,” Lisbon finally said, “for being so understanding. This is a big step for me. I care about you and I want to make this work.”

“Take all the time you need,” Pike assured her.

They finished their dinner in silence, but Lisbon could feel there was more Pike wanted to say to her. He acted as if he didn’t mind not hearing her say _I love you_ back, but she knew it hurt him, could see it in his eyes and the way he held his body. The steak and the tartlets didn’t taste as good as they had before and felt chewy in Lisbon’s mouth. She tried to wash them down with wine but choked on the liquid and had to cough loudly, followed by rasping sounds.

Pike looked at her in concern. “Is everything okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” Lisbon assured him, voice hoarse. “I think I’m ready for dessert now.”

Pike cleared away the plates while Lisbon wished she had her phone with her. A call from work was what she needed right now, even if it meant more homicides, more running around in dark alleys in the middle of the night, more trying to keep Jane out of trouble. But she would have chosen it any day over this uncomfortable dinner.

Dessert turned out to be tiramisu topped with a real honeycomb. This time, Pike didn’t insist on her paying his cooking a compliment, but she did anyway.

“If you were trying to convince me you’re not secretly a gourmet cook, you’ve failed,” she said, stopping herself from licking her plate clean.

The compliment cheered Pike up. “Maybe I am one, maybe I just pretend to be an FBI agent.”

Lisbon leaned back in her chair, content and sated, but feeling more tired than before. She yawned. “This was amazing, thank you very much,” she said.

Pike shifted in his chair and then there was suddenly a small turquoise box in his hand, topped with a white bow. It was the present he had promised her, the one Lisbon had forgotten about over the whole _I love you_ fiasco.

 _It’s too big for a ring_ , she told herself, hoping it wasn’t an engagement ring. If Pike was about to propose to her, she would get up and leave, she knew that much. And then she wouldn’t be able to fix things with Pike because he wouldn’t take her back after such a rejection.

Pike handed her the box, and she took it out of his hand, feeling its weight, running her thumb over the soft material. It felt expensive, so the contents were as well. Nervously, she untied the silken bow and put it on the table next to her empty plate. She was aware Pike was watching her and she hoped he couldn’t see everything she was feeling on her face.

Inside the box was a fragile bracelet, rose gold, a small shimmering diamond shaped like a heart twinkling up at Lisbon. It was a piece of jewelry she had never owned before, one she would never get for herself.

“Marcus,” she said breathlessly. “It’s beautiful! But it’s too much. I can’t accept it.”

Pike stood up and came over to stand next to Lisbon. He carefully took the bracelet out of the box, handling it like he would handle a small injured bird. He undid the clasp and put it around Lisbon’s left wrist, next to her watch, brushing against the skin there. His hands were warm, but the bracelet was cold, the small diamond heart reflecting the light from the candles like ice reflects the morning sun on a cold winter’s day. Lisbon stared at it, appreciating how the bracelet shimmered against her skin, thinking this wasn’t her, it didn’t belong there.

“Now you have something that’ll remind you of me when you’re wearing it,” Pike said with a soft smile, not letting go of Lisbon’s wrist.

Before Lisbon could tell him she couldn’t wear it, she would surely lose it if she did, she heard her phone ring from the living room. Pike stopped smiling as she jumped out of her chair. He slowly followed her into the living room and reached the couch as she picked up the phone, her whole body shifting into work mode, her back straight, neck stiff, her voice clear and determined.

“Lisbon.”

It was Fisher. “I’m sorry for disturbing you this late, but there’s been a break-in and a murder, and Abbott wants us all at the office right now.”

“No, it’s all right,” Lisbon said. “I can be there in about half an hour.”

“The briefing starts in 20 minutes,” Fisher told her. She sounded tired and annoyed.

Lisbon checked her watch, letting herself be distracted briefly by the bracelet next to it. It was half past ten. “I’ll be there,” she told Fisher and hung up.

“What’s happened?” Pike wanted to know.

“I need to get to work,” Lisbon told him. “I’m sorry, this is an emergency. They wouldn’t have called me if it wasn’t.”

Pike sighed. “I’ll drive you.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Pike assured her.

Lisbon nodded and kissed him quickly. “Thanks,” she said, “and thank you for dinner and for this.” She raised her wrist.

Pike pulled her close for another kiss, a longer, deeper one. Lisbon’s head was already busy with the case, but she let Pike kiss her and tried her best not the act too distractedly. But a part of her was glad Fisher had disrupted the evening. She didn’t feel like spending the night at Pike’s place and she knew Pike would have wanted her to. Work was exactly what she needed right now to put some distance between herself, Pike, and the feelings she wanted to have for him but that just weren’t there.

* * *

When Jane saw Lisbon walk out of the elevator, he couldn’t help but grin broadly. Even though Fisher had told her Abbott wanted them all at the FBI despite the late hour, the case wasn’t so important they really needed all hands on deck. If Lisbon had wanted to, she could have stayed away. But Jane knew Lisbon could never resist the temptation of a case. She looked tired and should probably have stayed at home to get some sleep, but, selfishly, Jane preferred she was here.

Only, she hadn’t come alone. As soon as the first feeling of happiness that seeing Lisbon invoked in him waned, Jane noticed Pike right behind her, a hand on the small of Lisbon’s back, guiding her carefully. He wasn’t part of their team, the case had nothing to do with him, which meant he was here because of Lisbon. Ergo, they had been spending time together, Pike had driven Lisbon here, and now he tried to be a part of this. Jane took a deep breath to steady himself, trying to shake off the first signs of jealousy (clenched fists, furrowed brow, a stale taste in his mouth) before facing them. He always felt he had to hold back when Lisbon and Pike were together, mostly for Lisbon’s sake, but also because he didn’t fully trust himself not to do or say something stupid when the other man was there. Sometimes he was caught off-guard by how much he missed the "good old times" when it had just been him and Lisbon, with no messy feelings and no boyfriends in the way. Still, it boiled down to him wanting her to be happy. He knew he had already hurt her too much, and when it came to being Lisbon’s boyfriend, he had to realize he simply was too late.

Jane swallowed his feelings and waited until Lisbon and Pike were within earshot. “Hello, Lisbon,” he said, a smile on his face. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Lisbon gazed at him, the look on her face guarded. “I could say the same about you.”

“What? A case like this? Murder? Theft?” He lowered his voice and smirked. “A stolen diamond?”

Lisbon’s looked at him like she always did when she thought he was joking. So they hadn’t told her about the diamond yet.

“The Heart of Eternity,” Jane whispered conspiratorially. “It’s one of the most valuable diamonds in the world. Extremely rare. And it was stolen earlier tonight.” He had Lisbon’s full attention now. “Whoever took the diamond killed a man. And we have to solve the murder and get the diamond back.”

“That’s it?” Pike sounded annoyed. A muscle was twitching in his neck, making him look like an angry bull.

Jane took a step back as a precaution. “There’s 16 million dollars on the line. And a human life,” he pointed out. “That’s not nothing.”

“No offense, but there are many capable agents here.” Pike made a vague gesture to encompass the whole room. “I’m sure you’ll be able to solve this one without Teresa having to be here in the middle of the night.”

Lisbon opened her mouth, but Jane was quicker. “No one is as capable as Lisbon. If someone can solve this case, it’s her.”

Pike rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying it could have waited until tomorrow. We were kind of in the middle of something.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing you have a discussion about priorities with the victim’s family,” Jane provoked him.

Before Pike could respond, Abbott told them all to take a seat. Pike ignored Jane, gave Lisbon a quick kiss, and whispered something in her ear before he walked back to the elevator. Jane was glad to see the back of him. He let Lisbon choose a seat in front of the video wall, then took the chair next to hers, glancing at her. When she caught his eye, he smirked at her, and she shook her head and raised a finger to her lips, nodding toward the front where Abbott was waiting for everyone to quieten down.

Jane leaned in closer to her. “Did you have a nice evening?” he asked, his voice a whisper.

“Yes,” Lisbon answered, her jaw tight.

_So the answer is actually no._

Or maybe she just didn’t want to be here. “You don’t need to be here if you don’t want to,” Jane pointed out. “I’m sure no one will think worse of you if you take the evening off.”

“No,” Lisbon said quickly. “I want to be here.”

“Hm,” Jane made, then straightened his back and turned his attention to Abbott and the video wall.

Since Lisbon had started dating Pike, Jane had started having difficulties reading her feelings. He knew she was keeping him locked out on purpose, but he didn’t know why. He hadn’t changed how he behaved toward her, in fact, he had made a point to be nice and attentive so she wouldn’t shut him out. He wanted to show her he didn’t mind she was in a serious relationship now, he wanted to prove to her (and to himself) there was nothing more important to him than her happiness. But she still didn’t let him in, so he had started to retreat further and further as well.

Abbott had started talking, a crime scene photo blown up uncomfortably large behind him. And next to it: a picture of the Heart of Eternity, a massive blue diamond cut in the shape of a heart. Jane pretended to listen to what Abbott was telling them, but he kept glancing at Lisbon, his thoughts preoccupied with her. She sat on his left side, her right leg crossed over her left, her right shoulder turned forward, putting up a physical barrier between herself and Jane. He didn’t know what he had done to warrant this kind of behavior (this evening it was most likely subconscious), but the one time he asked had Lisbon if he had done something wrong, she had changed the subject.

After his return from Venezuela, she had forgiven him for everything he had done, even though he didn’t deserve her forgiveness, and they had started to mend their friendship, had made good progress, had slowly gotten back to the way things used to be before he had killed Red John. Just when he had thought it might be time to take the next step and ask her out on a date, Lisbon had gotten herself a boyfriend, a proper one, not just a fling, and he had bought the Airstream, and it had gone downhill from there. Jane understood his own feelings, he knew he was scared of Pike taking Lisbon away from him, but he didn’t know what Lisbon was going through. She finally had everything she could want, and Jane had been nothing but nice to Pike, despite his better judgement, but Lisbon treated Jane coldly and refused to tell him what he had done to deserve it, and after a while he had stopped trying to figure out what he had done. All he could do now was try to get her to come out of her shell by being himself around her. He still hoped Lisbon would come around sooner or later. But it had been four months now and she was retreating more and more. Maybe she didn’t notice it herself or hoped Jane hadn’t noticed it, but her body language spoke volumes.

Next to him Lisbon shifted in her seat and raised her hand. Jane noticed a bracelet on her wrist that hadn’t been there this morning. A present from Pike. He snorted under his breath when he saw it. It didn’t suit her. How could anyone look at Lisbon and think a rose-gold bracelet with a sparkling diamond was the right gift for her? Surely, she was just wearing it as a favor to him. It did looked expensive.

“Lisbon,” Abbott acknowledged the raised hand.

“If we’ve known about them for as long as that, why hasn’t there been an arrest yet?” Lisbon asked.

Jane looked at the video wall in confusion and realized he had missed quite a lot about the case. The crime scene photo and the diamond were gone, replaced by surveillance photos of four people, two men and two women.

“They’re very careful,” Abbott explained. “We have yet to connect them to any of the thefts we know they’re responsible for.”

“It sounds to me like they are just a bunch of spoiled children,” Lisbon pointed out, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Jane looked at the photos on the screen again, trying to determine whether Lisbon was right or not. The suspects certainly looked young, they were in their early thirties. They also looked very rich – but not as if they had been born into wealthy families; instead they had earned their wealth. One of the men wore a big, golden watch; he was trying to show how much money he had, a trait only found in people who had recently come into money. One of the women wore a beautiful designer dress, but horrible shoes topped with pink rhinestones. They were trying to fit into a certain part of society, but no one had told them how they needed to behave and to look to be accepted.

“They’re not spoiled children, their wealth is earned,” Jane pointed out. “Look at the watch on that man’s wrist, Lisbon.”

Lisbon glanced at him, then turned her attention back to the video wall.

“They earned their wealth by stealing diamonds,” Abbott filled Jane in. “We also don’t think they’re doing it because they are bored but because it’s a source of income for them.”

“What’s our way in?” Lisbon asked. She turned even further away from Jane, but Jane put that down to the fact that she was angry he had been right.

“We’re still working on that,” Abbott said with a sigh. “They are very secretive and don’t accept new members easily.”

“So it’s like a club?” Jane asked. Abbott had his full attention now. “What do you have to do to become a member?”

“You have to be a diamond thief, of course,” Abbott replied. “And we think you have to fulfill certain personal criteria as well.”

“Like what?” Lisbon asked.

“You’re not supposed to have any family ties except for a wife or husband if you want to get in. We don’t think they accept people who are single into their group,” Abbott answered, checking something in his notes.

Lisbon snorted. “That’s stupid.”

Jane grinned broadly. “No, it’s genius,” he contradicted her. “If you’re already … tied up, you won’t be tempted to leave the group because of a fling, steal from your _co-workers_ in the process, and jeopardize their whole operation.”

“No, it’s stupid,” Lisbon insisted. “Single people are much more reliable, no messy feelings, no heartaches, no jealousy.”

“Maybe they use it as a form of leverage or insurance,” Jane went on thoughtfully, looking at Lisbon. “Let’s say, Lisbon, you were a member of this group and you wanted out for some reason. They could blackmail you into staying by using the one thing you care about against you, which is Pike, in your case. You would do anything to protect him and keep him from getting hurt, even if it meant staying in the group.”

Lisbon crossed her arms in front of her chest but didn’t say anything. Jane looked away, suddenly taking a great interest in the floor. He shouldn’t have brought Pike into this.

Abbott waited for a couple of seconds before he continued. “Our victim was murdered here in Austin, but the group has their base in Key West, Florida. So we’ll start there. I want you all to familiarize yourselves with the case file until tomorrow morning and then we’ll decide how to proceed. You’re dismissed.”

Jane jumped out of his chair and grabbed a copy of the file Abbott was handing out. Lisbon followed him but ignored him otherwise. Jane briefly thought about offering her a ride home, but Lisbon was already calling Pike to ask him to pick her up. It was better this way, Jane thought – he needed to focus on the plan that had already began forming in his head, a plan to catch the diamond thieves. A plan that would help him get close to Lisbon again. 


	2. For Old Times' Sake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisbon hadn’t told Pike about that one time she had dreamed of Jane while sleeping next to him, of course. There was no reason for her to do so. Dreaming was innocent enough. So was starting to text Pike she was looking forward to seeing him later and realizing just in time she was about to send the message to Jane. It could happen to anyone. And that one time she had said Jane instead of Marcus? Pike hadn’t heard her, luckily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I'm overwhelmed by all the lovely messages and the positive feedback I'm getting on this story. Working on it is the only thing that's keeping me sane while I'm trying to write a master's thesis in less than three weeks. Also, this is going to be a longer story again. I've written an outline for 16 chapters, but they're just getting longer and longer while I'm writing them, so I might split some chapters up before I make you guys read 10,000 words in one sitting.

“You’re crazy!” Lisbon’s voice rang through the fish tank, making even the people sitting outside the room jump. “I won’t do it. No way! Find someone else.”

“It’s the perfect plan,” Jane said slowly, leaning back in his chair to put some distance between himself and the furious Lisbon. “We’ve known each other the longest out of anyone here. If someone can pull this off convincingly, it’s us.”

“Jane has a point –,” Abbott started slowly, but Lisbon interrupted him.

“It’s a dumb idea.” Lisbon couldn’t believe Abbott was on Jane’s side. “That’s not how we work. That’s not how the FBI works. I’m sure we would be breaking a lot of rules and laws. And they’ll be able to use it against us, should this case end up in court.”

“Nah, it’ll be fine,” Jane said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“We would be tricking people to gather evidence,” Lisbon insisted.

“We’re just stealing back what doesn’t belong to them and we’re catching a murderer while we’re at it,” Jane contradicted her.

“I’m with Lisbon,” Fisher interjected. She hadn’t said much yet, but Lisbon was glad someone was finally on her side, and she turned to Fisher, smiling gratefully at her. “It’s not a very good plan, lots of things could go wrong, and it’s going to be expensive for the Bureau. We’ll need a house and cars and we need to get you diamonds you can use as bait, and even then we don’t know for sure they’re going to let you into their group.”

“But if they do, we won’t just catch a murderer, we’ll catch a whole group of diamond thieves, one that has managed to elude the FBI for many years” Jane pointed out. “I’m sure there are resources for this kind of venture.”

Fisher sighed and shook her head.

“Even if there were, it’s still not a very good plan,” Lisbon pointed out

“That is exactly the reason why I don’t usually tell you what I’m planning to do, Lisbon,” Jane murmured. “I knew you would react like this.”

Lisbon opened her mouth to fight back, but Abbott quickly said, “Let’s just listen to Jane’s plan and if you still feel like it won’t work, we can come up with a different one.”

With a sigh, Lisbon let herself fall back into her chair and frowned at Abbott, then turned her gaze to Jane and glared at him. “All right, let’s hear it then,” she gave in, feeling like she had just lost an important battle.

Jane smiled at her, but she didn’t move a muscle, so he continued to explain his plan, starting where Lisbon had interrupted him the first time. “As I’ve said, to gain access to this group of diamond thieves, Lisbon and I will pose as a couple. Our cover story is that we’ve just returned from several years spent abroad, preferably in Europe and the Middle East, and we now want to re-establish ourselves in the US. We heard about the group’s activities while we were in Europe, and we decided to come to Key West to meet with them, get to know them, and maybe establish a partnership with them. I’m sure Wylie can fake some profiles for us, newspaper articles, wanted posters, that sort of thing, so we’ll have something to back up our story.”

“And then what?” Lisbon challenged.

Jane ignored her. “We will rent a house in Key West from where we can operate. It needs to be nice, of course, we need to make them believe we have money. Once we’ve gained access to the group, we can collect intel and evidence on them. That’s the easy part. The hard part will be to gain their trust. They don’t just let anyone join. They’ll be on the lookout for people like us who are trying to gain access to them to catch them. That’s why it’s vital to the plan that Lisbon and I are convincing.”

“Why us?” Lisbon wanted to know. “Apart from the fact that I don’t agree with your plan because about a million things could go wrong, why do _we_ , of all people, need to pretend to be a couple?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m very good at tricking people,” Jane answered with a wink.

“And in case _you_ haven’t noticed,” Lisbon said slowly, trying to suppress the anger she was feeling, “I’m in a relationship.” Her relationship with Pike wasn’t a secret, but she never talked about it openly – she preferred keeping her private life to herself. Admitting that she had a boyfriend in front of her boss and her colleagues made her face flush, and she felt her anger toward Jane grow for pushing her this far.

“I think you missed the part where I said we’re going to _pose_ as a couple,” Jane repeated. “It’s not real.”

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Lisbon insisted. “Why us?” She glanced around the table at Abbott and Fisher, sensing this conversation made them uncomfortable. Fisher had her eyes lowered and was staring at her notepad, Abbott avoided eye contact with both of them by fixing his gaze to a spot somewhere behind Lisbon’s left shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll work well with any woman,” Lisbon added, her voice calmer. “As you said, you’re very good at tricking people.”

“But I don’t want to work with _any_ woman, I want to work with you,” Jane insisted. “We’ve known each other for ages, we’re comfortable around each other. It’ll just come natural to us.”

Lisbon knew Jane didn’t really think it would be easy, not because she had finally learned to read him like he was able to read her, but because she knew she had changed her behavior toward him over the last couple of months, ever since meeting Pike, and nothing was easy for them anymore. Pike had asked her once if she and Jane used to be a couple and then had dropped the subject after Lisbon had told him no, but she knew Pike was jealous of Jane, nevertheless. It was the root of his insecurity, it was the reason why he needed constant reassurance, and Lisbon quickly got annoyed when having to praise and compliment someone constantly, especially if that someone was begging for it. That was the reason why she had decided to act guarded whenever Jane was around, so Pike wouldn’t feel the need to compete with him. It was laughable, really, because she didn’t think about Jane in _that way_. There was no reason for Pike to worry.

Lisbon hadn’t told Pike about that one time she had dreamed of Jane while sleeping next to him, of course. There was no reason for her to do so. Dreaming was innocent enough. So was starting to text Pike she was looking forward to seeing him later and realizing just in time she was about to send the message to Jane. It could happen to anyone. And that one time she had said _Jane_ instead of _Marcus_? Pike hadn’t heard her, luckily.

Lisbon knew Jane’s plan was a bad idea, not because she doubted he could pull off a stunt like this, but because she knew _she_ couldn’t do it. She couldn’t pretend to be in love with Jane when all she could think about was how she was hurting Pike with this, even if it was for a case. And she didn’t want to consider what being close to Jane again might awaken in her. If Jane had come up with a plan like this five months ago, she wouldn’t have hesitated. She had a feeling Jane was a great boyfriend, and she wouldn’t have minded being his pretend girlfriend for a while, just to see what it would be like. But the stakes were too high now.

Absentmindedly, she fidgeted with the bracelet on her wrist and said, “How long do you suppose it would take for us to be accepted into the group?”

Jane shrugged. “Depends on how convincing we are, but not longer than a couple of weeks.”

“That sounds reasonable,” Abbott said.

Lisbon had forgotten she and Jane weren’t alone and hearing Abbott’s voice so unexpectedly made her flinch.

“I promise it’ll be fun,” Jane added. “Don’t tell me you’ve never wondered what it would be like to be a criminal. Now you get the chance to explore that idea.”

Lisbon sighed and rolled her eyes. “I like being on the right side of the law.”

“But a part of you can’t help to wonder what it would be like to let go, just once,” Jane probed. “What it would be like to ignore rules and regulations and _live_ a little. It's like an itch you want to scratch.”

“I’m very happy with my life,” Lisbon said through gritted teeth. She could feel she was getting a headache, and the stuffy air in the room wasn’t helping. She needed a break. “I’ll go get some lunch,” she said, standing up. “And when I get back, we’re gonna come up with another plan.”

Before Abbott or Fisher – or Jane – could protest, she walked out of the room and toward her desk. She put on her jacket, picked up her bag, and left.

* * *

Lisbon ordered the largest coffee and the greasiest sandwich they had and picked a table in the shade of a tall tree. It was a warm day, and the short walk from the FBI building to one of her favorite lunch places had left her feeling hot and sweaty. She took a bite from her sandwich, determined not to think about the meeting she had just left, but she couldn’t focus her thoughts on anything else. It was no use to fret about the whole situation. They couldn’t force her to go to Florida with Jane, even if it should turn out to be the best plan they could come up with. She just wouldn’t do it. And if they insisted, then Jane simply had to find another woman to do it with him.

For some reason, however, this thought irked her. Again, she ran a finger along her bracelet, stopping at the small diamond heart, and pulled softly at it, worrying it between her thumb and index finger. She had no right to feel this way, but when she thought about Jane with his arm around another woman, holding her hand, kissing her cheek, even if it was just pretend, she felt … _jealous_. There was no other word for it. And with Jane it was never just pretend, not really. He could make you believe the sky was green if he wanted to, so it would be easy for him to make any woman believe he was in love with her. And someone who wasn’t used to his tricks would fall for him within a couple of minutes. She had seen him do it, too, and the memory brought back more feelings of jealousy she refused to examine too closely.

“Hey.”

Hearing Jane’s voice so unexpectedly and so close to her made her jump. She turned to see him standing right next to her, his hands folded behind his back, an apologetic look on his face, a look she was all too familiar with. He always used it on her when he wanted her to forgive him for something not meant to be forgiven and she still did every time because she couldn’t stay mad at him if he looked at her like that.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked.

She waved her hand at the other chair at the table and he sat down.

“How did you find me?” she asked.

“You were stressed and annoyed and on the verge of getting a bad migraine,” Jane said fast, “you needed some comfort food, of course.”

“Hm,” Lisbon made, blowing air out through her nose loudly.

“I shouldn’t have pushed you like this, I’m sorry,” Jane said quickly before Lisbon could tell him to go away. He leaned forward in his chair, seeking out her eyes, insisting she look at him, so she knew he was telling the truth. “If you don’t want to do it, I completely understand. We’ll find another way.”

“Yeah,” Lisbon made, not prepared to let herself be lured into another discussion on this topic.

“You’re right, it is a dumb idea,” Jane went on. “You have commitments you can’t just ignore because of work.”

Lisbon could feel her headache returning, a dull, throbbing pain right above her left eye. “I know this might sound crazy to you, but what you’re asking of me is a lot more than regular _work_.”

“It’s a lot easier than regular work,” Jane contradicted her. “People already think we’re dating anyway.”

Lisbon snorted, but she could feel herself blush. “Who thinks we’re dating?” she challenged.

“Well, you know … uh, people,” Jane evaded the question.

“I want names,” Lisbon insisted, leaning forward as well, moving into Jane’s personal space.

Jane smirked at her. “This isn’t an official interrogation; you can’t make me tell you.”

“If this isn’t an _official_ interrogation, I can use any means necessary to get you to talk,” Lisbon said, her voice low, meaning for it to sound threateningly.

“I’m sure I still have rights though,” Jane pointed out.

Lisbon kicked him under the table. “Names, now,” she said.

Jane looked at her offended and rubbed his shin where she had kicked him. “Quid pro quo, Lisbon, quid pro quo. If I tell you, you have to answer a question in return.”

“All right,” Lisbon agreed. “One name gets you one short answer.”

“Rigsby,” Jane said immediately.

Lisbon snorted. “Well, Rigsby is an expert when it comes to romance.”

“Abbott.”

“Abbott?” Lisbon echoed. “Now you’re making fun of me.”

“I just bought myself two answers,” Jane said quickly. “Why don’t you want to come to Florida with me?”

“Because you’re gonna be difficult and it’s gonna be awkward,” Lisbon answered fast before she could think about it. “Next question.”

“No, wait a minute, what do you mean, _difficult_?” Jane asked.

“Is that your second question?” Lisbon wanted to know.

Jane shook his head. “No, it’s a sub-question.”

“You don’t get to ask any sub-questions.”

“Okay then, why did Pike get you that bracelet?”

Lisbon hadn’t expected this question, she hadn’t even known Jane had noticed the bracelet. She quickly glanced at the piece of jewelry, then moved her arm to rest on her lap under the table where Jane couldn’t see it. “We had our anniversary yesterday,” she answered quietly.

“That’s pretty generous for a one-month anniversary gift,” Jane said, cocking an eyebrow.

“It’s four months, actually.”

“Really? Has it already been that long?”

Lisbon shrugged. She hadn’t expected him to count the days, but she was also surprised he was this clueless.

“You don’t like it, do you? The bracelet,” Jane clarified. “You’re just wearing at as a favor to him.”

“No, I like it,” Lisbon assured him.

“Hm,” Jane made. It sounded like he didn’t believe her.

They had never discussed Pike and the role he played in Lisbon’s life before now. Jane had always steered clear of the topic and Lisbon didn’t know how to talk to Jane about her boyfriend. Jane was her best friend, it shouldn’t be so hard, but it was, precisely because they were so close. She knew Pike was jealous of Jane, and she feared Jane was jealous of Pike because for the first time since he had met Lisbon, he had to share her with someone and didn’t have her undivided attention. And Patrick Jane loved attention. He kept telling her he wanted her to be happy and he was nothing but supportive, but she knew her relationship with Pike was changing her relationship with Jane. She was also scared he would be able to see her feelings for Pike weren’t as deep as they should be after four months of dating if she started talking to him about this topic. And she was scared he would tease her because of it.

“Were you serious earlier?” Lisbon changed the subject. “Does Abbott really think we’re dating? I thought he knew about Pike.”

“No,” Jane admitted. “I was pulling your leg.” He smiled at her softly. “But Rigsby told me once he and Grace always thought we would end up together.”

“Yeah, right,” Lisbon said before she could stop herself.

“That’s what I told him. Crazy idea, isn't it?”

They both were quiet for a bit, giving Lisbon the opportunity to think about how un-crazy the idea actually was. She could see why Rigsby would think like this, hell, she had thought it herself sometimes. The way they acted around each other was enough to make anyone believe they were more than friends. And people had assumed it in the past. It was even enough to make Lisbon believe it from time to time. There had been times in the past when she had expected Jane was on the verge of making a confession, but he never had. And the way he was acting now, not taking Rigsby and Van Pelt seriously, made her think she shouldn’t either.

“You like him a lot, don’t you?” Jane suddenly interrupted the silence.

“Who? Rigsby?” Lisbon asked, taking a sip from her coffee.

“Pike,” Jane clarified.

“Yeah, I do,” Lisbon told him. Maybe she didn’t love him, but she liked him a lot, and she had no problem admitting this, not even to Jane. _If he wants to be jealous, let him be_ , she thought.

“He’s your first real boyfriend,” Jane went on in a teasing tone of voice.

Lisbon rolled her eyes. “I was engaged, Jane …”

“Yeah, but you weren’t serious about him,” Jane said with a dismissive wave of his hand, “you told me so yourself. But you’re serious about Pike. And Pike is serious about you.”

“I guess,” Lisbon said with a shrug. They were getting dangerously close to the topic of her true feelings for Pike, and she was trying to act as impartial as possible.

“If you are, then things are going to change,” Jane said quietly. For the first time since he had sat down opposite her, he moved his gaze away from her face to somewhere behind her. “A serious relationship isn’t just about the people involved. It affects everyone around them as well. It affects their friends, their work, everything. No matter how much you want to keep your relationship to yourself. You need to realize that.”

“I know,” Lisbon said just as quietly. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought about this. Things were already changing. She wasn’t spending as much time at work as she had before meeting Pike, and it was doing her good. But it also meant she wasn’t spending as much time with her friends and colleagues. And with Jane.

“You might get married soon,” Jane went on.

Lisbon’s heart started to beat fast and she felt her palms grow sweaty. She tried to dry them on her trousers, hoping Jane wouldn’t notice. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

Jane smiled. “I was joking,” he said. “But still, people change when they’re in a relationship.”

“I don’t!” It was an obvious lie and Jane would see right through it, but she needed to assure him she still considered him an important part of her life. She had to realize she was failing when Jane continued.

“Please, Lisbon, you’ve been avoiding me ever since you started dating Pike. This is the longest conversation we’ve had in months.”

So he had noticed something was different between them. It shouldn’t surprise her. She didn’t know what to say. There was no use denying it, but she definitely wouldn’t let herself be dragged into a discussion about her feelings and Pike’s feelings and Jane’s feelings. It could get very messy very fast.

Jane leaned forward, focusing on Lisbon’s face again. For a second she expected him to touch her, but both her hands were under the table, out of his reach, and her shoulders were hunched and stiff, her body language telling him not to try anything funny, and he didn’t.

“Come to Florida with me,” he said quietly, his eyes on hers. She found herself unable to look away. “Please? For old times’ sake. I promise I won’t be difficult, and I promise I won’t annoy you.”

Lisbon wanted to break eye contact, she didn’t want him to see how torn she was between saying yes and staying in Texas. It shouldn’t be so hard for her to reject him, but it was.

“And it’ll be good for you,” Jane continued when Lisbon didn’t say anything, “and for your relationship. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.”

Leave it to Jane to notice she wasn’t as much in love with Pike as she would like to be.

Lisbon took a deep breath. She should say no, her mind was telling her so. But it was quickly getting overruled by her heart, which longed to go on one last adventure with Jane. She wasn’t married, she wasn’t even engaged yet, but Jane was right – things were changing. She needed closure before she could move on with her life. And maybe it was just what she needed to get a clear sense of her feelings for Pike, too. Maybe she had been spending too much time with her boyfriend, and once she was away for him for a while, she would start to miss him and realize she loved him after all. And Jane was right – she needed to be someone else for a while.

“We need to set some rules and boundaries,” she said, finally managing to look away. She still noticed Jane was smiling like a child who had been told he would be spending his birthday at Disney World.

“Sure, anything you want,” he said, nodding eagerly.

“No funny business, no tricks, and you have to let me in on every detail of your plans,” Lisbon said fast, before she could change her mind.

“No problem,” Jane agreed.

“Also, no kissing,” Lisbon added, blushing.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Jane said, still grinning. “You’re practically a married woman.”

She punched his arm. “Shut up.”

“You can’t keep doing that,” Jane said, rubbing his arm. He looked offended, but there was a mischievous glint in his eyes. “From now on, stuff like this will be categorized as spousal abuse.”

Lisbon punched him again.

* * *

When Fisher heard Lisbon had agreed to Jane’s plan, she rolled her eyes. Lisbon felt embarrassed, but Jane, half-jokingly, said Fisher surely only was jealous because Jane had picked Lisbon instead of her, and then Fisher refrained from saying anything contradictory to the plan.

_The Plan._

Lisbon had started to capitalize the word whenever she thought about it. She still thought there were about a million things that could go wrong. She had to pretend to be a completely different person for a while (and even though she kept insisting she was quite good a lying, she knew Jane was right – she was a terrible liar) and she hoped she would be able to pull it off. The last thing they needed was for her to blow their cover after putting so much time, effort, and money into the case. And then there was the small matter of having to pretend to be Jane’s girlfriend. She refused to think about that yet, deciding she would cross that particular bridge once they got to it.

Abbott was eager to get the plan on the road as quickly as possible. There were people higher up pressing for a quick arrest. And Abbott didn’t want to keep them waiting. Even though he was convinced Jane’s plan would work and Lisbon guessed he had the most confidence in its success out of anyone in the room (maybe even more than Jane), he set them a deadline: They had three weeks to be accepted into the group and get the diamond back. If they failed, they would be taken off the case.

They were supposed to leave for Florida the day after tomorrow. That would be the start of the countdown to Day 0, another word Lisbon only thought of capitalized. 21 days to get access to an elusive group of diamond thieves, gain their trust, gather evidence on them, make an arrest, and locate one of the most valuable diamonds in the world. Lisbon liked a challenge, but she couldn’t help wondering if they were in over their heads. It seemed almost impossible, even for someone with Jane’s abilities, to close this case in time. And he needed a partner he could rely on for this – Lisbon wasn’t sure she was this partner and could support Jane in the way he needed her to. But Jane had chosen her, so she would do her best.

The rest of the afternoon went by quickly; they worked out the plan's details. Jane picked a house in Key West the FBI would rent for them, they bought their plane tickets, decided when and how to hold their daily briefings with Abbott and the others back home, and Wylie started to work on their fake social media profiles and planted fake news articles about stolen diamonds in Europe. At half past six, Lisbon felt as prepared as she could have felt, considering the circumstances. The hard part, however, still lay in front of her.

Pike was waiting for her on her porch, a bottle of wine and a bouquet of flowers in his hands. They kissed, then Lisbon unlocked the door to let them both in. On the drive from the FBI to her house, she had decided on the strategy she wanted to use to tell Pike she would be spending the next three weeks in Florida. With Jane. Pretending to be his girlfriend. It was just like taking off a band-aid. You had to do it fast and it hurt, but once it was done you felt better.

“You should sit down,” Lisbon said, not looking at him directly. She took the flowers from him and went looking for a vase, while Pike sat down on her couch. “Something happened at work today, and I think you should know about it.”

“Are you okay?” Pike asked, his voice full of concern.

Lisbon filled the vase she had found with water, put the flowers in, and carried it to the living room to put it in her windowsill. “I have to go away for a couple of weeks, to Florida. It’s for the case with the stolen diamond,” she told him, still not making eye contact.

“For how long?” Pike wanted to know.

“We have three weeks to solve the case,” Lisbon answered.

Pike gestured for her to join her on the couch, and Lisbon did. He took her hands in his, lightly touching the bracelet he had given her. “Oh, you wearing it.”

“You sound surprised,” Lisbon said.

“No, just happy.” He shrugged. “Three weeks is a long time,” he picked up their earlier topic, “but we’ll manage. It’s not the end of the world. And I’ll fly to Florida as often as possible to see you.”

Lisbon had dreaded he would suggest this. “That might not be such a good idea. We’re going undercover. It’s too dangerous, we don’t know if we’ll be put under surveillance by our targets. It could blow our cover.”

“What’s the cover?” Pike wanted to know.

Lisbon took a deep breath. “We’ll pretend to be thieves to get access to the group of people who are responsible for the theft of the Heart of Eternity. The plan is to gather evidence on them and get the diamond back.” It sounded silly when she said it like this. She prepared herself for Pike’s objections, calling the plan dumb (like she had done), pointing out how much this was going to cost (like Fisher had done), and she couldn’t blame him for reacting like this.

“Oh, that sounds like fun!” Pike’s eyes were shining with excitement. It wasn’t at all the reaction Lisbon had expected. “I’ll definitely come and visit you then. I always wanted to be a gangster. I’m gonna get myself a hat and I’ll blend right in, you’ll see.” He flashed a broad grin at her. “We’re gonna be like Bonnie and Clyde.”

Lisbon looked at him worriedly. This was even worse than she had expected. Not only was he planning to visit her, he wanted to be a part of this.

When she didn’t say anything, he said in a serious tone of voice: “We’ll be careful. I won’t blow your cover, don’t worry. But you have to admit sneaking around sounds like fun.”

“It’s not that …,” Lisbon said slowly. “There’s something else I haven’t told you yet.”

“What is it?” Pike wanted to know. He squeezed her hand reassuringly.

“You won’t be able to come and visit me. We won’t be able to see each other at all during those three weeks,” Lisbon started. Her heart was beating uncomfortably hard in her chest and she realized she was having trouble breathing. She was nervous, nervous about how Pike would react to what she said next. “I have to pretend to be in a relationship with someone.”

Pike frowned. “Who is it?”

“It’s just because this group we’re trying to get a hold of only accepts people as members who are in a relationship with each other. It’s their thing,” Lisbon answered, shrugging apologetically.

“That’s not what I asked,” Pike said slowly. Lisbon could feel the atmosphere in the room changing. It was like watching a sunset. One minute you were basking in the warm evening light, the next it was dark and a cool breeze was tugging at you, urging you to go home. “Who’s gonna be your partner? Or boyfriend or whatever.”

“Jane.” It was a simple word that carried so much meaning, not just for Lisbon but also for Pike. It had just one syllable, but it was enough to drive a wedge between them.

“Jane?” Pike repeated, shifting on the couch to put some distance between him and Lisbon.

“Yeah,” Lisbon said, freeing her hands from Pike’s grip, “it was his plan.” She flinched. As if that was an excuse.

“Of course it was,” Pike said. He sounded exasperated. “But why you?”

“Well, you know.” Lisbon shrugged. “We’ve known each other for ages and we’re comfortable with each other. If they ask us any questions about the other, we don’t have to make anything up, we’ll know what to say. And Jane knows me and I know him, and we know how to respect each other’s boundaries.” She knew it wasn’t enough.

“Sure.” Pike moved even further away from Lisbon. “But have you stopped to think about how this will make me feel? Did you think about me for just one second while you were coming up with this _great plan_?”

Pike looked like a man who shouted when he got angry. But he didn’t. He got very quiet, whispered his anger into the world. It made his rare outbursts unnerving and slightly disturbing. So far, he hadn’t started to whisper yet, but he was getting there. The way he said _great plan_ came out breathy.

“Yes, of course,” Lisbon assured him. “It’s not like we’re actually going to be in a relationship. It’s just for a case. Hell, we’ll even have separate bedrooms. Jane insisted.”

“ _Jane_ insisted?” There it was, the whisper. “Good to know at least one of you remembered you have a boyfriend.”

Lisbon felt hurt. She had expected Pike wouldn’t jump with joy at the plan, but she had hoped he trusted her enough to let her go through with it. She turned away from him, not sure how to react to his accusation, but she didn’t need to say anything. He was just getting started.

“Never mind about the separate bedrooms. It’s the least you could do. But how far do you think you’ll have to go to fool your targets? Knowing each other well won’t be enough. Friends know each other well. Lovers …” He didn’t finish the thought.

“I won’t do anything to jeopardize my relationship with you, if that’s what you’re implying,” Lisbon assured him. “It’s not like they’ll expect us to _prove_ we’re a couple.”

“And how do you think you’ll manage to convince a group of strangers you’re his girlfriend?” Pike whispered. “They’ll catch right on if they won’t at least see a kiss.”

“I talked it over with him, don’t worry about it,” Lisbon said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “There won’t be any kissing, all right? You need to trust me.”

Pike snorted. “I’m not sure I can do that.”

Lisbon swallowed. “Then I’m not sure we should be together.”

Pike looked at her as if she had spoken to him in another language. “You’re breaking up with me because I’m upset you’re pretending to be another man’s girlfriend? No, strike that. It’s not any man, it’s Jane.”

“No, this is about you not trusting me,” Lisbon corrected him. “And this has nothing to do with Jane.”

“It’s always about Jane. You keep letting him determine how your life will go. You moved to a different state and gave up your job because he told you to. And don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look at him.” Pike’s voice was so quiet now that Lisbon had trouble understanding him.

She had tried not to look at Jane in any particular way. As soon as Pike had become part of her life, she had made sure to keep the man Pike could see as a potential threat as far away from her as possible because she wanted one of her relationships to finally work. It had upset Jane, but she had thought about all the times he had hurt her feelings and decided it was a fair bargain. But Pike still had noticed something – Lisbon wasn’t sure what because she still refused to open that particular door, to sit down and _think_ for once about what her true feelings were where Jane was concerned.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.

“Don’t play dumb. It’s obvious there’s something going on between the two of you. I don’t know if it’s in the past or not, but anyone can see it.”

So Pike hadn’t believed her two months ago when they had had a similar conversation. She had told him then there was nothing going on between her and Jane, and she would continue to insist on it until he believed her.

Lisbon snorted. “No, there’s nothing. Jane is just my colleague. And my friend. I’ve known him for ages.” Jane _was_ her colleague. And her friend. She needed Pike to see that, just as much as she needed to convince herself that this was all he was.

“Yeah, right,” Pike said with a sigh. He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I also see the way he looks at you. Believe me, there’s definitely something there. The difference is I trust him. I know he respects you’re in a relationship. I’m just not sure you do.”

Lisbon was on the verge of standing up and storming out until she remembered they were in her house and there was nowhere she could run to. But she also refused to let Pike continue to talk to her like this. “This is because I didn’t say _I love you_ ,” she said. It wasn’t a question. She wanted to show Pike how unreasonable and hurtful his behavior was.

“No, this is because you jumped at the chance to pretend to be Jane’s girlfriend,” Pike shot back.

“I didn’t _jump_ at him … it,” Lisbon corrected him. “I was very reluctant to agree. But this is still my job we’re talking about and you know how important that is to me.”

Pike sighed. “All right, you know what?” His voice sounded normal again, but the words he had said made Lisbon’s heart clench in fear. “You’re right, I should trust you,” Pike continued. “If you say there’s nothing going on between you and Jane, and you can keep this strictly professional, then I won’t stand in your way.” For a second time this evening, his reaction surprised Lisbon. “You wanna know why? Because I love you.”

_Ah, there it is._

It had taken him not even twenty-four hours to use it as leverage against her. But Lisbon wanted this relationship to work, so she was prepared to overlook it.

“Thank you,” she said slowly. She looked at him, trying to figure out if he really was okay with this or if he wanted her to say she cared for him so much she wouldn’t go on this case with Jane. Because if he expected that of her, he would be disappointed. “Maybe, after I get back, we can take some time off and go away together. A change of scenery might do us good, you know.”

“Yeah, okay,” Pike agreed. “I’d like that.”

“Shall we get dinner then?” Lisbon asked before they could go back to fighting. She had spent enough time today arguing about (and with) Jane. “There’s this new Italian place I wanted to try for ages.”

“Yeah, okay,” Pike repeated.

In the car, Lisbon replayed Pike’s words in her head. _If you say there’s nothing going on between you and Jane, and you can keep this strictly professional, then I won’t stand in your way._ What she hadn’t told him was she had no idea if there was something going on between them and all she could do was hope she would be able to keep this professional. The last thing she needed was her feelings getting in the way of solving a case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I guess they're off to Florida then in the next chapter.


	3. Eaton Street, Key West, Florida

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You look like a rich investment banker with a faint idea of what people who go on holiday look like,” Lisbon pointed out, trying to hide the fact she actually thought the look suited Jane very well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be very busy this weekend and I don't think I'll be able to update this fanfic on Sunday, so I'm already updating it today. While writing, I spent some time on fashion blogs trying to find a good outfit for Jane, then I spent some more time watching videos of planes approaching the airport in Key West, and then I spent even more time on real estate websites trying to find the perfect house for Jane and Lisbon. All in all, I think I spent more time looking at nice pictures and watching videos than actually writing this.

Jane had promised her he wouldn’t be difficult and annoying, but Lisbon found herself unable to believe him. He had called her the previous evening to tell her to wear something nice to the airport. It had sounded as if he didn’t trust Lisbon to fit into the role assigned to her. Now she was on her way to the airport, wearing a long white summer dress. She had a small carry-on luggage on the backseat next to her because Jane had also told her she wouldn’t need more than that. He would make sure they looked the part by buying clothes for the both of them.

Lisbon had spent her last evening in Austin with Pike, but her heart hadn’t been in it, and even though Pike had done his best to get her to unwind, she hadn’t been able to, already preoccupied with the task ahead of her. Pike had helped her pack, then he had taken her out to dinner. It had been a subdued affair – Pike was sad to see Lisbon go, and Lisbon was nervous and easily agitated. She also knew he had wanted to spend the night at her place, maybe even have sex with her one last time, but Lisbon had told him she was too tired and nervous, and they had said their goodbyes in the car. He hadn’t offered to walk her to her front door, which he usually did, and if she hadn’t been busy worrying about the case, she might have noticed it as a sign for how disappointed he was. She had, however, promised him to call often, which had cheered him up slightly.

She had spent the night tossing and turning, only sleeping for three hours, her dreams riddled with nightmares. Now she had almost six hours of solitude ahead of her during which she could overthink every aspect of the case and the plan even more. Jane was already in Key West. He had flown there the previous day, signing the contracts for the house, renting a car, and meeting with their colleagues from the FBI office in Miami who would provide them with intel and with diamonds they were planning to use as bait. Lisbon had offered to come with him, but he had told her it wasn’t necessary, he could take care of things. Now Lisbon wished she had insisted, because she didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts.

The flight from Austin to Miami took almost three hours. Lisbon spent it asking herself what had possessed her to agree to be part of this plan. And she tried to suppress the feeling of a weight being lifted off her chest when she thought about not having to see Pike for three weeks. It made her feel guilty and disappointed with herself. But she was looking forward to being herself for a while without Pike’s pushy behavior. No matter how difficult it would to be to work with Jane so closely, it would be nothing compared to living in a constant state of unrest, worrying about what Pike would do next.

It shouldn’t be like this, she knew that much. A boyfriend shouldn’t make you feel like you were constantly disappointing him, like you weren’t enough, while at the same time professing his feelings for you, telling you how much he loved you. But she couldn’t break up with him, couldn’t accept she had failed yet again at maintaining a long-term relationship. And she hoped once there was some distance between Pike and her, she would realize how much he meant to her and how difficult not being with him was.

There was also a nagging feeling telling her she should finally examine her feelings toward Jane, and fast, before she landed in Key West and had to pretend to be his girlfriend. But she didn’t dare – she was scared of what she might discover and what it might mean for her relationship with Pike. And for the case. One of the reasons why she had agreed to Jane’s plan was that she was confident it wouldn’t evoke any feelings in her. She knew him and was able to recognize the difference between Jane being in character for a case, and the real Jane, the one who always looked out for her and wanted her to be happy. If she started to examine her feelings toward Jane, this wall she had built up carefully might come crumbling down within seconds and she didn’t want that. Because it meant she might be losing both Jane _and_ Pike in the process. Pike because she would have to break up with him to be with Jane. And Jane because she was terrified of misreading him, of taking the next step and having to discover he didn’t have any feelings for her. It might be enough to destroy their friendship.

Lisbon had a layover in Miami of almost two hours, and she spent it getting as much caffeine into her body as possible. She knew she would need the energy once she arrived at her destination. Pike had texted her he missed her and Jane had texted her he would be picking her up from the airport in Key West, but he might run late because there were still a couple of errands he needed to take care of first.

Luckily, the flight from Miami to her final destination took just under an hour. They took off and were already starting their decent shortly afterwards. And once Lisbon felt the plane approaching the airport in Key West, her mind was busy taking in the view from the window.

Lisbon had been to Miami before, but she had never been further south than that. To her, Florida was a place to spend your vacation, and she didn’t do vacations. But what she saw now took her breath away and she could see why the Keys appealed to so many people. The plane was flying above the ocean, different shades of blue – from dark to almost white – and turquoise blending into each other, disrupted by white lines left behind by fast motorboats racing across the otherwise smooth surface of the water. Then suddenly there it was, appearing out of nowhere: the island. Lisbon could make out white roofs, green trees, grey streets, and golden beaches, all blending into one another, forming a picture that made her feel relaxed as if she was here for a holiday herself and not for work. Then the plane hit the ground and glided to a stop in front of the low airport building.

Lisbon’s nervousness returned with full force as soon as the wheels touched down, making her palms sweaty and her feet tingle. She had to check her bag three times to make sure she didn’t forget anything on the plane, and when the man who was sitting next to her didn’t stand up immediately as soon as they doors opened, she had to hold herself back so she wouldn’t snap at him. The uncertainty of what expected her made it hard for her to think straight. She didn’t like not knowing. And everything about this case so far was a mystery to her. She didn’t even know the address of the house she would be staying in for the next three weeks.

Once Lisbon managed to get off the plane, she wished she could go back inside immediately. She had walked into a solid wall of humid air, making it difficult to breath, her dress sticking to her body uncomfortably within seconds. The Florida sun was beating down on her with no chance of escape. She felt the first signs of an approaching headache: nausea, dizziness, a dull throbbing over her left eye. If the house Jane and the FBI had picked didn’t have air conditioning, she would be on the next flight back to Austin.

It was a short walk from the airplane through the airport building out to the street. Since Lisbon only had her carry-on luggage, she didn’t have to wait, like most of the people who had been on the plane with her. They were all here to relax and wind down, not minding they had to spend half an hour waiting for their luggage. Lisbon walked right past them and out onto the street, looking around to see if she could spot Jane anywhere. But all she saw were cabs and tourists, and she sighed with exasperation, desperate to get home and take a shower.

Lisbon decided to follow the signs to a parking lot. Jane _had_ texted her he might be late, so she wanted to wait for him somewhere they could meet easily, and she could get home as fast as possible without Jane having to look for parking first. But she didn’t have to wait, because as soon as she walked onto the sunny parking lot, she spotted Jane.

Lisbon had to look twice to make sure it really was him. He was wearing an oversized shirt, white with dark blue stripes, and beige shorts. But the loafers he was wearing threw her off the most. Still, the clothes looked expensive, and Lisbon was sure they would turn out to be linen or an equally high-quality fabric upon closer inspection. Even though he looked like the tourists who had been with her on the plane, he still exuded an aura of sophistication, and Lisbon had to realize he was already in character. He even was slightly tan already. The only thing missing was a panama hat, but Lisbon was sure, knowing Jane, he would produce one from somewhere soon. He fitted right in, and Lisbon became aware of how much she did not with her long, sweat-soaked dress and pale skin.

Jane had one of his hands raised to shield his eyes from the sun, scanning the people coming out of the airport. When he spotted Lisbon, he put on a big smile and walked toward her.

“Hey,” he said, immediately taking her carry-on luggage out of her hand. “Did you have a nice flight?”

“It was okay,” Lisbon answered. Then she asked, “What are you wearing?”

“Work clothes.” Jane winked at her.

“You look like a rich investment banker with a faint idea of what people who go on holiday look like,” Lisbon pointed out, trying to hide the fact she actually thought the look suited Jane very well.

“That’s exactly the look I was going for,” Jane told her. “Shall we?”

He pointed at the car he had been standing next to when Lisbon had come out of the airport. Lisbon, who had been very distracted by Jane’s look, hadn’t paid it much attention, but she did so now. It was metallic blue, and reminded her of his old Citroën, only that it was a drophead coupé. The roof had been folded back, so it looked like a convertible, and she could see it only had two seats. Lisbon had expected the car to be a Mercedes or even a Bentley, but definitely an SUV. What she hadn’t expected was a small, old car that looked like something out of a fifties movie.

“Do you like it?” Jane asked, watching Lisbon’s face carefully.

“I love it,” she answered, smiling at him. “Where did you get it?”

“Uh, you know,” Jane said with a shrug.

Lisbon opened the door on the passenger side and let herself fall into the leather seat. “It really feels like I’m in an old gangster movie,” she said, letting her hand run across the ivory-colored dashboard.

“Just wait till you see the house,” Jane told her, while he stowed her bag in the trunk.

“Is it far?” Lisbon asked, suddenly very aware again of how the dress was sticking to her. The leather seat didn’t do much to ease how uncomfortable she felt. If anything, it made her feel even more sticky.

“About ten minutes,” Jane answered, gliding in next to her.

Lisbon glanced at him, thinking it was unfair how easy it was for him to make everything look so effortless in this kind of weather when she got sweaty just from breathing. She ran a hand through her hair, trying to keep it out of her eyes, then moved it up and down in front of her face to get the air moving. Then she spotted the chicken right next to the car. It was alive and moving around, and she stared at it, her mouth open in surprise. “Jane, what’s that?” she asked.

Jane smiled at her. “You better get used to it, they’re everywhere around here.”

He started the car and drove out of the parking lot onto a busy street. The airflow helped Lisbon cool down slightly, but as soon as they got moving, she was too busy looking around to notice her own state much. On their left-hand side, there was the ocean, a deep turquoise expanse that looked like something straight out of a travel brochure. Lisbon stared at it, watching the boats and then later the people on a beach, as they drove past one. Too soon for her taste, Jane turned right, and she found herself in the middle of a busy town full of tourists, bars, and shops. She glanced at Jane, who only had his right hand on the steering wheel, and his left elbow propped up against the car door. When he turned to return her gaze, she quickly looked away, trying not to think about how much she wished they were on holiday as well, just the two of them.

Luckily, she soon was distracted by them driving through a marina where Lisbon could stare at yachts and speedboats and didn’t have to think about the man next to her. Then, finally, Jane made a left turn and announced they were almost at their destination. It was a busy street with beautiful old houses on either side, some of them hidden behind palm trees and ferns, low fences, and colorful hedges. When Jane slowed down and parked the car on the left side of the street in a parking bay next to a small house, Lisbon couldn’t help but feel disappointed. 

The house was narrow, nothing more than a small porch and two windows looking out onto the street. Jane had made her believe he was taking her to an Antebellum, five-bedroom mansion with a big pool out back, but the house looked even smaller than her bungalow in Austin.

“That’s it?” she asked, getting out of the car. “I was expecting a bit more … razzle-dazzle.”

“You’re very quick to judge based on a first impression,” Jane said while he got Lisbon’s bag out of the trunk.

“Surprise me then,” she challenged, glancing at the house in apprehension.

“You’re always so impatient.” Jane smirked at her. “You need to relax. Just pretend we’re on vacation.”

Lisbon didn’t want to tell him she had thought about this not even ten minutes ago and had then buried the thought deep down where it couldn’t affect her because if she allowed herself to think like this, she would only get distracted. Jane interpreted her silence as agreement and led the way up to the porch. He unlocked the front door and held it open, waiting for Lisbon to walk past him.

As soon as Lisbon was inside, she had to stop and stare. The house was huge. They stood in a light, airy entrance area; it had a dark marble floor and minimalist decoration. There was just a small table that looked like it was made out of whitewashed driftwood. After the entrance area came a living room which was dominated by a long, grey couch. Lisbon guessed that at least 10 people could sit there comfortably. The floor was wooden but covered in a long carpet made from bast fiber. The couch table looked like it was made out of an old, wooden door, and Lisbon had a feeling that it was exactly that. But right after this room came another living room with another couch, beige this time and a little smaller. Two old treasure chests served as coffee tables. Above the couch, someone had hung six model sailboats, each one from a different time period. The ceiling was wooden, giving the impression they were inside a ship. Behind this living room was a bedroom with a queen-sized bed and several bookcases; even the walls were wooden here, continuing the nautical theme.

Jane led her on into a kitchen area that included a long bar decorated with fishnets, pirate flags, and even a real ship’s wheel. The appliances were, to Lisbon’s relief, modern, there was an oven, a coffee machine, and a gigantic fridge that even Rigsby wouldn’t have been able to fill. Again, both floor and ceiling were wooden, but the room didn’t look stuffy or old. The kitchen opened up onto an outdoor area which was dominated by a long pool. To the right of the pool was a small jungle of trees and ferns and flowers, shielding the garden from anyone looking in from that side. To the left a long terrace stretched the length of the garden. Halfway down the pool stood a small garden pavilion with a long table beneath. From the roof of the pavilion someone had hung fairy lights and stretched them across the pool to somewhere in the trees. Lisbon stepped outside to take a closer look at the pool, and then craned her neck to get a better impression of the size of the house. The outside was white, except for the shutters, which were a light turquoise, just like the calm ocean. A spiral staircase led up a floor to a balcony and, presumably, more rooms.

“Jane,” she said slowly, “just how big is this house?”

“Five bedrooms,” Jane answered. He couldn’t stop smiling at her. “There’s another one over there,” he pointed along the terrace to somewhere behind the spiral staircase, “and there are three more upstairs.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Lisbon said breathlessly.

“ _Thank you, Jane_ , might be a good start.”

Lisbon rolled her eyes at him. “This is too much,” she pointed out. “I don’t even want to know what the FBI is paying for this house.”

“You’re not easy to please. First, you complain the house is too small, then it’s too big –”

Lisbon interrupted him. “I’m not complaining, I’m just saying it’s a bit much.”

“We’re diamond thieves, Lisbon,” Jane reminded her. “We’re rich. We have more money than we know what to do with.”

Lisbon looked at the pool, then back at Jane. “I’m sorry, I think I’m just tired. I need a shower and a nap.”

“I’ll show you to your room then,” Jane said with a tiny bow. “I already picked one for you, I hope you don’t mind.”

He led her up the spiral staircase to a balcony overlooking the pool. French windows stood open, leading into a clean bedroom. The first thing Lisbon noticed was a painting of the ocean, the second thing was the king-sized bed, again, made out of bast. It was positioned so the person sleeping in it had a view of the garden. There was an armchair that went with the bed, as well as a small cabinet that was too small to hold any clothes but too big for anything else. The wall behind it was the same turquoise color than the window shutters, the other walls were white, just like the ceiling. On the left side of the room were two doors, one leading to a walk-in closet, the other to an ensuite bathroom with marble floors, a large shower, and two sinks.

“You’ll have it all to yourself,” Jane told Lisbon once she had finished looking around. He put her bag next to the bed on the floor.

“Where are you staying?” Lisbon asked.

“Around the corner,” Jane answered. “Just outside to your left. I’m practically gonna be next door.” Lisbon wanted to point out that nothing was next door in this house, but Jane continued. “I’ll give you some time for your shower and nap. Just come downstairs when you’re ready.”

* * *

It rained heavily outside, had done so for the last 10 minutes. Lisbon didn’t mind. It meant there was also a cool breeze blowing in from the ocean, making the water of the swimming pool dance in tiny waves and the trees in the backyard sway from side to side. It was calming. She stood in the kitchen, hugging herself, relishing the feeling of the chilly air against her skin. She had changed out of her dress into something more comfortable, something Jane had picked for her: long, yet light beige trousers and a black blouse made from the same light fabric. Showered and dressed in these comfortable clothes she finally felt human again. And she had to admit Jane had good taste, and not only knew what fit her but also what was the best thing to wear in such warm weather.

Jane was busying himself with dinner preparations. He had put on long trousers as well and looked more like himself again. They had wanted to go out for food, but the weather had foiled their plan, and so they had decided to stay inside. Jane had taken care their fridge was stocked before Lisbon had arrived, and so they had enough food in the house. And Lisbon didn’t feel like going out anyway and was glad she didn’t have to pretend to be someone else.

“Don’t worry, the house won’t blow away,” Jane said suddenly, interrupting her thoughts.

“I’m not worried,” Lisbon told him and turned around. She walked to the kitchen and sat down on one of the barstools there. “I just haven’t seen a storm like this in quite some time.”

“There is no slacking in my kitchen,” Jane told her and pointed at a pile of potatoes. “You can peel and cut these.”

Lisbon sighed and pretended to be annoyed, but she was secretly glad he was giving her something to occupy herself with. Pike didn’t like it when she wanted to help him cook. He always had a vision of how the meal needed to turn out, and another person might interfere with his plans. Lisbon stood up again and walked around the bar, so she was next to Jane at the countertop. He handed her a potato peeler, their fingers brushing briefly. This small touch, the whole setting, Jane next to her at a distance that made her feel comfortable and at ease, was more intimate than anything she had experienced with Pike during the last couple of weeks. She blushed when she realized what she was thinking and busied herself with the potatoes.

“So,” Jane started after a couple of minutes of silence, “do you still think this plan is stupid?”

“I still think there are lots of things that could go wrong,” Lisbon answered, “but I have to admit I’m surprised.”

“Surprised? How? Why?”

Lisbon had to smile because Jane seemed genuinely concerned by her comment. “You know,” she shrugged, not finishing the sentence. The truth was she was surprised everything had worked out so far. But she was even more astonished Jane was keeping his promise. He was behaving, he wasn’t annoying – in fact, quite the opposite. He was nice to her, relaxed, and so far, this situation didn’t make her uncomfortable at all. Instead, she was enjoying herself a lot. They were at ease with each other and, for the first time in four months, she didn’t feel like running away from him. But she couldn’t tell him all this.

Jane decided not to press the subject. “Well, you’re here,” he said. “That’s what counts.”

“I hate to admit this, but you were right,” Lisbon told him, starting to peel the potatoes. “I needed a change of scenery.”

Jane, who was busy cutting pieces out of a larger chunk of salmon, cocked an eyebrow at her. “See? Maybe you should listen to me more often.”

Lisbon laughed. “If I did that, I would be out of a job by now.”

Jane laughed as well. “You’re always so dramatic.”

“That’s rich, coming from you,” Lisbon said with a snort.

“Could you pass me the salt, please?” Jane asked, pointing to a row of spices next to Lisbon.

Lisbon did as she was told. Their fingers brushed again, as they always did when they handed each other something. Lisbon had no idea why she kept noticing his touch this evening. She had never done so before.

“Thanks.” While Jane seasoned the fish, he continued. “It’s my job to be dramatic. If I acted differently, people wouldn’t be half as impressed by my skills.”

“Personally, I could do with a little less drama,” Lisbon told him.

Suddenly, the kitchen was illuminated by lightning, followed by a deafening clap of thunder right afterwards. Lisbon jumped.

Jane laughed. “Fate seems to disagree with you,” he paused for a moment, “and I do too. I think you love drama, or you wouldn’t be here.”

Lisbon picked up another potato, avoiding having to look at Jane. “I’m here because it’s my job,” she said slowly.

“Didn’t you say pretending to be my girlfriend is more than your job?” Jane quoted her own words back at her.

So they were talking about that topic now. Lisbon sighed. She knew they had to address the elephant in the room sooner rather than later, but she had hoped to at least make it halfway through dinner before they started to work out the details of that particular plan.

“Yeah, about that,” she started, deciding she might as well get it out of the way now, “we should talk about how we want to do this.”

Jane looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, then smirked. “Do you want to practice, babe?” he asked, his voice low and teasing, leaning in close to her.

Lisbon blushed, but rolled her eyes. “Please, Jane, I need you to take this seriously.”

He straightened his back. “I am taking this seriously,” he assured her.

“Then what should we do?” Lisbon didn’t want to tell him how worried she was about having to pretend to be his girlfriend, but he noticed it anyway, in the way her shoulders grew tense, in the way her voice sounded worried and slightly agitated.

He glanced at her, then smiled reassuringly. “Don’t think about it; it’s the only thing that’ll work. Just act naturally, like you always act toward me, and you’ll be fine.”

“So I should just glare at you and punch you if you say something stupid?”

“Sure,” Jane agreed, “it’ll make us look like an old married couple.”

Lisbon swallowed. “Listen, Jane, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you –”

There suddenly was a sharp pain in her left index finger. She dropped the knife she had used to cut the potatoes into slices with a yelp. Blood was pouring out of a cut, but it didn’t look so deep that she needed stitches. Jane was by her side immediately, carefully taking her hand into his to look at the wound. As he did so, he touched the bracelet Pike had given her, and Lisbon realized with embarrassment that she had meant to leave it in her room.

“It’s not too deep,” Jane told her. “I’m gonna get some disinfectant and a band-aid. Just sit down.” He gestured toward a table next to the French doors that led outside to the swimming pool.

Lisbon sat down on one of the chairs there, careful not to spill blood on the floor or the table. The cut was burning and there was a dull throbbing shooting up and down her finger, which made her feel dizzy. Rain was still pouring down, pattering against the glass doors behind her. The white noise helped to distract her from the pain, but she still wished Jane would hurry up.

Then Jane was back, carrying a bottle of disinfectant and dressing material. He sat down next to Lisbon and took her hand in his again.

“Does it hurt much?” he asked with concern.

She shrugged. “It’s okay.” Then she inhaled sharply when he sprayed disinfectant on the wound.

He gave her a tissue to press against the cut while he tore open a package of bandages. She watched him cut off a piece, feeling how the tissue slowly soaked through with blood. Maybe she did need stitches after all. That would be a great beginning to this investigation. So maybe Pike had been right to never let her help in the kitchen.

“Come here,” Jane said quietly, taking her injured hand carefully into his.

Lisbon almost pulled the hand away again when he removed the tissue, but it didn’t hurt as much as she had expected. He regarded the cut thoughtfully, then wrapped a bandage around the finger. Lisbon watched him secure the bandage with an adhesive strip. She felt embarrassed, on the one hand because she had managed to injure herself not even twenty minutes after Jane had asked her to help in the kitchen, and on the other hand because he made such a fuss about it.

“Thanks,” she said, pulling her hand out of his grip, feeling herself blush. Her skin tingled where he had touched her, making her immediately long for the contact again.

Jane smiled at her. “No need to feel embarrassed. I almost lost a finger, too, while cooking.” He held up his left index finger to show her a thin, white scar she’d never noticed before. “It happens to the best of us.”

“Do you still want me to …?” she asked, nodding toward the kitchen.

“I think I can manage on my own, but thanks.” He stood up. “You can stay here if you want.”

Lisbon didn’t, so she stood up as well and followed him to the kitchen. She watched him finish peeling and slicing the potatoes, watched him arranged them in a small casserole dish, watched him wash and dry green beans, watched him spread them on a baking sheet, placing the slices of salmon between them, then watched him place everything in the oven. Lisbon liked watching Jane work with his hands, be it cooking or performing one of his card tricks. She wasn’t picky. His precise and careful movements had a calming effect on her; she could even forget the dull throbbing in her finger and the raging storm.

Only, it was growing quieter outside, as well as inside her. The weather matched her mood. It was still raining, but the thunderstorm had passed, and the wind wasn’t as forceful as before; it had turned from a full-blown hurricane to a light summer rain, which would leave the air refreshed and the plants well-watered.

There was nothing to occupy Jane’s hands now, so he washed them in the sink, dried them on a dishtowel, and turned around to face Lisbon. “And that’s how it’s done,” he said with a small bow. “How’s the finger?”

“It hurts,” she told him. She glanced at the bandage, which was, thankfully, still white. “But I don’t think I’ll need stitches.”

“Hm,” Jane made. Then, “You wanted to tell me something?”

“What?” Lisbon asked. “Oh, that! No, it was nothing. Nothing important.”

“You sure?” Jane asked.

“Yes,” Lisbon said firmly. The moment had passed. What she had wanted to say to him would have to wait until it felt right again to voice her concerns. Then she changed the topic. “I didn’t expect you to be like _this_.” She made a vague gesture with her uninjured hand.

“I’m good at reading minds, but you have to be a bit more precise than that.”

“So relaxed and … pleasant,” Lisbon clarified.

Jane raised his eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know,” Lisbon said with a non-committal shrug. “I was expecting you to be pushier.”

Jane smirked, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I think you might be confusing me with someone else.”

Lisbon didn’t know what to say to that, so she kept quiet.

Jane continued. “Of course I’m relaxed. We’re in Florida, the weather is nice – or will be again soon enough –, there’s food cooking in the oven, and you’re finally talking to me again.”

Jane made eye contact with her and Lisbon held his gaze. It should feel like he was challenging her, wanting her to defend herself, but it didn’t. He just looked relieved and happy and at ease, as if he was genuinely pleased by this development, and hadn’t meant his remark as criticism. And he looked at her with so much warmth in his eyes that she couldn’t bear it. She had to look away.

“This isn’t a holiday,” she reminded him, nervously fidgeting with her bracelet. “We’re working.”

“Eh,” Jane made, “that’s just a technicality.”

Lisbon opened her mouth to remind him again to, please, take this case seriously, but he continued.

“You look like you could use a drink.”

She looked at him again, a smile lighting up her face. “Don’t even think about making me a piña colada.”

Jane snorted. “Please, Lisbon, I know you better than that.” He got a beer from the fridge and handed it to her.

Before Lisbon could thank him, the oven's alarm made a piercing sound. Jane took out the fish and the sides, then they sat down at the table next to the French windows. The rain continued its steady drip, but the gloomy mood outside didn’t make its way inside, as they shared their meal, joking with each other, exchanging teasing remarks. They continued to talk to each other well into the night, until the last clouds had dissipated, and the stars were twinkling down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The car Jane drives is a 1953 Sunbeam Alpine Mk I, which is the car Grace Kelly drives in "To Catch a Thief", my favourite Hitchcock movie of all time. Incidentally, it's about a retired thief trying to catch an imposter (but it's set on the Côte d'Azur and not in Key West).


	4. Iced Champagne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You tell me,” Jane said, standing his ground even though his instincts told him to put some space between himself and Lisbon. “You’re not touching me, you’re not even looking at me. It’s no surprise Kris thought our relationship wasn’t going so well,” he continued. “I put in all the effort to make it look like we’re in love, and you just sat there, looking uncomfortable.” Lisbon’s eyes widened, a sign he was getting through to her. “You’re allowed to touch me, Lisbon, you know? Pike can’t see you. You need to stop thinking about him if this is supposed to work. Forget about him. He’s not here. I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the scene at the beginning just sort of happened. The chapter was supposed to start with them arriving at the restaurant, and it was only when I checked my outline afterwards that I realised I hadn't planned it.

Jane had chosen Lisbon’s wardrobe based on what she would never wear at work: long summer dresses, shorts, even the odd T-shirt. He wouldn’t go as far as choosing specific outfits for her, but he had made sure he was pushing her into a certain direction. She needed to look like a woman with taste, but with so much time on her hands she could spend an hour in the morning getting ready. He hoped the selection of clothes he had provided her with reflected this idea he had formed in his head of the character he wanted her to play.

When Lisbon came downstairs the next morning, already dressed for the lunch date they would have today with the leader of the group, Jane had to admit she exceeded his expectations. She had picked the turquoise, asymmetrical dress that was shorter in the front than in the back and had tied a slim brown belt around her waist. Her choice surprised him because it was one of the more un-Lisbon-like dresses he had picked, and he had expected her to wait a couple of days to venture into that particular section of the wardrobe. Her brown sandals matched the belt and tied the look together. The only accessory she had chosen was the bracelet Pike had given her, which didn’t go with the outfit, but looked expensive enough to give the impression they had money.

Jane now understood why Lisbon had stared at him the previous day when she had seen him at the airport. He was staring now, for the same reason. They almost never saw each other in clothes that weren’t dress pants and jackets, and the effect this sudden change had was unexpected, even for Jane. Lisbon looked like a completely different woman, and he was sure it would be easy for her to _pretend_ to be completely different as well. And her current outfit suited her much better than the dress she had worn the previous day. It was a lighter fabric, and she wouldn’t get hot quite so fast. Despite the dress not being her style, she looked much more comfortable in it than in the one she had picked herself, and Jane smiled, happy that he had made the right choice for her.

 _Choice_ … that word made him think of something else, made him think of how Lisbon had _chosen_ Pike over him. He had to remind himself she was Pike’s girlfriend, and no matter how much he wished this wasn’t the case, it was clear there was nothing he could do about it. No nice car, no nice house, no cozy, romantic dinner during a thunderstorm would convince her otherwise. Once Lisbon had made her choice, she stuck to it fiercely and loyally and would never change her mind, or at least not because Jane wanted her to. It didn’t matter that seeing her come down the stairs in the dress took his breath away or that the smile she gave him once she spotted him leaning against the bar set a kaleidoscope of butterflies loose in his stomach. All this was insignificant because she had chosen Pike. 

But then it dawned on him: She hadn’t done that, not really. It hadn’t been a choice. She had no idea what Jane felt for her – he had never been brave enough to tell her. Maybe she would have decided differently if he had confessed how he had thought about her every single day on that island in Venezuela, if he had confessed the only reason he had come back to the U.S. was to be with her again, if he had confessed how often he lay awake in the middle of the night, debating with himself whether he should call her and just _talk_ to her, tell her how he felt, that imagining he wouldn’t see her every day filled him with so much grief and yearning that it was unbearable to think about a time she wouldn’t be there anymore. But now it was too late. She was serious about Pike and Pike was serious about her, and he didn’t want to be in the way of that. This case in Florida was the only indulgence he allowed himself; once they got back, he would back off and let Lisbon be happy with Pike. But until then, there was no harm in pretending she was his girlfriend … he actually _had_ to pretend, which had been one of his cleverer ideas.

“Are you sure you want to go to lunch like this?” Lisbon asked him.

Jane was wearing his shorts again, but a different shirt, a light green one, nothing too flashy. He could tell, though, that she wasn’t talking about his outfit as a whole, but about the two buttons from the top of his shirt, which he had left open on purpose. “I’m a rich diamond thief, I can do whatever I want,” he told her with a smirk.

With a slight shake of her head, Lisbon reached up to straighten Jane’s collar. She had exchanged the bandage on her left index finger for a simple band aid, so the injury was getting better. That was the first thing he noticed. The second thing was how her hands were shaking when she touched the fabric of his shirt. She was nervous – but why? Was it because they were about to meet with a potentially dangerous criminal? Or was it because she was so close to him, touching him? The third thing he noticed was that she was avoiding eye contact. Her eyes were fixed on her own hands straightening the collar of his shirt. The fourth thing he noticed was that he should stop his thoughts from going into the direction they had suddenly taken.

 _She’s Pike’s girlfriend_ , he told himself again, _and she wants to be with him. Pull yourself together!_

Lisbon reached around to the back of his neck, her hands brushing the skin there, brushing against his hair. She was close to him, much closer than she had been when he had bandaged her finger the previous evening. She smelled like mango and calamus and there was a faint hint of the ocean. It made it hard for him to breathe, to focus his mind on anything other than her touch, her warmth, her breath on his neck. When she let her hands glide down to the buttons on his shirt, he decided to put an end to this.

“What are you? My mother?” he asked, catching hold of her wrists. The cool metal of the bracelet dug into his skin briefly, leaving a tiny mark. He took a step back and let go of her. “You look beautiful, by the way. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

It was enough to diffuse the tension in the room.

“Really?” she asked with a smile, looking down at her dress and shoes. “You think so?”

Jane smiled warmly at her. “I’m sure I’m not the only one who’ll think so.”

Lisbon’s smile vanished and Jane saw she swallowed hard.

“Don’t worry, Lisbon, just follow my lead.”

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” It was supposed to sound light-hearted, but the fact that she said it through gritted teeth made it sound as if she was angry with him. She sighed. “Sorry, I don’t know why this case is getting to me.”

Jane didn’t know either; he couldn’t read it in her body language or the sound of her voice. He had his suspicions though, and one part of it certainly was Pike and Lisbon’s fear she would go too far with Jane, even if they were just pretending. The other part was just a hopeless daydream, really, one in which Jane indulged from time to time, but which would never become reality. Lisbon didn’t feel this way about him, and he was fine with that, as long as she remained his friend.

“Shall we get it over with then?” he asked instead. “The sooner we leave, the sooner we’ll be done.”

Lisbon hesitated. “What about …,” she nodded at Jane, “you know, your ring? Our cover story doesn’t say anything about us being married.”

Jane glanced down at his left hand. He touched the cool gold band there with the thumb and index finger of his right hand, hesitating to take it off. Lisbon was right, of course, but it would take him a couple of seconds to overcome the deep sadness that always settled in his chest when he looked at that ring. Then Lisbon said something that made him flush with jealously. It was only twelve words, and he immediately felt embarrassed for feeling like this, but they made him realize how close he was to losing Lisbon for good.

“I can take the bracelet off, too, if you want me to.”

Without hesitation, Jane pulled off his wedding ring and dropped it into the pocket of his pants. “No, you should definitely leave it on. It’s expensive enough to make them think we really do have money.” Surely the bracelet couldn’t be the symbol of a promise she had made to Pike. Jane was eighty per cent sure she hadn’t even told him she loved him yet. But the way she kept touching the bracelet, unconsciously, just fidgeting with it whenever she let herself get too close to Jane, almost made him wish Lisbon was engaged to Pike. It would have given him some certainty at least.

Lisbon let go of the bracelet and nodded. “Do you have the diamonds?”

Jane pulled a small plastic bag out of his other pants pocket and showed it to Lisbon. It contained two small gemstones, both colorless, one seven carats, the other twenty-five, just enough to get them interested.

Jane pushed all thoughts of Pike to the back of his mind, hiding them in some dark, locked drawer in his memory palace, where he could pull them out at a later time to investigate them, and instead shifted into character.

He offered Lisbon his arm. “Come on, Teresa, let’s go make some new friends.”

* * *

Jane hadn’t told Lisbon how he had managed to get this lunch date with the leader of the group, and Lisbon hadn’t asked. Jane didn’t know if she had forgotten about it because of how overwhelming this case was for her or if she just didn’t care. He liked to believe she was just busy, because Lisbon always needed to know how his tricks worked.

They didn’t talk during the short car ride to the restaurant, which was located in the Casa Marina Area on the south side of the island, overlooking the ocean. It was possible to walk from the terrace of the restaurant right onto a small beach and into the water. All you had to do was jump over a narrow hedge. Jane hadn’t picked the location, but he had done extensive research and had even visited it the previous day, so he knew what to expect and could use this knowledge to his advantage, should the need arise.

He already knew that, when he opened the door and held it open for Lisbon, she would find a large room behind it, its walls covered with enlarged photographs of trees and beaches and the ocean. He knew the ceiling was paneled with dark wooden squares, he knew it matched the chairs around the tables. And he knew they had to walk straight through the dining area and onto the terrace, where their target would be waiting for them.

The person they were meeting with was a woman called Kristina George. The FBI suspected she was the mastermind behind the thefts. She and her husband Louis, the man who had been wearing the hideous watch in the surveillance photos, had founded the group. And it was up to Mrs. George to decide who would join it in future. Jane was sure his plan couldn’t fail. Lisbon and Mrs. George would bond over their pretentious and showy husbands/boyfriends, while Jane would turn on the charm. Between the bonding and his compliments, Mrs. George wouldn’t even notice that Lisbon wasn’t as smitten with Jane as he was with her. And she also wouldn’t notice that they kept a respectful, professional distance between them, not even sharing one kiss.

Jane and Lisbon walked arm in arm out to the terrace to meet Mrs. George. The restaurant was well-attended, it was a mix of tourists and locals, as Jane noticed with relief. It meant the food would be somewhat decent. After seeing the surveillance photos, he didn’t trust the diamond thieves when it came to taste. Every table on the terrace was occupied, despite it being a windy day, but the view over the blue ocean after a heavy storm was breathtaking, so it wasn’t surprising people wanted to sit outside.

Kristina George was no older than 33. She had long, blonde hair, which she wore in large, obviously fake waves. On her head sat a pair of huge sunglasses, a flashy accessory. She was wearing too much makeup for the time of day, which meant she liked to keep up appearances, no matter the cost. Like Lisbon, she was wearing a dress and it was the only thing that seemed to be genuinely her. It fitted her perfectly, and it made her look sophisticated, much more than her manicured nails and her gold jewelry and her dazzling smile.

Jane removed his arm from Lisbon’s grip when he spotted their target, and stepped forward, his right hand outstretched in front of him, a winning smile on his face. Mrs. George stood up when she saw them approach, seeming just as eager to meet them as Jane was to meet her.

“Mrs. George, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Jane said, shaking her hand enthusiastically.

“Please, call me Kris, Mrs. George makes me sound old,” Kris replied, gripping Jane’s hand firmly.

 _Vain, confident_ , Jane noted down in his mind before replying, “Only if you call me Patrick.” He winked. “You’re much prettier in person than you sound on the phone.” Next to him, Jane felt Lisbon stiffen. He didn’t know why; he was sure it was a good thing to say because it made Kris blush and giggle. _Easily flattered_ , he added to his list. Quickly, he put his left hand on the small of Lisbon’s back and pushed her forward with soft pressure. “This is my girlfriend, Teresa.”

Lisbon and Kris shook hands.

“I love your bracelet,” Kris said, her eyes on Lisbon’s left wrist. Her gaze reminded Jane of a magpie.

“Thanks, it was a gift from my boyfriend,” Lisbon replied, following Kris’s gaze.

“Ah,” Kris made, looking at Jane. Jane felt somewhat offended she should think he had such bad taste. “Shall we?”

She pointed at the table, and both Jane and Lisbon sat down. The wind picked up at this moment, ruffling the tablecloth, making the glasses clink together. With a gasp, Kris tried to hold on to the pair of sunglasses on her head. The wind also made Lisbon’s hair whip around her face, and when the gust weakened, she looked tousled. Jane couldn’t help but smile at her.

“Let me,” he said quietly, picking a strand of loose hair from her cheek and brushing it behind her ear.

The contact made her flinch at first, then blush. Jane hoped Kris didn’t see the apprehension in Lisbon’s eyes, didn’t notice she wasn’t entirely comfortable with the contact, hoped she interpreted Lisbon’s reddened cheeks as her being smitten with Jane.

In time, Lisbon remembered she was supposed to be in love with Jane. “Thanks, honey,” she said.

Jane smirked. They should have talked about pet names first before coming here. _Honey_ made it sound as if they had been married for the last 20 or so years.

“So, Patrick, Teresa,” Kris said slowly, propping up her elbows on the table, “tell me about yourselves.”

Before either of them could answer, a waiter approached their table to take their order.

Jane took this opportunity to ask in his most pretentious voice, “What’s the most expensive champagne you have?”

Lisbon snorted, but didn’t say anything. Jane decided to use her reaction to his advantage.

“We have something to celebrate after all,” he announced loud enough so the people at the tables around them could hear it as well.

“We have a very nice bottle of Dom Pérignon,” the waiter answered.

“We’ll have that then,” Jane told him. He took the waiter’s hand, moving a fifty-dollar bill from his hand to the waiter’s, much less smoothly than he would usually have done, but he needed Kris to notice it. “And make it snappy.”

Lisbon sighed. “Do you really want to drink champagne in this kind of weather?” she asked.

Jane knew there were many other things she would have liked to say instead. “We’ll get a bucket full of ice with it,” he answered, “just like in Monaco.”

“Oh, you’ve been to Monaco?” Kris asked. “I always wanted to go.”

“You’d love it there,” Jane told her. “The yachts, the casinos, the cars … a woman like you would fit right in.”

“It’s lovely,” Lisbon added. She was finally starting to follow Jane’s lead. “The Mediterranean looks beautiful at night.”

“Wasn’t it in Monaco where I got you that ring?” Jane asked, turning to Lisbon.

“What ring?” Lisbon looked at him confused.

“The Pink Star or whatever it’s called?” Jane clarified. He dismissively waved his hand, acting as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“You have the Pink Star?” Kris asked, her voice no more than a whisper.

“I … uh … gave it to Teresa as a gift,” Jane answered. He casually draped his arm across the back of Lisbon’s chair, and felt her stiffen again in response. “I think it was our three-year anniversary.”

“Can I see it?” Kris asked. Her voice was filled with awe. “Not now, obviously, but some other time?”

“Sure,” Lisbon replied with a shrug.

Then the waiter was back with their bottle of champagne. He put a bucket filled with ice next to their table, then proceeded to open the bottle. Jane considered briefly whether he should insist on doing it himself, but then decided he was already pushing his luck with his cockiness, at least for Lisbon’s taste.

Once they had finished toasting each other, Kris repeated, “So, tell me about yourselves.”

Jane took a sip from his champagne, then put the glass down on the table carefully and proceeded to stare at the ocean, acting as if he was trying to decide where to begin his story. He was doing it to keep his audience captivated, delaying the moment before he started to talk to make sure they (or, in this case, Kris) were on the edge of their seats.

“Teresa and I,” he finally said, “we’re both from the U.S. Teresa is from Chicago and I’m from … around. We started our career in Europe though. My parents used to take me to Italy as a child and I fell in love with it. I owe a lot to my parents, to my dad especially, for teaching me all sorts of tricks to, let’s call it, help me make money. And after meeting Teresa, I took her to Italy on holiday, one thing led to another, and suddenly we had 1.5 million dollars of stolen diamonds and jewelry in our possession.” Here, Jane smiled, letting himself bask in this fake memory. “It went well for a couple of years, we got good at it, but the authorities started to catch on these last couple of months, so we decided to leave Europe for a year or two until things calm down again.”

“Honestly, I was surprised when you contacted me,” Kris said. “I didn’t know people in Europe are familiar with our work.”

“You’re sort of our role models,” Jane said with a smirk.

Lisbon kicked him under the table, and she was right to do it. He was pushing his luck. As a response, he moved his chair closer to hers.

Kris blushed again. “I have to ask,” she said. “When the Sancy Diamond went missing from the Louvre, was that you?”

“It sure was,” Jane replied with a wink.

“Wow,” Kris made. “Then why do you want to work with us? You’re much more successful than we’ll ever be.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Jane took another sip of his champagne, adding a pause for dramatic effect. “We heard rumors about a certain _very_ valuable blue diamond going missing just a couple of days ago.”

“And you think it was us?”

Jane nodded once.

Kris smiled at him secretively. Then she turned to Lisbon. “And what about you, Teresa? Tell me how you met Patrick.”

Jane glanced at Lisbon, who hadn’t expected to be spoken to and wasn’t prepared. He wished he could tell her to do something, _anything_ to make Kris believe they were a couple. Turning to Jane and smiling at him, maybe lightly touching his arm would have been enough. Instead, she kept her eyes fixed on Kris, and her hands folded on her lap.

“We met at work,” she answered slowly. Jane had the feeling she was unsure how the story should go and he regretted not having talked to her about this before putting her into this situation. “My mom used to work at Christie’s, and I used to be her assistant. And one day, Patrick attended one of the auctions.” She blushed and threw a nervous glance at Jane, who nodded encouragingly. “I didn’t know how he earned his money, of course, or I would never have let him take me out on a date.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Jane said with a smirk. “I can be very convincing.” He put an arm around Lisbon and Lisbon flinched at first, but then leaned into his touch.

Kris had noticed though. “And what happened after your date?” she asked, her eyes narrowed slightly.

“It’s all a bit of a blur, really,” Lisbon answered. She cleared her throat nervously. “When Patrick told me he was a thief, I wanted to break up with him, but he asked me to come on one last holiday to Europe with him to show me I had nothing to worry about. If I still felt like leaving after that, he wouldn’t stop me.”

Jane squeezed Lisbon’s shoulder. “She took one look at the diamonds and decided it was worth it.”

“You stayed because of the diamonds?” Kris wanted to know.

Lisbon shook her head. “No, of course not. He’s just messing with you. I stayed because of him.”

Jane waited for her to add a couple of reasons for her decision, but Lisbon didn’t elaborate. So he decided to do it for her. “Once Teresa realized what we could achieve working as a team, and once she got a taste of the life I could offer her, she didn’t mind the other things so much, like the lying and the scams.” He smiled at Kris. “It’s all about team work. It’s about having someone you can trust with your life.”

“Hm,” Kris made. She bit her bottom lip thoughtfully. “What are your plans here in the U.S. then?”

“We were hoping we could join your group,” Jane answered without hesitation. “I think there is a lot we can learn from each other.”

Kris sighed deeply. “Let me be honest with you, Patrick. I’m sure you’re aware of the requirements we have when it comes to accepting new members. I really like you, both of you, it’s not that, but I’m not sure you and Teresa are at a very good place in your relationship right now. Accepting you as members might be more risky than beneficial for us. I hope you can understand that.”

Jane’s brain was running at full speed. He hadn’t anticipated Kris to reject them so openly after talking to them for not even an hour. This simply couldn’t be it. He refused to admit defeat after not even twenty-four hours in Florida. With Lisbon. Who, knowing her, would definitely blame herself for ruining the case. Which she shouldn’t. It was mostly Jane’s fault for putting too much preparation into his own character and not enough into his relationship with Lisbon.

Jane smiled at Kris. “All I’m asking is that you don’t reject us immediately. Take your time, think about it for a day or two.” He put his hand into his pants pocket and pulled out the bag with the two diamonds. Holding it up, he said, “We brought you these as a small gift.” He reached across the table and put the bag down in front of Kris. “We would really like to meet with you again.”

Kris sighed again. She picked up the bag and looked at the two gemstones, then stowed them away in her handbag. “All right, I will think about it,” she agreed, “but please don’t be offended. We reject a lot of people. Most relationships aren’t as strong as we need them to be.”

As soon as they were back in the car, Lisbon sighed deeply. “I’m sorry,” she said, sounding tense and frustrated and angry. “This is my fault. I’m gonna call Abbott and tell him we’re coming home.”

Jane had anticipated such a reaction and was prepared to cheer Lisbon up. “Don’t give up so easily, Lisbon,” he told her with a smirk. “That’s not like you.” He started the car, deciding it would be best for them to go straight back home where they could discuss the case in private.

Another sigh. Lisbon’s hands lay on her lap, curled into fists. “Didn’t you hear her? They don’t want us in their group.”

“Kris liked us, didn’t she?” Jane reminded Lisbon. “I’m sure I can convince her to give us another chance.”

Lisbon stared out of the car at the white houses, the green bushes, the palm trees, her shoulders slumped in defeat. It was a picture entirely at odds with the scenery around her and made Jane wish he could reach out and touch her back, squeeze her arm, stroke her thigh reassuringly. But such a behavior was definitely out of the question.

“It’s no use.” Lisbon’s voice was so quiet that Jane had trouble hearing her over the airflow. “I’m gonna mess it up again.”

“No, you won’t,” Jane said emphatically. “This is mostly my fault, no matter what you think. You wanted to talk to me about how we should act, and I ignored you. I should have told you what I wanted from you from the beginning, but I focused too much on myself and not enough on our relationship.” He was talking about the case, Lisbon couldn’t interpret it any other way, but he still hoped she would catch on to the double meaning, at least subconsciously.

“Wait.” Lisbon turned to him. Jane’s heart almost jumped out of his chest. “Are you saying you actually had a plan and you didn’t discuss it with me?”

“Eh.” Jane shrugged, disappointed and relieved at the same time that she hadn’t understood what he had tried to tell her. “It was more an idea, really. I had hoped you would bond with Kris because she, too, has a boyfriend who is pompous and annoying.”

“Pike isn’t like that at all,” Lisbon said immediately.

“I wasn’t talking about _Pike_ ,” Jane spat, unable to keep the disdain he felt for the other man out of his voice. “I’m talking about me. Why do you think i was acting like an ass?”

“Were you?” Lisbon asked.

“Oh, come on, I know you wanted to punch me after I told the waiter to _make it snappy_.”

Lisbon sighed again and turned away. “Next time you should just tell me what you’re doing. I can’t read minds.”

Now it was Jane’s turn to sigh. They had reached their house and as he was parking the car, he mumbled, “Maybe I’ve misjudged how well this will work. I was relying too much on us knowing each other and being comfortable with each other.”

Lisbon got out of the car, not looking at Jane, and stormed past him to the front door. Jane followed her, not sure if she had misunderstood what he had been trying to say or if she was angry in general. When they were both inside the house with the front door closed behind them, Jane found out which one it was.

“Yeah, well,” Lisbon said, turning to him with an exasperated sigh, “maybe things change. You left for two years, and when you came back you insisted everything would go back to normal. That’s just not possible. You weren’t the only one who changed. I did too.”

Just like they never talked about Pike, they also never discussed Jane’s two years of absence. They had come to a quiet, mutual understand where this topic was concerned. To Jane it felt like a small betrayal that Lisbon would bring it up so casually in the middle of a fight.

“The only thing that’s changed is that you keep putting up barriers,” he pointed out. “And not because I was gone for two years.”

Lisbon took a step closer to him, glaring, fuming, now angrier with Jane than with herself. “Why am I doing it then?”

“You tell me,” Jane said, standing his ground even though his instincts told him to put some space between himself and Lisbon. “You’re not touching me, you’re not even looking at me. It’s no surprise Kris thought our relationship wasn’t going so well,” he continued. “I put in all the effort to make it look like we’re in love, and you just sat there, looking uncomfortable.” Lisbon’s eyes widened, a sign he was getting through to her. “You’re allowed to touch me, Lisbon, you know? Pike can’t see you. You need to stop thinking about him if this is supposed to work. Forget about him. He’s not here. I am.”

Lisbon’s eyes narrowed again. She took a step back. “I’ll be in my room,” she announced and walked away.

Jane realized he had made a mistake. It was true, she was holding back because she was worried about Pike, but she didn’t want to hear it said out loud. He had touched a sore spot by bringing Pike into the discussion. There was no excuse for it, other than his jealousy, which had gotten the better of him. He had hoped Lisbon would be able to relax and stop treating him coldly if she came to Key West with him. It had worked for a day, but now she was back to shutting him out. And it wasn’t just about Jane’s personal feelings, there was also the case to think about. A case that relied entirely on them being close to each other.

Jane knew he should follow Lisbon upstairs to try and fix things with her, but instead he walked to one of the living rooms, lay down on the couch, and closed his eyes.

* * *

It was evening. The soft light of the setting sun illuminated the wooden floor in Lisbon’s room, painting it a vibrant, red-brown color. The French doors stood open, so the warm evening breeze could come in, as well as the sounds of sea gulls in the distance, and the salty smell of the nearby ocean.

No matter how hard Lisbon tried, she couldn’t come up with a more romantic setting. She stood leaning on the balustrade, looking down at the swimming pool and the green garden, breathing in the warm, humid air. She thought about Pike, and if she would be happy with him here. He would stand next to her, his hand engulfing hers, his fingers stroking hers, then he would pull her close, kiss her, tell her he had made reservations in a nice restaurant and he would wait for her downstairs while she got ready. She would feel flattered, return his kiss, squeeze his hand. The prospect of watching a romantic sunset with her boyfriend, of spending a romantic evening with him, should make her feel giddy with happiness, but no matter how hard she tried, this vision only made her feel indifferent.

It was Jane’s fault, of course, it had to be. She was still upset because of the fight they had had earlier, and it made it hard for her to concentrate on romantic thoughts. But thinking of Jane led her to replacing Pike with him in her mind, and suddenly looking at the sunset had a different connotation for her. Imagining Jane standing right next to her, holding her hand, pulling her close for a kiss definitely made her feel … _something_.

She inhaled sharply and turned her back on the sunset, refusing to pursue these thoughts and feelings any further. If she started to think like this, the case would get even more complicated than it already was. It went against her notions of professionalism to let herself be engulfed by the warm feeling that thinking of kissing Jane invoked in her. Also, she had a boyfriend, and she definitely should not spend her time thinking about kissing other men.

Lisbon closed the French doors behind her and let herself fall down onto the bed. The light of the sunset was still there, she couldn’t ignore it, as was a feeling in her chest that made her palms grow sweaty and her heart beat faster. She imagined she had a stick with which she carefully prodded that feeling, trying to determine if that would make it change. It didn’t. It was still there. She dropped the imaginary stick and extended a hand toward the feeling, which had taken the shape and look of a semi-liquid ball the color of the sunset. When she touched it, her hand began to tingle, and her heart began to beat loud and fast against the restraints of her rib cage. Just for a short moment she went back to the terrace, to the image of Jane beside her, to his hand on the small of her back, his lips on hers, careful at first, just a light touch. It would turn into more quickly, into moans and bites and tongues exploring every corner, into hands pulling close, holding on, gripping tight.

But before Lisbon could finish the thought (or stop herself from finishing it), she was interrupted by her phone ringing. Her first thought was of Jane, but then she remembered there was no reason for him to call her, they lived in the same house. She sat up, cleared her throat, and shook her head, the last images of her and Jane turning into dust, before she checked the caller ID.

It was Pike.

She cleared her throat again, then picked up. “Hi,” she said carefully.

“Hi, honey,” he said. “How are you?”

“Fine,” Lisbon told him, running her hand through her hair in an effort to calm herself down.

“Am I interrupting something important?” Pike asked.

“No, no,” Lisbon assured him quickly. “I’m glad you called.”

“So.” Pike took a deep breath, she could hear it clearly. “How’s things? Are you making progress on the case?”

Lisbon bit her bottom lip, considering whether she should lie to Pike. She had no idea how he would react if she told him they were failing after just a day, and just because of her. Keeping this to herself seemed tempting. But then she decided to tell him the truth, decided to trust him not to put her down. “No, not really,” she said with a sigh. “I’m not sure we still even have a case.”

“What happened?” Pike sounded concerned, but the sound of a voice could be deceptive. Lisbon wished she could see his face.

After a moment of hesitation, she said, “I messed it up.”

“I’m sure you didn’t,” Pike replied immediately.

Despite herself, Lisbon had to smile. His conviction took the sting out of her disappointment with herself. Still, she insisted, “No, I did.” Then she proceeded to tell him everything: how she had been too nervous and unsure, how their target had seen right through them, and how Jane had tried to save the situation by asking for a second chance.

When she had finished, Pike made, “Hm,” thoughtfully, before adding, “I don’t think it’s your fault. And I’m sure you’ll get a second chance.”

Lisbon laughed drily. “So I can embarrass myself again?”

“I’m sure you won’t.” There was a brief pause and Lisbon could feel there was something else he wanted to say, so she waited for him to say it. “What does Jane think?”

For a moment, Lisbon was surprised Pike would mention Jane so casually without a hint of jealousy in his voice, without any quiet anger. He seemed to be genuinely curious what Jane’s opinion was on the matter. “He also thinks it wasn’t my fault,” Lisbon answered, “at least not entirely. And he’s convinced we’ll get a second chance.”

“See?” There was another pause. “So … how’s the whole pretending to be his girlfriend thing working out for you?”

Lisbon was confused. Hadn’t Pike listened to her story? She had told him it wasn’t going well. Or maybe he just wanted to be cruel. She was shocked to discover she wouldn’t put it past him. “Not very well,” she answered slowly, “that’s why we’re having problems with the case.”

“What are you doing?” Pike wanted to know, confusing her even more.

“What? Right now?” she asked in return. “I’m in my room, I have no idea where Jane is.”

“No, I mean what are you doing to convince the diamond thieves you’re a couple?”

Lisbon furrowed her brows even though she knew Pike couldn’t see her. “Didn’t you listen to my story? That’s the whole problem. I wasn’t convincing enough.”

“But what did you do? Like specifically? Did you hold hands or what?”

“Listen, if you’re trying to lure me into another fight about Jane, forget it.”

She heard Pike laugh at the other end of the line. “I’m not trying to do that, I’m trying to help you,” he told her. “Maybe we can come up with a couple of things you could do.”

Lisbon thought it was suspicious that Pike suddenly wanted to help her, but she decided to accept his help. “All right … I didn’t do anything,” she told him. “Jane, he tried to act like my boyfriend, he put his arm around me, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything in return.”

“Why not?”

She suddenly regretted having told Pike about her problems. This conversation made her feel uncomfortable. Pike wasn’t the person she should discuss this issue with, it was Jane. Talking to her boyfriend about it somehow felt like a violation of trust and she wanted to end this conversation fast. “I don’t know.”

“Is it because you worry about what I might think?” Pike probed.

“Maybe …,” Lisbon answered hesitantly. It certainly was one of the reasons, but definitely not the main one. Pike, however, didn’t need to know that.

“Listen,” Pike started, “you probably don’t want to hear this, but it makes me very happy. I’m sorry your case isn’t going as planned, but I have to tell you I’m relieved. It shows me you do care about our relationship after all.”

Her gut feeling had been right after all. Pike didn’t want to help her, he just wanted to be reassured (again) that there was nothing going on between her and Jane. Briefly, Lisbon thought about making something up or telling him how she had cut herself and he had bandaged her finger, just to get a rise out of him, but then decided against it. She didn’t want to have another fight today.

Pike went on. “I don’t want you to fail, of course I don’t, but the sooner this case is over, the sooner you’ll be back in Austin. To me, it doesn’t matter if it’s because you failed or because you were successful.”

Lisbon swallowed hard. “Well, it matters to me.”

“Yeah, I know.” Pike sounded as if he regretted having been so honest. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Let’s not fight, okay?”

“I’m not trying to.”

They were quiet for a moment, before Lisbon continued. “Listen, it’s late. I have to be up early tomorrow. We need to talk about how we’re going to proceed with this case. I should really try to get some sleep.”

“All right, I won’t keep you,” Pike replied. “Sleep tight. I love you.”

“Good night, Marcus,” Lisbon said and hung up.

Pike wasn’t interested in their case, he just wanted to make sure she didn’t do anything with Jane she shouldn’t be doing. His mistrust hurt her. And it made her feel alone. She couldn’t talk to Pike about it because he would just get angry with her again, and she couldn’t talk to Jane about it because she had no idea where to start. In the end, she decided to have a quick shower and then try to sleep, not wanting to spend another minute thinking about this topic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited for you guys to read the next two chapters! Things are gonna get ... interesting.


	5. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What about kissing?” Jane asked. She opened her mouth to protest, so he quickly went on. “I know you said no kissing, but I’m not talking about making out. I was thinking about kissing your cheek, that’s all. Or you could kiss mine if it makes you more comfortable.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished writing this chapter a couple of days ago, and there's really no point in not posting it now, not after I've gotten so many messages from people asking for a quick update. But I have to warn you, I haven't watched a single "Mentalist" episode in weeks, at this point I just retain a very hazy memory of what the show is like, instead I get my inspiration from five year old song spoof videos on YouTube and it shows. This chapter basically has 10,000 words, I did warn you guys in the beginning that it might come to this. I'm sorry for making you read all this, please take your time, I haven't written any more of this fic, so I can't even promise you I'll update it quickly.

They needed to talk, that much was obvious. What about and how to start the conversation wasn’t as easily determined. All Jane knew was he had to apologize for his outburst the previous day. If Lisbon still wanted to talk to him. He felt anxious and nervous waiting for her in the kitchen the next morning, half expecting her to come downstairs with her packed carry-on bag in one hand and a plane ticket in the other.

Her steps on the staircase sounded hesitant. When Jane heard her coming, he turned his back on the part of the kitchen where she would appear and pretended to be busy making tea. If nothing else, it would at least give her a chance to laugh at his habit of drinking tea, even in this weather.

“Hi,” Lisbon said, her voice devoid of any kind of emotion.

Jane couldn’t tell how she was feeling, and he was hesitant to turn around and face her, scared his concerns about her leaving would come true.

“Morning,” he replied.

He turned around slowly to find her standing a few feet away from the bar. She was wearing a plain white T-shirt and dark linen pants, no suitcase in sight. Her hair was up in a ponytail, her arms were wrapped around her body, hugging herself tightly, and she looked at him with apprehension and nervousness, but she was _looking_ at him, and that was good enough.

There was so much he could say to ease their way into the conversation. _Did you sleep well? How are you feeling? Do you want coffee?_ But it would only delay the inevitable, so he opted straight for his apology.

“I’m very sorry about yesterday,” he said. “I didn’t mean to bring Pike into the discussion.”

“But you were right,” Lisbon said slowly. “He is part of the problem. I should be the one apologizing. I’m having trouble keeping my professional and my private life apart.”

“I can understand that,” Jane assured her. “That’s why I’m sorry for mixing up the two.”

“Listen, Jane,” she said slowly, and he froze right up. This was it. She was about to tell him she wanted to go back to Austin. “Two days ago, before I cut myself, there was something I wanted to tell you.”

He remembered. He remembered how he had asked her about it afterwards and she had told him it hadn’t been important. The way she looked at him now, her eyes big yet clouded, her knuckles white from the strain of digging her fingernails into her own skin, her shoulders tense, he knew it was very important to her, whatever it was.

“I _am_ worried about Marcus, of course I am, but you’re right. He isn’t here and he can’t see me and if something should happen, then I’m under no obligation to tell him about it,” Lisbon continued. She inhaled shakily. “And anyway, I’m not that worried about him. I’m worried about you.”

“Me?” Jane echoed.

“Well, us,” Lisbon clarified. “I’m scared that I’ll do something … I don’t know … I think I’ve never told you how important you are to me.”

Jane felt his hands grow cold with fear. He took a few steps toward Lisbon but kept the bar between them. “Lisbon, what’s going on?” he asked softly.

Lisbon inhaled sharply again and Jane could hear a small sob making its way out of her throat to the surface. “I’m just so scared,” she repeated. “I’ve never told you this, I don’t know why, I didn’t think there would be a need to say it out loud, but I guess there is now. Jane …,” she brushed her hand against her cheek to wipe away a tear and Jane pretended not to notice, “you’re my best friend. You mean more to me than I can say. And that’s why I’m so scared of ruining what we have. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, I don’t want to risk it, not for a case, not for anything.” She sobbed. “And I’m scared that I’ll do something or say something and that it’ll change things between us and suddenly you won’t want to …”

Jane didn’t let her finish the sentence. Instead he closed the distance between them, pulled Lisbon to him, and hugged her tightly, softly stroking her hair. “Hey,” he said quietly, while she let herself be held by him, her whole body rigid.

He couldn’t believe she had said those words. Not only had she called him her best friend, she had also admitted she was scared of ruining their friendship. Teresa Lisbon, the best, kindest, most virtuous person he knew, scared of doing something that would push _him_ away, of all people. Her confession had touched him deeply. He had no idea where this was coming from all of a sudden, and he had no idea what to do with this information, but he knew how to comfort her.

“Lisbon, there is no need for you to feel scared,” he said slowly, still hugging her, still stroking her hair. “Nothing you do could ever make me hate you. And nothing could ever make me stop wanting to be your friend.”

“Not even … I don’t know,” she mumbled.

“What?” he asked.

She freed herself from his embrace and took a step back. “What if I can’t distinguish truth from fiction? What if I get so invested in my character that I think you really are my boyfriend?”

Jane smiled at her. “That would be completely normal.” He hesitated briefly. “Is that the reason why you’re having trouble? Are you scared you won’t know where to draw the line?”

Lisbon nodded slowly. He was only now beginning to understand the full extent of what she was going through and he just wished she had talked to him sooner so he would have been able to help her with this.

“It won’t happen,” Jane told her, his voice full of conviction. “You’re smart, you’re professional, you know where to draw the line. And I won’t let you do anything you might regret. Or I might regret. All you have to do is what feels right.”

Lisbon smiled sadly at him and he felt there was still something she wasn’t telling him, but he didn’t want to push her, not now that she was finally opening up to him. “Isn’t it too late for that? I was so stuck in my own head that I ruined the case.”

Jane smirked. “Don’t worry, I have a plan.”

“What kind of plan?” Lisbon wanted to know, slowly returning to her old self.

“Maybe we could discuss it someplace more comfortable,” Jane suggested. He nodded toward the garden. “We have all the time in the world. There are some nice loungers out there. I’ll make you some coffee, and then we can sit down and talk about it.”

Lisbon agreed, then went to the French doors and pushed them open. She stepped outside, paused for a moment, breathing in the morning air, which was already turning into the thick, humid blanket they were slowly getting used to. Jane watched her walk toward the loungers, which were standing beneath the small garden pavilion to the left side of the pool, drag one into the morning sun, and sit down, her legs drawn up to her chest, her arms wound tightly around them. Then he turned to the coffee machine, proceeding to fulfill the promise he had made.

All the while, his hands were shaking. What Lisbon had said meant the world to him. He had always known she cared about him, but that she would actually consider him to be her best friend surprised him. And he wasn’t easily surprised. In fact, the only person who managed to do that on a regular basis _was_ Lisbon, but never like this before. Despite what she might think, nothing would ever be able to ruin their friendship, not even Pike. And definitely not Lisbon thinking Jane was her boyfriend. Besides this being his greatest wish, he also knew it was an illusion because she didn’t feel this way about him, so if she started to display signs of being smitten with him outside of the case, he would put a stop to it immediately because it would mean she was about to do something she would regret later.

Even though he still felt unsteady on his feet, Jane managed to make a cup of coffee and a cup of tea without breaking anything, then walked out onto the terrace himself, joining Lisbon. He handed her both cups, then got a lounger for himself, put it next to hers, sat down, and took his cup from Lisbon. Lisbon was now sitting cross-legged but still facing the pool, he had both feet firmly on the ground, his elbows propped up on his knees, facing her.

“So, what’s this plan of yours?” Lisbon asked finally, watching the leaves of the trees on the other side of the pool sway in a soft breeze.

“You know you’re my best friend too, right?” Jane said quietly. “I’m not sure if I ever told you but,” he took a deep breath, not daring to look at Lisbon directly and instead focusing on his cup of tea, “you’re the main reason why I came back to the U.S.”

Lisbon blushed. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not.” He smirked. It was just like her to think she wasn’t important enough to be missed. “You were my number one demand.”

“And aren’t you scared you’ll ruin this friendship?” Lisbon asked quietly. “I know we both like to pretend that it’s just like it used to be back in California, but it’s not.”

Jane thought about jokingly playing it off as if it wasn’t a big deal, but he knew this was too important to take it lightly. “I know I’ve done things I’m not proud of, things that made you reconsider our relationship, professionally and privately. I shut you out, I pushed you away, I used you.” He grimaced. “And yet you stayed, and you forgave me over and over again. I’m not saying you’re gonna endure everything I throw at you, and maybe I have a false sense of security, but I know you’ll forgive me almost anything. Not that you should,” he added quickly. “I’m just saying it shows you’re a good person. And someone as good as you could never do something so badly that someone like me wouldn’t want to be friends with you anymore.”

Lisbon shuddered, despite the warm air engulfing them. “I’m not the saint you make me out to be. I make mistakes too.”

“If you’re still talking about the case, it’s not a big deal,” Jane said quickly. “I told you I have a plan.”

Lisbon looked at him, and he realized she wasn’t talking about the case. Again, he saw there was something she wasn’t telling him, but he, again, didn’t want to press the matter. He was glad he had brought the case into this because it gave her a way out if she didn’t want to tell him what was bothering her.

“Yes, let’s talk about your plan,” she said finally.

Jane nodded. She had already opened up to him more than she had done in years, more than ever probably, and she needed a break from her emotions. A case was the best way to deal with this. “We need to bring them here.” He made a vague gesture to encompass the house and the garden. 

“How do you mean?” Lisbon asked.

“I think it would help you to be in an environment you’re familiar with,” Jane elaborated. “You’ll feel at ease knowing where all the exits are.” He smiled because she looked at him with an air of offence in her gaze. “I’m just saying, it’ll be good for you to be in a place where you can just take some time out to sit in your room.”

“I can’t just leave when we’re having dinner with another couple,” Lisbon pointed out.

“Ah, but that’s the other part of my plan,” Jane said with an air of drama. “It won’t be dinner. I was thinking we could host a party.”

“I don’t know, Jane,” Lisbon started.

“Don’t you see, it’s perfect,” Jane continued. “There’ll be lots of people around, we’re not constantly in the spotlight, and if you need a break, you can leave for a couple of minutes without it looking suspicious. Also, we have such a nice house, it’ll be a shame to let it go to waste.”

“What sort of party are we talking about?”

“Nothing too fancy, just a casual get-together for an afternoon or so,” Jane explained. “But it might get them to trust us if they see we have a fancy house and everything.”

“You already invited them, didn’t you?” Lisbon asked.

Jane smiled. Lisbon might still surprise him, even after all these years, but he had to realize he couldn’t surprise her anymore. “Yeah, I did,” he confessed. “Yesterday, while you were up in your room.”

“So, this isn’t really a discussion,” Lisbon observed. “You’re just informing me we’ll have to host a party soon.”

“If you don’t want to do it, I can still cancel,” Jane said quickly.

“No.” Lisbon shook her head. “It’s fine. It’s a good idea.”

“But there’s something else we should discuss,” Jane added. “I know it might be a sensitive topic, but we should talk about what you feel comfortable doing. And what you want me to do. When we’re around Kris and the others, I mean.”

“What would you like to do?” Lisbon asked.

“It depends on what you’re comfortable with,” Jane said with emphasis. “This is the most important thing if we want this to work.”

Lisbon bit her bottom lip. “What you did yesterday was all right,” she said slowly. “So if you want to put your arm around me, I’m fine with that.”

Jane nodded. “What else?”

“Well, you can call me _honey_ or something similar, of course,” Lisbon went on.

“No, I meant on a physical level,” Jane clarified. “It’s all about small cues. It needs to look effortlessly.”

“We can hold hands,” Lisbon said, blushing.

Jane had to smile. It sounded as if they were teenagers, and Jane was her first boyfriend, so she was still hesitant to let him go too far. “I don’t think that’s the best we can do,” he told her. “I was thinking about sharing a seat, sharing inside jokes, sharing food.”

“I’ll try,” Lisbon said with determination. “I promise I’ll do my best to get out of my head, so it doesn’t look as if I don’t actually want to be with you.”

“What about kissing?” Jane asked. She opened her mouth to protest, so he quickly went on. “I know you said no kissing, but I’m not talking about making out. I was thinking about kissing your cheek, that’s all. Or you could kiss mine if it makes you more comfortable.”

“No,” Lisbon said with emphasis.

“Oh, come on, Lisbon, a kiss on the cheek doesn’t mean anything. Friends kiss each other on the cheek all the time.”

“Yeah, in Europe perhaps,” Lisbon pointed out.

“Didn’t we live in Europe for years?” Jane asked with a smirk.

“Look, Jane,” Lisbon said in her best impression of a strict boss, a remnant of her years at the CBI, “it’s not that I don’t _want_ to kiss you … I can’t.”

Jane looked at her in surprise. “So you want to kiss me?” he repeated. Had she really just said that? Or was it just wishful thinking on his part?

“That’s not what I was saying,” Lisbon backtracked.

“What were you saying then?” Jane wouldn’t let Lisbon off so easily.

“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “Stop confusing me!”

“ _I’m_ confusing _you_?” He laughed once, short bark.

“This is exactly what I was talking about. We can’t distinguish fact from fiction anymore.”

“Well, I can. I’m not asking you to kiss me right now, I’m asking you to give me a peck on the cheek when I get you something to drink at the party, so Kris will see it. Or the other way around. It doesn’t make a difference to me, as long as you’re comfortable with it.”

Lisbon sighed deeply and looked at the calm water of the pool. “All right, let’s do it,” she said finally after half an eternity. “We can hold hands, I will stay close to you and not look uncomfortable when you touch me, and I will let you give me a kiss on the cheek.”

“It sounds very clinical when you say it like that.”

“Don’t push your luck,” she told him, a warning in her voice.

But all he could think of her saying, “It’s not that I don’t _want_ to kiss you … I can’t.”

* * *

Five days later, on a Saturday, Lisbon was upstairs in her room getting dressed. It was early in the afternoon on another hot summer’s day. From downstairs, she could hear the sounds of the caterers putting up a buffet. Jane (or rather the FBI) had spared no expense. They were expecting around 20 people, a small number, but Jane wanted to make an impression.

So did Lisbon. She had promised herself that, this time, she would get it right. She would put a lot of effort into acting like she was in love with Jane, and while she mapped out a plan how she would do this, she tried to ignore the voice at the back of her head telling her she wouldn’t need to _act_. But it needed to be an act, there was no way she could allow this to be anything more, no matter how much she had thought about it during the last couple of days. If she wanted this deception to work, she had to not only deceive Kris and the others, but also herself.

That didn’t stop her thoughts from wandering to Jane though, who was getting dressed in the room next to hers. It would be different this time, they had talked about how they would handle it, she knew what to expect. There was no reason to feel this nervous, no reason to be this anxious, no reason to worry about what she would feel when she saw Jane in a couple of minutes. It was best to take the whole afternoon one step at a time, and the step she needed to complete right now was to button up the jumpsuit she had chosen to wear, even though her hands were trembling.

Before she went downstairs to face Jane and this afternoon, she promised herself that, once this day was over, she would sit down and have a long talk with herself during which she would decide whether to talk to Jane about the feelings she had for him and which she no longer could ignore or if she would soldier on and lock them away deep down, so that she would be able to return to Pike in two weeks and act like nothing had happened. All she had to do was get through this party without embarrassing herself in front of Jane.

He was already waiting for her downstairs, next to a small buffet the caterers had set up for them outside between the pool and the French doors that led to the kitchen. Lisbon was relieved to see he didn’t wear shorts, an item of clothing he had become too comfortable with since arriving in Key West. Instead, he wore a light-grey suit over an off-white shirt, which made him look like himself and confused her momentarily, until he spotted her, smiled at her, and called her “Teresa”.

“Are they here yet?” Lisbon asked over the sound of her heart racing in her chest. She nervously fidgeted with her bracelet, looking over her shoulder at the kitchen.

Her question was answered by the sound of the doorbell. Jane told her to wait in the garden, while he rushed off to welcome their guests, and Lisbon had time to take a couple of deep breaths.

When Jane returned with Kris and two men (one of whom she recognized as Kris’ husband Louis), she was as relaxed as she could be. Jane introduced them (the other man was Kris’ brother Gabriel), and then he left Lisbon with their guests when the doorbell sounded again. Kris was wearing another dress, a different one than four days ago, Lisbon noticed. A woman like Kris would never wear the same dress twice if she could avoid it. This one was black with white flowers, rather short but flared, and together with the black sun hat she had on her head, it made her look like a member of the British Royal Family. Her husband, Louis, was wearing dark shorts and a dark shirt, his brown hair was unkept, and he hadn’t shaved. He seemed to be the opposite of his wife who put a lot of effort into her look.

Lisbon watched as the garden filled slowly, while Kris complimented the house and Lisbon’s outfit. Louis, on the other hand, wrinkled his nose at the size of the pool and told Lisbon the pool at their own house was much bigger, which she acknowledged with a shrug. Then Louis and Gabriel went off to have a closer look at the buffet, leaving Lisbon and Kris to talk in private.

“So this party was your idea?” Kris asked, just as Jane rejoined them.

His cheeks were flushed from running from the garden to the front door several times in this hot weather, and he had unbuttoned his jacket. “Yes, Teresa did all the planning,” he answered instead of Lisbon, and threw her a meaningful glance. Then he excused himself again, leaving Lisbon to go into the details of why she had chosen which food for the buffet.

Once she was done explaining her reasons for picking strawberry cheesecake and tiramisu but not Key lime pie for dessert, for which she had to make up a citrus allergy, Lisbon turned to Kris and said, “I’m sorry about lunch the other day.”

“Sorry?” Kris echoed.

“Yes, I was preoccupied with an urgent family matter, and I might have come across as a bit cold toward you,” Lisbon explained. “My brother was arrested for possession shortly before we met with you.”

“No, it’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Kris said with a dismissive wave of her hand. Then she stepped closer to Lisbon and whispered, “I was worried because you acted so coldly toward Patrick. I thought that maybe he was abusing you.”

Lisbon blushed. “Oh god, no!”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Kris said in a normal tone of voice.

Then Jane was back. He had gotten rid of his jacket and had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. In his hands, he carried lemonade rum punch for Kris and Lisbon.

“Here you are, babe,” he said to Lisbon loud enough for Kris to hear, handing her a glass.

He had called her _babe_ , not _honey_ , as Pike always did. And hearing him say it, even if it was just an act, sounded … hot.

“Thanks,” Lisbon replied, and took a sip.

“What are you talking about?” Jane wanted to know. He put an arm around Lisbon’s shoulders and she immediately leaned into his touch, which he acknowledged by squeezing her shoulder reassuringly. “I hope Teresa isn’t boring you?”

“Hey!” Lisbon protested, and elbowed Jane lightly in the ribs.

Jane had the biggest smile on his face and seeing him like this filled Lisbon with a warmth that had nothing to do with the alcohol she had just consumed.

“I’m just teasing,” Jane said to Kris. “Teresa has two very interesting stories to tell. It’s enough to entertain anyone for a solid 15 minutes.”

“I’m warning you, Patrick,” Lisbon said. She thought about pinching him but decided not to overdo it. “At least I have _two_ stories to tell – beats your single one every day.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Jane said to Kris. “I’m very interesting. I need to tell you about that one time Teresa and I went to Greece for three weeks, and as soon as we arrived in Athens, I realized one of our bags was missing, so –”

But before Lisbon found out what it was she had supposedly experienced in Greece, they were interrupted my Louis calling Jane’s name from the other end of the pool.

“Coming!” Jane called back, then turned back to Kris and Lisbon. “Excuse me, ladies.”

“What happened to your bag?” Kris wanted to know.

“Patrick tells the story much better, believe me,” Lisbon answered.

“Hm,” Kris made and finally tasted her drink. “How long have you two been together?”

“Seven years,” Lisbon answered.

“Wow,” Kris made. “That’s a long time.”

“What about you and Louis?” Lisbon wanted to know.

“Ten,” Kris replied, “but we got married after dating for a year. You and Patrick aren’t married, are you?”

Lisbon shook her head.

“Why not? Don’t you want to get married?”

“I don’t know,” Lisbon shrugged. “I guess we’ve been so busy we never thought about it.”

“But do _you_ want to get married?” Kris pressed.

Lisbon thought back to her anniversary dinner with Pike, which was the first time she thought about her boyfriend since talking to him on the phone four days ago. When he had pulled out the turquoise box, she had panicked for a second. The thought of Pike proposing to her had scared her, not because she was excited yet cautious to take the next step with him, but because a proposal would have meant she would have ended the relationship right there and then. Pushing her like this, and so soon, would have been too much for her.

Lisbon couldn’t see herself getting married to Pike, not now anyway. Not ever, really. She opened her mouth to tell Kris no, she never wanted to marry, but then she saw Jane walking toward them out of the corner of her eyes. He was still talking to Louis and Gabriel, pointing at the house, explaining something. The group walked past them and as they did, Jane brushed up against her, running his hand lightly along the small of her back, making her shiver despite the warm day. And then she thought about marrying Jane, thought about standing with him in front of their friends and family, thought about being asked if she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, and suddenly the thought of getting married didn’t scare her. It filled her with so much longing and heartache that she couldn’t help but stare after Jane.

Kris must have seen her feelings displayed on her face because she asked, “You do want to get married, don’t you? And Patrick doesn’t?”

“No, it’s not that,” Lisbon answered. She ran her fingers over the bracelet, the heart. “Before I started dating Patrick, I had a boyfriend who proposed to me after six months. He was moving way too fast, and, ultimately, his proposal was the reason why I broke up with him. I told Patrick that I don’t really want to get married when we started dating, so he wouldn’t make the same mistake, but I guess I’m ready now. I just haven’t told him my feelings have changed yet.”

“Hm,” Kris made again. “I had a pushy boyfriend once, in high school. He wanted to start a family right after graduation. I know how difficult it can be.”

“Yeah,” Lisbon agreed.

“But you should tell Patrick,” Kris said. She smiled at Lisbon encouragingly. “I see the way he looks at you. Believe me, he cannot wait to propose to you.”

Lisbon laughed lightly. She took it as a compliment for Jane’s acting skills. “Maybe. But we just started a new chapter in our lives. I’m not sure we’re both ready for yet another change.”

“Hey, Patrick!” Kris shouted suddenly, and waved at Jane, who was standing in the kitchen with the other two. “Could you come here for a minute, please?”

Lisbon went pale. “No, Kris, please don’t,” she whispered.

“Don’t worry,” Kris said, a mischievous smile on her face.

“Is everything all right?” Jane asked, looking at Lisbon with concern on his face.

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Lisbon hurried to say.

“Teresa has something important to tell you,” Kris announced. Lisbon shook her head, but Kris went on. “I’m gonna leave you two for a couple of minutes and take a look at the buffet.” She walked away but glanced back at Lisbon and nodded encouragingly.

“What's that about?” Jane wanted to know.

Lisbon sighed. “Nothing … I might have slightly overdone it with my backstory.”

Jane smirked. “What did you tell her? What does she think you want to tell me?”

“I just said when we started dating, I told you I never wanted to get married, but now I’ve changed my mind,” Lisbon said quickly.

“Well done!” Jane squeezed her arm again. “Maybe we should get engaged then.”

“No!” Lisbon protested immediately. “Not here, in front of everyone.”

“Not _here_? Does that mean the engagement’s not off the table?”

Lisbon thought about it for a moment, then answered, “Yes, it is. I think marriage is too important to joke about, even if it’s for a case.”

Jane nodded. “All right, no engagement then. It would be a bit over the top anyway. But still, let’s pretend we talked about this, and you told me you changed your mind, so that Kris thinks we’re considering it.”

He pulled Lisbon into a hug and she hugged him back, allowing herself to breathe in his scent for a moment. It reminded her of the smell of freshly mowed grass on a warm day, mixed with something darker, more earthy. He smelled familiar. She closed her eyes, trapped between his arms and her thoughts, not wanting to let go. But Jane broke off the hug too soon for her taste; he stepped back, both hands on her shoulders, looking at her with a big grin on his face. For a single, brief moment, Lisbon thought he would lean down and kiss her, but then she remembered it was all an act for Kris’ benefit. The way he looked at her was just pretend. He was Patrick, the diamond thief, not Jane, her best friend.

“I should go and keep an eye on Louis,” Jane said then, lowering his arms. “I think he might steal something from us. He has shifty eyes.”

“You do that,” Lisbon said. She couldn’t help but smile.

They were interrupted by Kris. Lisbon had been so lost in Jane’s blue eyes she hadn’t seen her coming. “Is everything all right between you two?” Kris asked.

Jane winked at Lisbon. “It is now,” he said.

Lisbon couldn’t help but blush and look after him as he left, only to see him turn around and smile at her. _It’s all an act_ , she reminded herself over the noise the butterflies in her stomach were making. _He’s not really in love with me._

“So …,” Kris started, “are you engaged?”

“Not yet,” Lisbon answered, “but he was happy when I told him I’d changed my mind. So we’ll see.”

“I bet he gets you the most beautiful engagement ring,” Kris said with a romantic sigh. “Just think about it; he already got you the Pink Star as a simple anniversary gift.”

Lisbon had to smile too. Kris sounded much more invested in her cover story than she was herself. And she sounded just a little bit in love with Jane. But, then again, who could blame her?

“Enough about me,” Lisbon interrupted Kris’ daydreams. “Tell me about you and Louis.”

Kris did and, from the sound of it, Louis had been a small-time thug before he met Kris. Kris, who definitely was the brains of their operation, had convinced him to dream bigger. So they had started stealing diamonds. Since Kris had to do most of the work on her own, she had decided to form the group to have people to help her with the thefts, since Louis liked the money, but didn’t like working for it. Lisbon was on the verge of asking Kris why she stayed with Louis, when the other woman plunged into a long monologue about Louis’ merits. Apparently, he knew how to protect his woman, and Kris had been on the lookout for a strong man. Despite her outgoing nature and her intelligence, she needed someone who could protect her, from what, she didn’t say.

Then the man they were talking about came walking toward them and pulled Kris close before kissing her deeply. Lisbon stared at them, not used to seeing such a public display of affection.

“Come with me,” he whispered into Kris’ ear when they broke apart.

“Where are we going?” Kris wanted to know, but she let herself be pulled away by her husband, not even looking back to apologize to Lisbon.

Jane, sensing an opportunity to be alone with Lisbon, suddenly was at her side with another glass of lemonade rum punch for her. “I don’t think I’ve told you yet, but that jumpsuit suits you,” he said, handing her the drink.

“Every time you say that you’re complimenting yourself,” Lisbon pointed out. “You’re the one who picked it.”

“Eh. Picking is easy, looking stunning is much harder.”

“Don’t overdo it,” Lisbon said.

“Then stop looking so beautiful every day.”

Lisbon pinched his arm.

“Ouch!” Jane complained. “What did you do that for?”

“Stop wasting all the good lines on me,” Lisbon said. She couldn’t help but smile at the offended expression on Jane’s face. “Wait until Kris gets back so she can hear them, too.”

“I’m not complimenting you for Kris’ sake. I want _you_ to know you look beautiful.”

 _It’s still an act_ , Lisbon repeated in her head. _He just wants me to blush and look smitten in case Kris is watching us_.

She stepped closer to Jane and put a hand on his arm. “You don’t look so bad yourself,” she said, watching his face closely.

He smiled at her. “We make a good-looking couple, don’t we?”

Lisbon shook her head, a soft smile on her lips. “Again, you’re complimenting yourself.”

“Hey, sorry about that,” Kris interrupted them.

Lisbon almost shouted at her to go away. Instead, she turned so she was standing next to Jane, and let the hand that had been on his arm wander to the small of his back. For a moment, she felt tension there, but then he relaxed into her touch, and she smiled again, proud with herself that she had managed to surprise Patrick Jane.

It felt so easy, much easier than being with Pike. And she wasn’t even dating Jane, not really. She knew it was unfair to compare the two, but she was having so much fun with Jane at this party, much more than she would have had with Pike. The way Jane looked at her made her feel loved and wanted, even if it was just pretend, and it didn’t feel like she was disappointing him constantly, while having to compete with a made-up version of herself he had in his mind. She knew that if she, on a whim, should decide to pinch Jane’s side next time he said something cheeky he would catch her wrist and hold it, laugh, maybe pinch her back. Pike, on the other hand, would just ask her to stop it.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Kris added, looking between Jane and Lisbon.

“No, don’t worry about it,” Lisbon assured her. She slowly stroked Jane’s back, realizing how thin the fabric of his shirt was.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Jane asked. His voice sounded slightly off.

“Very much,” Kris nodded. “You have a beautiful house.”

“You know, if you want to jump in the pool, I’m sure you can borrow one of Teresa’s bikinis,” Jane offered.

“Thank you, I’m good,” Kris answered. “But I would like a tour of the house if you have time.”

“Sure,” Jane nodded. “Or are you busy, Teresa?”

“I was hoping _you_ could take me,” Kris said to Jane.

“Sure,” Jane repeated. “As long as Teresa doesn’t mind.”

Lisbon took the opportunity to let her fantasy become a reality and pinched Jane’s side. Jane did laugh, grab hold of her wrist, and said softly, “Hey”.

“I’m a married woman, Patrick,” Kris said with a sweet smile.

Jane offered Kris his arm and she took it. “We won’t be long,” he said to Lisbon, then walked away arm in arm with the other woman.

Lisbon looked after them, feeling slightly jealous. There was no reason for her to be. Kris assumed she and Jane were a couple, she was married herself, and Jane wouldn’t just go ahead and seduce their target. And even if he did, she should be happy for him, not jealous. After all, she wasn’t single herself and couldn’t give him what he might be looking for. But she missed Jane’s warm body next to her, missed the soft pressure of his hand on her shoulder, missed the way he smiled at her, and he had only been gone for a couple of seconds. Then he turned around, grinned mischievously, and winked, and the whole world stood still. She felt her cheeks burning, felt a lump forming in her throat, wanted to reason with herself it was just an act, but had difficulty hearing her own thoughts over the sound of her racing heart.

She needed to be alone for a while, but instead of retreating to her room, she walked the length of the pool to a long bench that stood in a quieter part of the garden. From there, she could overlook the house and the pool, but she was alone, alone with her thoughts, alone with her confused feelings. She watched the other guests, counted them (fifteen), counted them again (sixteen), wondered who they were. It wasn’t like her not to know every name of every person involved in a case, not to know how they were connected to each other, but she had trusted Jane to invite the right people to win Kris over, so she hadn’t asked who they were. They all looked like they were having a good time, and Lisbon couldn’t help but feel like a proud hostess.

She lowered her eyes and stared at the small heart on the bracelet which was twinkling up at her in the afternoon sun. _I’m just in character_ , she told herself _, and any feelings I might have are just an extension of that character_. _Just like Jane’s behavior is part of his character_.

She tried to talk to herself in a strict tone, one she had used for her team at the CBI all the time, but she refused to listen to herself. Before she could try a different tactic, she spotted Gabriel walking down the length of the pool toward her, evidently set on talking to her. Lisbon was glad for the distraction. He looked like Kris: He had the same blond hair, the same confident smile, the same vain attitude, judging by the flashy suit he was wearing. But he looked older than her, at least by five years. Lisbon knew he wasn’t a part of his sister’s group, but he definitely knew how she was earning money, and maybe even profited from it.

“You’re Teresa, right?” Gabriel said, smiling at her.

Lisbon nodded.

“Can I –?” He pointed at the bench.

“Sure,” Lisbon said and waited for him to sit down on her left side, so the house was behind her when she looked at him. “Your Kris’ brother?”

“ _Older_ brother,” Gabriel corrected her. “And you’re Patrick’s wife?”

“Girlfriend,” Lisbon corrected him.

“So you’re technically still single?”

Lisbon laughed. “Are you saying it’s only a real relationship if you’re married?”

“I’m saying that if I were Patrick, I would’ve proposed a long time ago,” Gabriel replied with a shrug.

“Are you married?” Lisbon asked.

“No, I’m not. I don’t understand people’s need to tie themselves to one another. But I guess I could make an exception for the right woman.”

Lisbon decided to change the topic because she didn’t feel like talking about marriage for a second time this afternoon. “Are you enjoying the party, Gabriel?” she asked.

Her opposite nodded. “I like your house. It’s a bit big for my taste, but it definitely leaves an impression. Just like you.”

So he didn’t want to let it go. “Are you trying to flirt with me?” Lisbon asked with a smile.

“What if I am?” Gabriel asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.

On the spur of the moment, Lisbon decided to make _Patrick_ the jealous type, mostly because it would mean that, hopefully, Gabriel would stop trying to flirt with her, but also because she liked the thought of Jane being protective of her. “Patrick won’t like that,” Lisbon answered. “He once threw a man off the pier in Forte dei Marmi because he didn’t like the way he was looking at me.” Lisbon smiled, hoping it would make Gabriel assume this was a fond memory for her, but the smile had appeared because the thought of Jane actively seeking out conflict was ridiculous.

“This is a free country,” Gabriel pointed out. “We can do what we want.”

“And what is it you want to do?”

“Ask you out on a date.”

Lisbon laughed again. “I’m flattered, Gabriel, but no.”

Gabriel moved closer to her, an arm resting on the backrest of the bench so his fingers where almost touching Lisbon’s shoulder. “Are you sure? I could show you around Key West, show you the places tourists don’t get to visit. I can take you out on my boat for a day trip. Or maybe you would like to come to Miami with me. Whatever you want to do.”

“Gabriel, I have a boyfriend,” Lisbon reminded him. Maybe she had been a bit careless, a bit too flirty.

“So? I don’t mind,” Gabriel said. “He doesn’t need to know about this.”

“No,” Lisbon said firmly, the flirty tone gone from her voice.

“Are you sure?” Gabriel pushed.

“Gabriel, listen –,” Lisbon started, but then she suddenly felt a familiar touch on her shoulder.

“You okay, babe?” Jane asked, immediately sitting down on her right side. He smiled at Gabriel, but it wasn’t the welcoming smile he had used all afternoon. There was something dark in his eyes Lisbon hadn’t seen before. She was impressed by his acting skills and by the way he was able to assess any situation in a second. He had immediately shifted into the role she had made up for him without them talking about it first. “Are you trying to seduce my girlfriend?” Jane asked.

“No!” Gabriel said immediately.

“Good.” It was a simple word, but Lisbon saw Gabriel swallow hard.

She tried to come up with something to say that would diffuse the tension, but then Jane’s hand, which had been on her shoulder, wandered down to her right leg, and he put it there possessively, right above her knee, on the fabric of her jumpsuit. Now it was Lisbon’s turn to swallow, but then he started moving his thumb in small circles, and she could feel her whole body grow tense, could feel _something_ erupting in the pit of her stomach, and she breathed in sharply.

Lisbon cleared her throat. “Gabriel was just telling me about his boat,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

“You’re wasting your time, Gabriel. Teresa hates boats.”

His hand was still on Lisbon’s leg, his thumb was still doing the small circular movement, and Lisbon wished she could think of something to do to get back at him, but her mind was blank. She couldn’t think of anything, apart from turning around and kissing him. That would certainly catch him off-guard, but it was out of the question. Instead, she decided to run away.

“Will you excuse me for a minute, please?” she said quickly, standing up. “I need to … uh … freshen up.”

She knew Jane was looking after her, she knew he was worrying about having crossed a line, but she didn’t care, couldn’t care. Everything was focused on getting to her room, sitting down in the cool there, breathing, thinking, calming herself down. She quickly climbed the stairs to the balcony, glad Kris was nowhere around to stop her, and as soon as she closed the French doors behind herself, she took a deep breath, then another one, and then the tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach was gone.

Lisbon had never felt like this before, had never allowed herself to feel like this. She hadn’t known a simple touch could be enough to make her lose her grip like this. And it meant she had been right to be careful with letting Jane get too close to her, because if he had that much power over her, she was doomed.

Carefully, she walked to her bed and sat down on the edge, burying her face in her hands. _It’s not real_ , she told herself, _it’s all an act. We’re_ pretending _to be a couple, he’s not my real boyfriend. It’s just a game. He’s trying to get a rise out of me, just because he wants to find out if he can. I cannot have feelings for him_.

The problem was, it was too late for that. Instead of starting to miss Pike and realizing how much she needed him, she had gone right ahead and fallen head over heels in love with Jane. There was no denying it anymore. And their pretend closeness here in Key West wasn’t helping. She had tried burying this feeling, but it wasn’t working; it was already too strong. Still, she couldn’t act on it because, and that was the painful truth, Jane didn’t feel the same. He was only pretending to be in love with her for the sake of the case, and he was doing such a brilliant job she had made the same mistake as any other woman would have made and let herself be lured into this fantasy world until she couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t anymore. The only thing that was certain was that she didn’t need to sit down after the party to think about her feelings for Jane. It was glaringly obvious now, even to her.

Jane couldn’t be in love with her, no matter how much she wanted him to be. Jane, who had no problem with disappearing for two years only to come back and demand she move to a different city, a different state for him so they could work together again, wouldn’t watch her date another man. It was possible he kept quiet because he was worried she didn’t return his feelings, but this was the man who had spent almost ten years of his life relentlessly hunting down (and finally killing) a serial killer. He wouldn’t let something as ridiculous as the possibility of embarrassing himself in front of a woman stop him from trying.

No, to Jane she was a friend, nothing more. And talking to him about this topic was out of the question. He would just look at her with pity in his eyes, then apologize for being so good at deceiving people that she had fallen for him. Maybe he would hold back in future when they were around Kris and the others, and Lisbon definitely didn’t want that. It meant they would jeopardize the case again. And, selfishly, she didn’t want him to stop acting the way he did right now, even if it meant she was falling in love with him more each passing day. She needed this, needed to experience what it could be like with Jane, needed to experience what they would be like as a couple, before she went back to Austin and to Pike, to her life without Jane next to her, without him being this close.

Lisbon stood up again and walked to the French doors to look outside into the garden. Jane and Gabriel were still sitting on the bench. Gabriel looked uncomfortable – his hands were folded in his lap and he had moved as far away from Jane as possible, while Jane had his left arm on the backrest and his right leg crossed over his left, looking at ease, fitting into the role of the rich diamond thief he was trying to be. Seeing him like this made her heart beat so fast she was scared it would jump out of her chest and over the balustrade, right into Jane’s lap.

And there was the small matter of Patrick and Jane. Was she in love with Patrick, the flashy, cocky character Jane had adopted, the man who could touch Lisbon without any repercussions, the man who could flirt with her and knew she would return the favor? Or was she in love with Jane, her best friend, the man she had risked her career for countless times, the man she would do anything for (even if she would never admit this), the man she had saved more than once but who had also saved her every day since they had met for the first time?

It was Jane. It had always been him.

She sighed with frustration and relief and longing, then turned around and walked toward the bathroom. The one time in her life she fell in love with a man head over heels, yet slowly and over many years, gradually until it was too late and she was lost, and it was unrequited. She turned on the faucet and splashed water on her face, then stared at her reflection in the mirror. What she saw was the face of a woman unconditionally, irrevocably in love with her best friend.

She dried her hands; the bracelet catching in the towel and she huffed, annoyed. Quickly, she took it off with shaky hands, then dropped it next to the sink before walking back into the bedroom. She knew she needed to get a grip on herself before she could go down there, she needed to push all personal feelings out of the way and find Teresa again, find the woman who had been Jane’s girlfriend for the past seven years. She focused on coming up with a plan, focused on scanning the crowd for Kris. As soon as she would approach Jane and her brother, Lisbon would walk downstairs, get a drink from the buffet, and bring it to Jane. Even though she was sure they had almost convinced Kris to let them join the group, a finishing touch couldn’t hurt. And getting Jane a drink would give him the opportunity to touch her again, thank her, prove to Kris they could be normal around each other.

It didn’t take long for Kris to make her way over to the bench Jane and her brother were sitting on. Lisbon would have preferred to stay in her room a while longer, but the sooner she got down there again, the sooner they would convince Kris to let them join the group, and the sooner this whole affair would be over. She straightened her hair, then opened the French doors, and stepped outside, determined not to let Jane see any sign of the storm raging inside her. Instead, she put on a big smile as she climbed down the stairs and went to the buffet to pick up the same sweet drink Jane had gotten for her all afternoon. Then she walked over to the small group by the side of the pool.

Jane jumped up the second he saw her. “Oh, there you are,” he said, more to say anything at all than for any other purpose. “Are you all right?” Was it the real Jane or Patrick, the diamond thief, asking her this?

Lisbon nodded and continued to smile. “I got you this,” she said, handing him the drink.

“Thanks, babe,” Jane replied casually, taking the glass from her.

Then he leaned down to press a soft kiss to her cheek. It wasn’t a real kiss, it was so light she barely felt his lips against her skin, but it was enough to make her freeze. They had talked about this, she had agreed to let him do it, but she had completely forgotten about it until now. And in the state she was in it was the last thing she needed.

The last time they had pretended to be a couple in front of Kris, during their lunch date, she had been uncomfortable with Jane’s closeness. Now she felt too comfortable. And it scared her. It scared her that the moment his lips touched her skin she thought about how she could get him to do it again. One time wasn’t enough, she had to feel the sensation over and over again, and not just on her cheek. She couldn’t move, couldn’t think straight, she stood frozen in the same spot, while the conversation continued around her. Between her confused feelings, her tiredness, her overthinking she was sure of one thing: She never felt like this when Pike kissed her.

Then Jane’s voice managed to break through all the white noise her tumbling thoughts were making. “Babe?” he said.

“Huh?” Lisbon made, looking up at him.

“Did you lose your bracelet?” Jane asked.

She looked down at her naked wrist, momentarily confused, before she remembered that Jane’s world hadn’t stopped when he had kissed her, and he was continuing their little charade. “It was getting in the way. I took it off,” she answered quickly.

“Huh,” Jane made, cocking an eyebrow at her.

She could tell it was her Jane by the sparkle in his eyes.

* * *

It had been loud before, but it was quiet now. The house around her, but also the thoughts in her head. Lisbon sat in the semi-darkness of one of the living rooms, the model boats hovering above her head like small clouds. After the brightness and the noise and the confusion of the day, she was content to sit in the twilight and the quiet and the calm. She needed a break from all of it: from the case, from Kris and the others, from Jane’s eyes on her, watching her, worrying he’d overstepped yet another line. She really should tell him he needed to stop doing that – she wouldn’t break.

They weren’t there yet. Even though Kris had enjoyed the party, she was still reluctant to let them join the group and had insisted on another meeting with them. Lisbon wished she would just make up her mind. This constant state of not knowing if they were getting closer to solving the case or not was giving her a headache. As was Key West’s humid weather.

“Oh, you’re hiding in here.” Jane’s head had appeared in the door frame. His hair was tousled, yet sticking to his forehead; he looked exhausted, yet at ease. He was beautiful. “Mind if I join you?”

Lisbon made a vague gesture to the space on the couch beside her, unable to do more. She only registered Jane moving past her, his body dropping down next to hers; she moved her head to the side so she could look at him.

“Are you all right?” Jane asked.

This time she was sure it was Jane asking, her Jane. She nodded. “I’m exhausted.”

He smiled softly. “Me too. Good party though, wasn’t it?”

“You were the perfect host,” Lisbon said teasingly. “I think Kris might be a bit in love with you.”

Jane shrugged. “I know. I was counting on that. Might make it easier for her to accept us when she wants to keep me around.”

Lisbon punched his arm playfully. “You have a girlfriend, Patrick.” Then she froze.

Jane did too. His face went from relaxed to serious in the blink of an eye. “Earlier today, when you were talking to Gabriel … and I touched your … you know … uh, was that all right? Only you left so quickly I wasn’t sure. Were you uncomfortable?”

Lisbon felt a warmth spread from her chest to her limbs at seeing him so concerned about her wellbeing. She was relieved yet surprised he couldn’t see what was going on though. “No, it was fine.” _It was nice_.

“So you didn’t leave because of me?” Jane pressed.

“No,” Lisbon assured him. “Everything was just getting a bit too much, I needed to get away for a while.” She didn’t look at him, knowing he would be able to tell she was lying if she did.

“You were great today,” Jane said slowly. He moved closer to her until their legs were almost touching.

“We were both great,” Lisbon insisted. “I mean, you’re always great, but it just felt easier than last time.”

Jane pulled a grimace. “It might look easy, but it’s not. Not always, anyway.”

“You mean staying in character?”

“Yeah,” Jane said slowly, “and knowing when to stop.”

Now it was Lisbon’s turn to make, “Hm.” Then she turned to him, only to realize he was closer to her than she had thought. When she moved her head, the tip of her nose almost brushed against his cheek, and when he realized how close they were, he moved away quickly. “If this is about the kiss …,” Lisbon started carefully. “We talked about kissing, it’s fine. It is,” she added with emphasis when he huffed.

“That’s what you keep saying, but I know I still crossed a line when I kissed you. You tensed right up again, and I think Kris noticed.”

“It wasn’t because I was uncomfortable,” Lisbon said quickly. If Jane thought that, then he probably wouldn’t do it again, and she needed him to do it again, she needed to be prepared when he did, so she could store every tiny detail in her memory, like Jane always did with everything. “You just caught me off-guard.”

“You’re still not completely relaxed,” Jane insisted. Then, when Lisbon opened her mouth to protest, he quickly added, “Neither am I. And I have an idea what might help you – I mean us – relax.” He stood up. “Be right back.”

“Jane, where are you going?” Lisbon called after him. She didn’t get a reply.

Knowing Jane, he probably had a really stupid, embarrassing idea that would make her wish she had put her foot down and insisted they wouldn’t do it. But she was also curious to see what he was up to, so she stayed in the living room and waited for him to come back.

When he did, he was carrying two shot glasses and a bottle of tequila.

“Jane,” Lisbon said cautiously.

Jane put down the glasses on the coffee table in front of the couch and filled them both with alcohol.

“Do you really think getting drunk with you will help me loosen up?” Lisbon asked, cautiously taking one of the shot glasses and sniffing its content.

“No,” Jane answered. “We’re not getting drunk. We’re gonna play a game.”

Lisbon had a feeling she wouldn’t like where this was going.

“Let’s play _Never Have I Ever_ ,” Jane said with a smirk and picked up the other glass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the moment, I'm right in the middle of trying to figure out what sort of things Jane and Lisbon have and haven't done and who gets drunk faster (Jane is winning that race, by the way). It'll take me a couple of days to update though, sorry for the "cliffhanger" :/


	6. Never Have I Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Listen, Lisbon, I’m not going to beg,” Jane told her. “If you don’t want to tell me, then don’t.” It was his turn to put up walls now. He had no idea what sort of game Lisbon was playing with him and he was reluctant to make the next move if he didn’t know the rules.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually had this idea to write a one-shot where Jane and Lisbon play 'Never Have I Ever', but I couldn't figure out how to give it the emotional depth I wanted it to have, so I built a whole multi-chapter fic around it. But don't fret, this story is far from over, there will be at least 10 more chapters ... 
> 
> Also, just a quick warning, there's mention of drug use in this chapter (apart from them getting drunk).

“Absolutely not!” Lisbon’s voice rang through the living room. She put down the shot glass with some force, so some of the liquid spilled onto the coffee table. “What are you? Twelve?”

Jane winked. “Yeah, on a scale of one to ten.”

Lisbon stood up and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Don’t try to distract me with your witty humor.” She glared at him, her jaw tight. “I’m not playing an embarrassing drinking game with you.”

“Why not?” He put down his own glass on the coffee table, worried she might punch him.

“Did you not hear what I just said? It’s embarrassing.” Lisbon’s voice was still loud, she was angry, keyed up from the exhausting day they had had, but there was also something else there, hidden behind the walls she put up, only just visible in the corners of her eyes. It felt like a challenge, like she was daring him to convince her to play along.

“It doesn’t have to be,” he said slowly.

“It will be. It’s you playing, after all. You’re gonna say stuff like, ‘Never have I ever given a guy a blowjob in a parking lot’, just to embarrass me.”

Jane almost laughed, but he managed to stop himself just in time. “Lisbon, it pains me that you think I’d be this crude,” he said instead, trying to sound offended.

“Then why would you want to play it?” Lisbon asked. She didn’t sound angry anymore; she was lowering her guard.

Jane decided to counter her question with a question of his own. “Why do you think this is such a popular game with teenagers and college students?”

“Because they want to embarrass each other.” It wasn’t a question; it was a statement.

“No, because they want to get to know each other better,” Jane corrected her. “They want to learn information about each other, but they also want to reveal information about themselves, thereby forming a stronger bond. They want to gain each other’s trust. You learn to trust people when you tell them personal things about you. And people learn to trust you when you listen to them.”

Jane thought about how far they had already come, how she had trusted him this afternoon during the party. She had been so different from the Lisbon who had come to lunch with him, and he had enjoyed every second of her pretending to be his girlfriend. But then he had crossed a line again; he knew he had, no matter what she had told him. He didn’t know if it had been the kiss or if it had happened earlier, when he had touched her leg, but he had broken that trust somehow, and he needed to win it back, needed her to act so carefree around him again, not just in private, but when they were around people, like she had done during the party.

Lisbon was attracted to him; he needed her to be. There was no other explanation for the way she looked at him, for the way she challenged him constantly, daring him to take the next step. But he couldn’t, for two reasons. The first one was that he couldn’t be completely sure she was attracted to _him_ and not to the character he played in front of Kris and the others. If that was the case, then he and Lisbon would be living a lie and he couldn’t let that happen. The other reason was that he had tried once before to keep her close to him by telling her what to do, and she had been so angry with him for it she had started dating Pike. He would never make that mistake again. If she had feelings for him and wanted to act upon them, she would have to make the first move.

“If it’s that great, why isn’t it used as a trust building exercise?” Lisbon asked, pulling Jane out of his thoughts.

They had been talking about the game. _Right_. “You’re right, it should be. It’s much better than a trust fall.” He put on a look he knew Lisbon couldn’t resist, his “puppy eye”-look as he knew she called it.

It had the desired effect. “Jane, no,” Lisbon said, but her resistance was much weaker now. He was getting through to her. She wanted to do him a favor … and she was curious.

“I’m not doing this to embarrass you,” Jane said, stepping closer to her. “I want us to relax and be comfortable with each other.” _Like we used to be_. “If you don’t want to confirm or deny a statement, you don’t have to. This is just about us having fun.”

“No.” The word was so quiet he almost didn’t catch it.

“Come on, you’ll have fun,” he said, nudging her arm. “Trust me.”

Lisbon picked up her shot glass from the coffee table and looked at it. “Is it good tequila?” she asked.

“The best,” Jane assured her.

“Only I don’t want to end up in a coma by the end of this,” Lisbon added.

Jane’s face lit up and he felt excitement rush through his veins – he usually only felt like this when he was on the verge of solving a case. “Is that a yes?”

Lisbon sighed. “You are insufferable, you know that?” Then she raised the glass to her lips and emptied it with one big gulp.

“Hey, we haven’t even started yet,” Jane protested, unable to hide his surprise and delight.

Lisbon let herself fall back onto the couch and refilled her glass. “Okay. I’m ready.” She took a deep breath. “Hit me.”

Jane practically jumped across the coffee table and sat down beside her, knowing full well he looked like an excited puppy, but he didn’t care. “All right …,” he started, rubbing his hands together. “Never have I ever eaten only ice cream for a whole day.”

He picked up his glass and emptied it. When he sat it back down, he saw Lisbon looking at him with surprise and … relief. She really had expected him to say something cringy and it dampened his mood for a second that she would trust him so little.

“Really?” she asked, her voice full of disbelief.

“Haven’t you? Not even when you were a kid?”

“Why would I? It would just make me sick,” she said with a shrug.

Jane smirked. “I can already tell this is gonna be a fun game with you.” _It's going be a challenge not to get completely wasted while Lisbon stays relatively sober_ , he thought.

“Oh, shut up!” Lisbon said, her voice higher than usual. “I’m not playing if you’re just gonna tease me.”

“All right, I’ll try not to.” He refilled his glass, then looked at her expectantly. “Your turn.”

Lisbon was thinking hard, he could tell by the way she furrowed her brows. She looked at Jane, then looked away again. Her hand moved to her wrist where Pike’s bracelet used to be; she had grown accustomed to touching it whenever she was about to let Jane get too close to her, but it was gone now. Its absence made Jane feel exhilarated.

Finally, Lisbon took a deep breath and said, “Never have I ever trespassed.” Then she drank without hesitation.

Jane emptied his glass as well, then looked at Lisbon curiously.

“What?” she asked, moving her shoulders into a more comfortable position on the couch.

“Really? You?” Jane asked. Lisbon, who usually did everything by the book didn’t seem like the person who would break the rules. Unless Jane asked her to, of course.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” It sounded like a challenge again. Jane was beginning to grow fond of that tone of voice. It meant she was pushing him to break through her walls.

“You know breaking into a suspect’s house without a search warrant doesn’t count, right?” Jane pointed out.

“I had a life before I was a cop,” Lisbon reminded him.

Jane smiled at her. “Tell me then.”

Lisbon sighed and rolled her eyes, but there was definitely a playful glint in them. “When I was in high school, there was an old house in our neighborhood, and an old woman lived there all by herself. There was this rumor at my school she was a witch and most of us kids where afraid to get too close to the house. She always screamed at us in a really creepy, high-pitched voice when we did. I guess she was just an old woman who didn’t want us teenagers around, but we made up stories about her sacrificing cats and goats to Satan.”

Jane couldn’t help but snort. “Did you really believe she was a witch?” he asked.

“No, of course not,” Lisbon answered. “I needed something to distract me from my life, it was a form of escapism.”

It made Jane sad hear Lisbon mention her childhood like this. She had been forced to grow up way too fast. “Fair enough,” he said.

“Anyway,” Lisbon continued, “when I was in my last year of high school, I was at a sleepover at one of my friend’s houses and we were playing _Truth or Dare_.”

“Ah,” Jane interrupted her. “Another excellent game to build trust.”

“Do you want me to tell the story or not?” Lisbon asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

“Sorry.”

“One of the guys at the sleepover dared me to break into the house and steal the knife we thought she used to sacrifice animals. So I broke in and got a knife from her kitchen.” She shrugged as if it hadn’t been a big deal, just a normal day in the life of Teresa Lisbon.

“That’s not trespassing, that’s breaking and entering,” Jane pointed out.

“I never got caught, in case you were wondering.” The glint was back, and Jane could see how a younger, much more inexperienced Lisbon would have jumped at the opportunity to prove herself by breaking into the house of a scary witch.

“Wow,” he said slowly. “I see you in a completely different light now.”

“You promised no teasing,” Lisbon reminded him.

“I said I’ll _try_ not to tease you.” He refilled both their glasses. “Big difference.” He looked up to see Lisbon glare at him. Instead of intimidating him, it sparked a warm feeling in his chest, and he couldn’t help but smile at her lovingly before he said, “Never have I ever been kicked out of a bar.” Then he drank, while Lisbon just watched him.

“When have _you_ ever been kicked out of a bar?” It was the same tone of voice he had used when he had asked her about the trespassing. It was interesting she didn’t believe him.

“Oh, countless times,” he answered with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“But you hate conflict …,” she said slowly, doubt written all over her face.

Yes, he did hate conflict and Lisbon knew he would rather run and hide than be shot by the bad guy, but that hadn’t stopped her from pretending he would beat up any guy that came too close to her, like she had done this afternoon. And Lisbon was right … he wouldn’t hesitate to confront anyone who made her uncomfortable.

“I’m not talking about getting into a bar fight,” he laughed, “I’m just saying I got drunk, had too much fun, and got kicked out.”

Lisbon still looked as if she didn’t believe him.

“Not everyone is as boring as you are,” Jane said teasingly, smirking at her.

“I’m not boring,” she defended herself immediately. And she was right – she was anything but. “I just know how to behave myself in public.”

He laughed again. “No, you’re boring.” There was no harm in challenging her for a change.

“Jane …”

Jane realized he should stop teasing her then. It upset her when he called her boring, even if it was just a joke, and he didn’t want to agitate her. “Sorry, you’re not boring,” he said quietly, “and you’re gonna prove it to me now.” He refilled his glass, waiting for her to continue.

This time, Lisbon didn’t hesitate. “Never have I ever done something stupid and broken a bone as a result.” But, again, she didn’t drink.

Jane did.

“Is there anything you haven’t done?” She didn’t sound annoyed or angry or exasperated, just genuinely curious.

“Is there anything you’ve done?” Jane countered.

“Oh, I’ve broken a couple of bones, but not because I did something stupid.”

“Define stupid.”

“I don’t know …,” Lisbon shrugged. “Let’s say, because you wanted to impress someone, for example.”

“Oh yes, I’ve done that.” Jane smiled at the memory.

“You know what, I don’t even want to know.” There it was again, the annoyance.

“When I was with the carny …,” Jane started.

“I said I don’t want to know,” Lisbon interrupted him.

“Shush, Lisbon,” Jane said. He would tell her this story, if she liked it or not. She had shared something from her childhood with him and now it was his turn. “As I was saying, when I was with the carny – I was eleven or twelve –, we stopped in a small town in Oregon. There was a group of boys there who came to our camping ground almost every day. They were a bit older than me, and, naturally, I wanted to be their friend.”

“I cannot believe there was a time when Patrick Jane bothered to make friends.” Her words sounded mean, but there was a softness in her eyes when she said it – Jane decided he should talk about his past more often if it meant she would look at him like that.

“Anyway,” he continued, trying to ignore the warm, tingling feeling he suddenly had in his stomach, “I wanted to impress them, so I showed them around, introduced them to everyone, let them pet the animals … There was a girl with us during that time, she did a tightrope act, and these boys liked to watch her practice.”

Lisbon pulled a face.

“I told you, they were a bit older than me, they were just beginning to discover an entirely foreign species … girls. Of course, I wasn’t at that age yet and even though I knew adults liked to kiss and do other things …”

Lisbon interrupted him with a snort. “You still talk as if you’re eleven or twelve.”

“You were worried I would be crude; this is me trying not to be,” Jane defended himself.

“Sorry,” Lisbon said with a soft smile.

“I knew adults were interested in things I didn’t fully understand yet,” he went on. “So instead of realizing they were all in love with Tightrope Girl, I thought they were interested in the act. I got up on that rope to show them how it’s done … and I failed. Well, fell.”

“Did you hurt yourself?” Lisbon asked, concerned.

“Yeah, I broke my leg. That was sort of the whole point of this story.”

“Well, it was a stupid thing to do,” Lisbon reprimanded him.

Jane smirked. “It did get me a kiss from Tightrope Girl though. That was my first kiss, actually.”

“Bet that went down well with your new friends.”

“It did,” Jane assured her. “They were impressed with me because I had gotten a girl to kiss me and because I was a daredevil.”

Lisbon snorted again. “I guess that was before you ran away from any sign of danger?”

“This is the second time you’ve mentioned something like this,” Jane pointed out. “Do you think I’m a coward, Lisbon?”

Lisbon’s face grew serious as she said, “No, I don’t think so … you’re brave. You’re probably the bravest man I know.”

Jane, who had expected her to tease him, tell him, yes, she thought he was a coward, hadn’t seen such a confession coming. He could live with being called a coward, but he definitely wasn’t the bravest man she knew.

He pulled a face. “I’m not.”

“Just take the compliment,” Lisbon told him

“It’s a compliment?”

She sighed and looked at Jane’s empty glass in his hands. “I have a feeling that you’re gonna be much drunker than me when this is over.”

Jane refilled his glass. “Try me.”

“It’s your turn,” Lisbon pointed out.

“Oh, right.” She made it difficult for him to keep up with the game.

Lisbon laughed a short, adorable laugh, which didn’t really help with his general confusion.

“Never have I ever flirted with a police officer to get out of a speeding ticket,” Jane said. He didn’t drink this time.

Lisbon did.

“Lisbon!”

“What?” she asked. There was a different sort of glint in her eyes now, a mischievous one.

Jane smiled fondly at her. “There is a wild side to you after all.”

“As if you haven’t done something like that.”

“Nope.”

Again, Lisbon looked at him as if she didn’t believe him. “You get through life flirting with people!”

“I do not,” Jane protested.

“What about Kris?” Lisbon reminded him.

“That’s for a case.”

“What about when we met?” she asked. “You used to flirt with me all the time back then.”

Jane remembered how it had been when they had met and the few short years after that when he hadn’t been so close to Red John yet that every step he had made had been dangerous. He had flirted with her back then, mostly as a joke, because he had liked it when she had blushed because of him. He still liked it. And he knew he should have been more careful because, ultimately, his flirting had led to him falling in love with her for real. Still, he was flattered Lisbon remembered even after all these years.

“Maybe I should drink as well then,” he said lightly.

“I never gave you a speeding ticket.”

“But I did distract you from being angry with me by flirting with you.”

“Ha!” she made. “So you admit it.”

 _I would never deny it_. “Did it work, by the way?” he asked.

“Did what work?”

 _Did you stop being angry with me when I flirted with you?_ “Did you get out of the speeding ticket?”

“Oh yes.” She smirked.

Jane smiled at her proudly, refilling her glass.

“Okay, my turn.” She sounded at ease now, eager to continue. Jane was happy to see she was starting to enjoy herself. “Never have I ever gone surfing.”

“What a boring thing to say!” Jane groaned.

“How is that boring?” Lisbon challenged.

Jane emptied his glass. “Everyone’s tried surfing.”

“I never tried it,” Lisbon told him.

Jane looked at her in disbelief. “Lisbon, you used to live in California,” he reminded her.

“So?”

“Never mind.” He sighed. “I’ll have to start teasing you again if you don’t start saying more exciting things soon.” Again, he refilled his glass.

“Oh, come on, like what?”

He loved it so much when she was like this, challenging him, daring him. He gazed at her mischievously, and she noticed that something had changed because she shifted slightly. It was time to make this game more interesting.

“Never have I ever had a crush on a coworker,” he said, not breaking eye contact, watching every micro-expression her face made. “And Pike doesn’t count.”

Lisbon didn’t get angry with him or put up a wall. Instead, she simply said, “Oh right, something like that,” and drank.

Jane drank too. His heart was racing, his hands felt clammy, and he had to put down his glass on the coffee table carefully. He hadn’t expected her to drink – he had expected her to get angry again, saying the question was too personal, saying she wouldn’t talk about it, especially not with him, but here she was, downing her shot of tequila as if it wasn’t a big deal. _Is this it?_ he wondered. _Is she about to admit … no she wouldn’t, not if there was nothing to admit_. And she also wouldn’t if there was. She wasn’t drunk enough for that yet.

“Okay, spill,” he said, acting cool and nonchalant.

Lisbon shrugged. “Mashburn.”

Jane was very confused. For one, he hadn’t expected her to answer this quickly; instead, he had already prepared himself for a long discussion during which he would have had to lure the answer out of her, like one carefully opens an oyster to get to the pearl within. And then she had not only answered quickly, but she had said a name he had never expected to hear.

“Mashburn?” he repeated.

“Walter Mashburn,” Lisbon clarified. “The millionaire? You don’t remember him?”

“Oh, I remember him,” Jane assured her, “I just don’t believe you had a crush on him.” _Lisbon? Having a crush on Walter Mashburn? Lisbon??_

“Who’s your crush then?” Lisbon wanted to know.

When Jane had started with this topic, he had been prepared to admit he had feelings for her if she had given him any kind of sign there was only the slight possibility she felt the same. But now he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

“Kristina Frye,” he said.

“She wasn’t even a colleague,” Lisbon protested

Did she sound jealous? Could that be? Or did he just want to believe she was jealous because he was desperate for a sign he might have a shot with her after all.

“Mashburn wasn’t a colleague either,” Jane pointed out.

“He helped us solve a case,” Lisbon reminded him.

“But he didn’t get paid by the CBI.”

“Well, neither did Kristina Frye.”

Jane sighed. “Since we’re both not being honest, let’s just move on.” The moment he had said it he regretted it. She would ask him now why he wasn’t being honest, and he had to either name another woman they had met on a case or tell her the truth. Doing the second thing was out of the question.

Luckily, Lisbon wanted to defend herself and not press Jane for an answer. “I’m being honest.”

“Sure,” Jane said sarcastically.

“Jane, you’re drunk. You’re not up to fighting me on this.” She glared at him again, gave him a look that told him she wouldn’t tolerate any further discussion on this topic, told him he would lose the fight if he insisted on pursuing it.

Jane swallowed. It had nothing to do with her threat, and everything to do with the way she looked at him. He always kept pushing her buttons to lure out this look that told him he shouldn’t mess with her, that told him she was prepared to fight him … and win. It did things to him when she was like this, things he only dared to examine in the quietness and darkness of his bedroom on the rare occasion he actually slept in a real bed.

“I’m not drunk,” he said. He refilled his glass, then hers.

Lisbon nodded at the bottle, blissfully unaware of the effect she was having on him. “You’ve had six shots.”

“Interesting that you’re keeping count.” He winked at her.

Lisbon ignored him. “Never have I ever cheated on a test.”

Jane nodded. “Okay, it’s more interesting than _gone surfing_ , I’ll give you that.”

Lisbon drank. “You’re not drinking.”

“Because I have never cheated on a test,” Jane answered with a shrug.

The look she gave him told him she wanted him to stop messing with her.

Jane felt the need to elaborate. “You’re forgetting I never went to high school or college.”

“You should still drink because you’re cheating your way through life.”

There was a slight edge to her voice when she said it. It was supposed to have sounded teasingly, but Jane could tell it had come from a place of hurt. So he decided to take the edge off.

“Says the woman who flirted with a police officer to get out of a speeding ticket.”

“I shouldn’t have told you that.” Lisbon refilled her glass.

“Makes me almost wish I was a police officer,” Jane added. _Okay, Lisbon is right, I’m definitely drunk_.

Lisbon looked at him in surprise but didn’t say anything.

“Sorry, forget it,” Jane mumbled. “Never have I ever been attracted to a person just because of their looks.” _No, wait a minute, that’s actually worse_. “You don’t -,” he started, but Lisbon had already downed the shot.

Jane couldn’t move. For the second time this evening he was surprised by her admitting something like this so readily. He briefly wondered if he was the person Lisbon was attracted to just because of his looks, but then he realized it wouldn’t be enough. A brief infatuation that wouldn’t become anything more was actually worse than her not having any feelings for him at all.

“Oh, come on, Jane!” Lisbon interrupted his train of thought.

Jane quickly decided to act as if he just hadn’t wanted to admit it, instead of telling her how much her reaction had surprised him. “Oh, all right,” he said, and drank.

Lisbon looked relieved. “For a moment there you had me doubting you were human.”

“Nope, I’m human,” Jane assured her.

“Anyone I know?” she asked slowly, without looking at him.

“I don’t know …,” Jane answered in the same tone of voice. “Sometimes I see a woman … I’m sure you know how it is.”

“I was thinking of someone in particular actually,” she admitted, then froze, like she had done when he had kissed her.

Jane swallowed hard. _Oh shit_. “Who?” His voice was uncharacteristically high.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Lisbon mumbled.

Jane needed to know, he needed to hear her say a name, his name, any name. “Lisbon, who?” he pushed.

“No, forget I said it,” she answered, shaking her head.

Jane couldn’t and wouldn’t forget it. “We’re trying to build some trust here, in case you’ve forgotten.”

Lisbon looked strangely vulnerable. “You’re gonna make fun of me.”

Jane could feel his heart breaking. “Please, Lisbon. I promise I won’t.”

“Let’s shake on it.” She held out her hand, waiting for him to take it.

Jane’s chest tightened. _Why does she need to hide behind walls like that_? “Lisbon, what -?” he started.

“Do it,” she ordered, “or I’m not telling.”

Her tone of voice made Jane jump. He grabbed her hand and shook it.

Lisbon swallowed, steeling herself for what she was about to say. “Kirkland.”

Jane had to laugh, relief and surprise and disappointment washing over him all at once. “Kirkland?” he echoed.

Lisbon looked at him, hurt written all over her face. “See? You’re laughing.”

“No, I’m surprised,” Jane said carefully. “I just hadn’t expected to hear his name.”

“Yeah, well, I liked the way he looked.” Her voice sounded challenging again, and it made Jane smile.

“And when you say you were attracted to him …,” Jane prompted. He needed to know if there had been something going on between Lisbon and Kirkland.

“It was just physical attraction,” Lisbon said quickly. “I didn’t have a crush on him or anything like that.”

Jane relaxed and let himself fall back into the soft cushions of the couch. “Lisbon, you still surprise me.”

Lisbon looked down at him. She was sitting higher than him now, still refusing to let down her guard completely. “There’s also something else, but I’m not drunk enough to tell you yet,” she said cautiously.

Jane sat up straight. “Say it!” It came out too loud, so he took a calming breath. “Because if you don’t you might forget about it,” he added in a calmer voice. _And I_ need _to know what it is._

“Or maybe you can try to guess what it is.”

Jane furrowed his brows. Had that sounded flirty? Why was she looking at him like that with sultry eyes? Maybe she was tired. Or drunk. _Why can’t I just read her like I can read any other person?_ he thought, frustration making it hard for him to focus.

“Did you sleep with Kirkland?” he finally asked.

“What? No!” She looked disgusted he would suggest something like that. “It’s not about Kirkland.”

“Listen, Lisbon, I’m not going to beg,” Jane told her. “If you don’t want to tell me, then don’t.” It was his turn to put up walls now. He had no idea what sort of game Lisbon was playing with him and he was reluctant to make the next move if he didn’t know the rules.

Her voice was completely calm when she said, “It’s about you.”

Jane blinked very slowly. He didn’t know what to say, and him being at a loss for words was something that never happened. At this point, he had given up any hope she would give him a sign, anything, that might make him hope, and now that it had actually happened, all he could think was, _Oh shit_.

“I always kind of liked it when you wore vests,” Lisbon continued in the same calm tone of voice.

Jane had no idea what to say, his mind was in overdrive trying to process what she had just said.

“Jane?” Lisbon asked carefully.

“Uh …,” was all he could manage.

Lisbon looked at him worriedly. “Jane, you’re scaring me.”

Jane finally managed to say, “I’m just trying to wrap my head around the fact you’re comparing me to Kirkland.”

Lisbon didn’t blush or get angry, she calmly said, in a matter-of-fact voice, “I’m not doing that. I’m just saying I liked your vests, while we’re on the subject of looks.”

Jane decided to jump at the opportunity that was presenting itself to him so readily. “Hm,” he made. “What did you like about them?”

“Jane, I swear, I’m this close to punching you.” Lisbon refilled their glasses. “Never have I ever stolen something with a higher value than ten dollars.”

Jane downed the shot fast, then put down the glass. “Tell me more about the vests.” Now that he had finally wrapped his head around what she had said, he refused to let it go.

“No, we’re moving on,” Lisbon said. “Tell me what you stole.”

Jane waved his hand dismissively. “You know I’ve stolen lots of things, don’t distract me. What was it you liked?”

Lisbon sighed in defeat. “All right, this is the only time we’ll talk about this. Don’t mention it again.”

Jane nodded eagerly, shifting on the couch so he was facing Lisbon more; all his attention was concentrated on her.

“I liked the way you looked in them,” Lisbon said slowly. “Don’t take this the wrong way, you still look good, it’s just … I don’t know, you looked _good_.”

Jane couldn’t help but blush at hearing this.

“Are you blushing?”

“No?” he said immediately, in a defensive tone of voice.

“I cannot believe I made Patrick Jane blush!” Lisbon shouted, looking more pleased with herself than he had ever seen her.

Jane raised a hand and put a finger against Lisbon’s lips. They were soft; he could feel her breath ghosting along his skin. “Shhh!” he made.

Lisbon took Jane’s hand and lowered it, but she didn’t let go. She let both their hands rest on the couch between them. “No, I’m savoring this moment.”

Jane also didn’t see any reason to let go of Lisbon’s hand. Instead, he shook his head lovingly. “Are you done?”

“Not yet.” She closed her eyes briefly, then opened them again. “Do it again.”

“Do what again?” Jane asked.

“Blush.”

“I can’t do it at your command,” Jane informed her.

Lisbon moved slightly closer to him and whispered, “I _really_ liked it when you wore just a vest, without the jacket, and had your sleeves rolled up; you looked roguishly handsome.”

“ _Roguishly handsome_ ,” Jane repeated in a teasing tone of voice, but it had the desired effect. He was blushing again.

Lisbon looked so proud with herself that he didn’t mind exposing himself like this. She also looked at him with so much love in her eyes that it was too much. It was too much to hear her say these things, too much to have her looking at him like this. And all he could think was, _I need to get a vest_.

Then he realized he was still holding her hand, and she realized it at the same moment. They both let go at once.

Lisbon cleared her throat. “Who’s turn is it?” she asked.

“Mine, I think.” Jane refilled his glass so he wouldn’t have to look at Lisbon. He hoped she didn’t see that his hands were shaking slightly. “Never have I ever dated more than one person at the same time,” he said, letting his glass sit in front of him without touching it.

Lisbon also didn’t drink.

“Huh,” Jane made, “would you want to though?” He knew it might be dangerous to ask this, but what did he have to lose? The alcohol was starting to get to him.

“No?” Lisbon answered.

“I mean, what’s the point in limiting yourself to just one person?” Jane clarified.

“I didn’t see you drink either,” Lisbon challenged him. Seeing her like this brought back the warm feeling.

“Yeah, it’s not for me,” he explained, “not even in the beginning when you’re not sure yet if it’ll work out with the person you’re seeing, and you want to keep your options open. I’m more of a one-woman kind of guy.”

Lisbon had to laugh at Jane’s self-description. “You just said there’s no point in limiting yourself to just one person.”

“I was talking about you.”

“I’m not limiting myself.” It sounded defensive.

 _Why does she always feel the need to defend herself? I’m not judging her._ She had called him _roguishly handsome_ , she had said she liked his vests, she remembered he used to flirt with her … and then there was the way she kept looking at him. He refused to believe she was only acting like this because she was drunk. Drunk people often were more honest than sober people. If he could just get her to come out of her shell …

“You don’t know that, there might be other people out there, better options than Pike …” He knew he shouldn’t have said it the moment the words were out, but it was too late then.

Lisbon interrupted him. “Never have I ever smoked a joint.”

“Lisbon, I’m sorry,” Jane said quietly.

Lisbon drank. “Just tell me if you did it or not.”

Jane looked at her, confused. “Wait, did you just drink?”

“Yeah, so?” It was yet another challenge.

Jane had to swallow because Lisbon looked adorable and hot at the same time, and he was just so relieved that she didn’t seem to be angry with him. “Teresa Lisbon, when did _you_ smoke a joint?” At his use of her full name, he saw something shift in her face.

“In college,” she answered.

“I thought I knew you, but I don’t, apparently.”

“What about you?” Lisbon wanted to know.

“Oh, right.” He had completely forgotten to drink because Lisbon was distracting him, but he downed the shot now, then said, in a flirty tone of voice, “Surprised?”

“No,” Lisbon answered with a shrug.

“I’m disappointed.”

“You can’t really surprise me anymore,” Lisbon added.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

“Don’t sound so disappointed.”

Had he really sounded so disappointed that even Lisbon had picked up on it? He shook his head, needing to quickly reassure her he was fine. “I’m not, I see it as a challenge.”

She smiled at him. “Please, don’t.”

“Just you wait, before this night is over, I will have surprised you.”

Lisbon smirked. “Well, do your worst.” Then she refilled their glasses, handing one to Jane.

“Never have I ever dreamed about someone I liked,” Jane said as soon as he felt the cold, moist surface of the glass between his fingers.

Lisbon drank immediately. “Now _you’re_ getting boring.”

Jane drank as well. “It’s not boring if you have to tell me about the dream.” It was a different tactic, one that might finally work. Dreaming wasn’t so bad, and therefore Lisbon might admit she had had dreams about him.

“I will not.”

Or maybe it wouldn’t work.

“Stop arguing and tell me,” Jane insisted.

“I’ve had dreams about every boyfriend I’ve had, but those dreams are private,” Lisbon answered.

“Don’t be such a prude,” Jane said in a whiny voice.

“You tell me one of your dreams then.”

He would do no such thing. “I never remember my dreams in detail.”

Lisbon shook her head. “Nice trust building,” she said in a sarcastic tone of voice.

“You can’t use my own arguments against me, that’s against the rules,” Jane told her.

“What rules?”

Jane moved closer to Lisbon. He could feel the last bit of tension leaving his body now, and all he wanted was to be close to her. And by the way she also moved closer to him, he could tell she wanted the same.

“The rules of _Never Have I Ever_ ,” he answered.

“It doesn’t say so in my rule book.”

“What are we talking about again?”

Lisbon smelled nice, and she looked nice. It was dark outside by now; there was just a small table lamp behind her, illuminating her, and he could see how beautiful she was. Being this close to her distracted him. As did the alcohol.

“Your sex dreams,” Lisbon answered.

Jane grinned at her mischievously and shifted even closer to her. “I never said we had to share our _sex_ dreams.”

Lisbon looked horrified all of a sudden, as if she had only just realized she had been flirting with Jane and moving steadily closer to him. She leaned back to put some distance between them.

“Lisbon, I’m messing with you, I don’t want to hear about your sex dreams,” Jane assured her. That wasn’t entirely true, but he _definitely_ didn’t need to hear about them if they involved Pike. “It’s your turn.”

He sat up straight as well to refill their glasses, but immediately missed being close to her. Lisbon took her glass out of his hand, and as she did so, their fingers brushed, sending a jolt through Jane.

“Never have I ever advised someone to leave their partner,” Lisbon said.

Jane gulped down the tequila.

Lisbon smiled softly at him. “Yeah, you would’ve done that, wouldn’t you?”

“And you didn’t?” Jane wanted to know.

Lisbon shook her head slowly. “No, I’ve never been close enough to anyone for them to ask me for that kind of advice.”

Jane looked at her sadly.

“Honestly, it’s not a big deal,” she said, as soon as she saw how he looked at her.

Jane was glad to see that it really wasn’t, judging from her body language, but he still wanted to lighten the mood. “Do you want me to do a reading?”

“On what?”

“Your relationship.”

“Jane, no.” Lisbon didn’t move away from him though, and she also didn’t put up walls, so he decided to continue.

“That’s the reason why you said it, isn’t it?” he asked. “You want my opinion on Pike and that’s how you’re asking for it.” He hoped he hadn’t misread her.

Lisbon bit her bottom lip, but didn’t say anything.

“Do you want me to be honest?” Jane continued.

Lisbon nodded slowly.

Jane felt relief wash over him because he hadn’t read her wrong and she really wanted his opinion on Pike. Maybe they could get through a conversation on Lisbon’s boyfriend without either of them fleeing the scene.

“All right … I think Pike is a good guy, but I think you’re hesitant to commit to him fully because he’s insecure and pushy.”

“How -?” Lisbon started.

Jane raised a hand to signal her to be quiet, and she stopped. “You’re worried that if you leave him it just proves you’re not made for a long-term relationship and you’ll ultimately die alone.” He looked at her carefully, but she made no motion to stop him. She was a mystery to him most of the time, but some things about her were glaringly obvious. “But isn’t it better to be alone and be able to be your true self instead of being in a relationship that might work superficially but ultimately makes everyone involved unhappy?”

Lisbon was at a loss for words.

Jane knew it was difficult for her to hear this. “You don’t have to say anything, just think about it.” _That’s all I’m asking_ _._ “And remember – if you decide to leave Pike, you won’t be alone. You’ll still have your job and Fisher and Cho and your brothers … and me. I won’t leave you, I promise.”

Jane saw Lisbon’s jaw tighten. “But you already left so many times, I’m not sure I can trust that promise.”

He felt uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was taking and moved to put some space between himself and Lisbon on the couch. “But I always came back to you and I always will.” He took her hands in his; it was a spur of the moment decision, but it felt like the right thing to do.

This was followed by a long pause. She let her hands comfortably rest in his. They weren’t breaking eye contact – there was no more hiding, the walls were down.

“Are you asking me to leave Pike?”

Jane froze. This wasn’t what he wanted. Well, of course it was, but he couldn’t ask her to do it. He had asked her to change her life for him once before and she had resented him for it, was still resenting him for it. There was no way he would repeat that mistake.

“I have no right to ask this of you.”

It was obvious Lisbon didn’t want to let it go. “But let’s say you had that right … would you ask me to?”

He felt a weight on his chest, pressing down painfully, and knew she could see on his face how much this was hurting him. He wanted nothing more than for her to leave Pike, but he couldn’t tell her that. “I want you to do what makes you happy,” he finally said.

“Hearing your opinion would make me happy,” Lisbon said softly.

Jane swallowed hard. “No, it wouldn’t.” Putting her in a situation where she had to choose between himself and Pike wouldn’t be fair.

Lisbon’s face hardened. “Okay.”

Jane knew it was better to hurt her by not letting her in than to hurt her by asking her to leave the one good thing that had happened to her for _him_. If she wanted to be with him, it would make him the happiest man on earth, but she would have to make that choice for herself.

“I’m sure whatever you decide will be the right thing.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She didn’t sound angry, just … disappointed. “It’s your turn.” She let go of Jane’s hands.

Jane knew when to leave her alone, so he refilled his glass. He didn’t feel like playing this game anymore, but he couldn’t let it end like this, so he decided to say the most ridiculous thing he could think of. “Never have I ever been in handcuffs, for any reason.”

It worked. Lisbon forgot to be disappointed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just trying to lighten the mood,” Jane said honestly.

Lisbon rolled her eyes but drank. Jane did too, fast, then put down his glass, desperate to hear this story.

“When? How?”

“It’s not the sexy answer you’re hoping for,” Lisbon said teasingly.

Jane was incredibly relieved to hear her tease him again. A big smile spread across his face. “I’m not hoping for anything.”

“The day you … killed Red John,” Lisbon started carefully, “the FBI arrested me and Rigsby and Cho and Van Pelt and put us in handcuffs.”

“That is a sexy answer,” Jane assured her.

Lisbon raised her eyebrows at him.

“I mean the memory of you standing up for me like that,” Jane clarified.

“And yet you make sure I regret it every day.”

“You have to admit your life wouldn’t be half as much fun without me.” Jane moved so he was closer to Lisbon again. The mood had shifted, it was more playful now, and he thought he could risk it.

“I don’t know about that,” Lisbon said hesitantly. “I was close to putting you in handcuffs myself a couple of times actually.”

Somehow, the thought of Lisbon putting him in handcuffs shut down his brain. It was something to add to the list of things he needed to examine when he was alone in his bedroom. He just hoped he wasn’t blushing again. His only way out of this was to follow the path she had opened up for him.

“Why didn’t you then?” He cocked an eyebrow at her.

Lisbon laughed, but she also moved closer to him again. “Never say never.”

Jane had no idea what was going on all of a sudden. Everything had shifted, and not just slightly. This felt like being trapped in an alternate reality – whatever it was that was going on, he was _very_ into it.

“Do you _want_ me to break the law?” he asked, his voice a low rumble.

Lisbon moved her hand, so it was lying on the couch right next to Jane’s leg, which she was touching with her fingertips. “If you’re so desperate to be arrested again, all you have to do is ask.”

It wasn’t fair she of her to say something like that to him while looking so hot, while sitting so close, while touching him in a spot she usually didn’t even come close to. “I’m not gonna make it easy for you – if you want to see me in handcuffs, you’ll have to work for it.”

Lisbon snorted with laughter. Jane thought it was the most wonderful sound he had ever heard; it sounded carefree, like she was completely at ease. He couldn’t help but grin.

“What’s so funny?”

Lisbon took a deep breath. “Nothing, I’m just drunk.” There were tears in her eyes from laughing so much.

“I’m happy that you think me getting arrested is funny,” Jane said teasingly.

This made Lisbon laugh even more. “We need to talk about something else before I die from laughter,” she said while trying to catch her breath.

Jane couldn’t take his eyes off her: He couldn’t believe how cute and adorable and beautiful Lisbon looked when she was relaxed like this, and he promised himself to make sure she was always at ease around him in future. He carefully refilled their glasses, then nodded to signal her he was okay with her moving on.

“Never have I ever had a one-night stand,” Lisbon said.

When they had started this game, Jane would never have expected Lisbon to say something like that. But here they were. He finished his shot, well aware they were getting into dangerous territory now and should probably stop while they still could.

Lisbon drank as well without breaking eye contact. “You first,” she said, flicking her tongue out to wet her lips.

“Lorelei,” Jane answered without hesitation. “When I was in Vegas.”

Lisbon hit is arm. “I cannot believe you slept with her!”

“Hey!” Jane protested. “Calm down.”

“Why did you sleep with her?” Lisbon demanded to know.

This time he was ninety per cent sure she sounded jealous. “I needed Red John to believe I was vulnerable.”

“Anyone else I should know about?” Lisbon asked.

Yes, she _was_ jealous. “No.”

“Be honest or I’m gonna go get my handcuffs,” Lisbon threatened.

“I’m telling the truth,” Jane assured her. “As much as it pains me, when I hear you make a promise like this.”

“Threat, not promise,” Lisbon corrected him.

“Potato, potahto.”

That made her giggle again.

They were so close now, both half-sitting, half-lying on the couch, their knees touching, arms and hands brushing frequently. To Jane, it was pure bliss.

“Don’t think you can distract me that easily,” he said slowly, sluggishly. “Who was your one-night stand?”

Lisbon blushed. “Mashburn.”

“I knew it!” Jane shouted triumphantly.

“You’re not angry?”

“Why would I be angry? That was ages ago.” _And you’re not my girlfriend_.

Lisbon shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“I could never be angry with you for doing something that makes you happy,” Jane assured her. “Did he make you _happy_?”

Lisbon rolled her eyes and shook her head, but also blushed.

“Oh?” Jane made. “Several times? In one night or …?”

“Jane …”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” he raised his hands in an appeasing gesture, “the handcuffs. I’m just gonna …”

He pushed himself off the couch to refill the glasses, pressing his leg against Lisbon’s while doing so, and she steadied him with a hand on his chest. Once the glasses were full, he handed one to Lisbon, then let himself fall back down again, spilling some of his tequila.

He sighed. “Never have I ever flirted with someone when I knew they were taken.”

“Not on purpose,” Lisbon said.

“But on accident?” Jane asked.

“I don’t know … what about you?”

Jane drank quickly.

“On purpose?” Lisbon asked, her eyes wide.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, various reasons,” Jane shrugged. “Because I could, I guess, because I wanted to win over that person.” He couldn’t help but notice that Lisbon hadn’t asked him yet who he was talking about.

“And how did that work out for you?” she wanted to know instead.

He shrugged again. “Eh.”

“What do you mean, ‘eh’? Did you win her over or not?”

Jane opened his mouth to tell her he didn’t know yet. He desperately wanted to tell her he was talking about her, but he knew they were both too drunk to have this conversation right now. He would only regret having talked to her once the sun rose.

“I didn’t,” he said finally.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” She sounded genuinely sorry.

“No, it’s fine,” he assured her. “She did what made her happy in the end.” Maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

“You look sad,” Lisbon observed.

“I’m not … I just don’t think there’s any harm in flirting with someone, even when you know they’re taken, just as long as you respect the other person’s boundaries.”

“What’s your opinion on people flirting even though they are in a relationship?” Lisbon asked.

“Why not?” Jane answered. “As long as you are honest with yourself, the person you’re flirting with, and your partner.”

“How do you mean?”

“Flirting is essentially mostly talking, and talking isn’t illegal,” Jane explained.

“It’s just talking?” Lisbon sounded surprised.

Jane shrugged.

“What about this then?” Lisbon put her hand softly on Jane’s lower arm.

His sleeves were still rolled up and he could feel the heat of her hand on his skin, making it tingle. He looked at her in disbelief, very much aware his face was growing hot. “Well, that also isn’t illegal.” His voice sounded raspy. “You don’t have to stop touching people just because you are in a relationship.”

“And this?” Lisbon moved her hand from Jane’s bare arm to his leg. She put it there, much higher up than his hand had been during the party. And she didn’t even blink, watching his reaction.

Jane had to use all his willpower not to flinch. It was glaringly obvious to him now why Lisbon always tensed up when he touched her. He had thought nothing would be able to top their conversation about the handcuffs, but here they were, her hand on his leg, him feeling confused … and _turned on_.

“It’s … suggestive:” His voice broke in the middle of the sentence.

“So am I crossing a line?” Lisbon asked. Her voice sounded just as raspy as Jane’s had moments ago.

“I mean, if it becomes more than flirting you need to decide what you want to do, so it’s fair to yourself, your partner, and the person you’re flirting with,” he said quickly. _H_ _er hand is still there, why is it still there?_ “Even if you want to have an affair, that’s fine; in that case probably don’t tell your partner, but tell the person you’re flirting with, so you’re both on the same page.”

Lisbon removed her hand. “I’m confused, I don’t even know what we’re talking about anymore.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Jane lied.

Lisbon moved away to refill Jane’s glass for him, but then she was back, moving closer to him than ever before, as close as she could come without cuddling up to him.

“Never have I ever played strip poker,” she said.

Jane smirked. “Oh, you’re raising the stakes. I like it.” Then he drank.

Lisbon didn’t move, just gazed at him softly.

“You don’t want to know?” Jane asked.

“No, I don’t.” Why was her voice so soft all of a sudden?

“You must be curious, or you wouldn’t have asked,” Jane pointed out.

“All right, tell me,” Lisbon agreed.

“I was young and needed the money.”

“Oh, ha ha,” she laughed drily. “There’s no money in strip poker, that’s the point.”

“I _was_ young,” Jane insisted. “It was a long time ago, with a couple of friends. And we didn’t have any money, you’re right, hence the strip poker.”

“Did you win?”

“Depends on what you consider winning in strip poker,” Jane said with a wink.

She sighed. “Yeah, that sounds like you.”

“And you never …?” he asked. “Not even during your wild, joint-smoking college days?”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“Then we’ll play strip poker for our next game night,” Jane decided.

Lisbon raised her hands protectively. “Oh no!”

“Don’t be a spoilsport.”

“I’m not playing strip poker with _you_ ,” Lisbon said with emphasis.

He looked at her innocently. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You’re gonna cheat.”

“I won’t.”

“You will, and I’ll be naked, and you will be fully dressed. I’m not embarrassing myself like that.”

“Now where would be the fun in that?”

“Just give up, I’ve had what? Seven … eight,” she tried to count, “shots and I’m not saying yes, so there’s no way in hell –”

“Nine shots,” Jane corrected her.

“What?”

“You’ve had nine and I’ve had fifteen.”

Lisbon stared at him “How are you still sitting up straight?”

Jane had to laugh because he hadn’t been sitting straight for about five rounds. “Do you want me to lie down?”

“Maybe we should stop,” Lisbon said carefully.

“No, please, Lisbon, just one or two more. I’ve got a good one.” He refilled his glass, spilling a bit of tequila onto the floor in the process, then cleared his throat. “Never have I ever been invited to a threesome.” He knew he was overstepping a line, but, at this point, he was too drunk to care.

Lisbon downed the shot without hesitation.

Jane sat up straight, spilling half of his tequila on the couch and his trousers. “What? Who invited you? Did you say yes?” The words came tumbling out of his mouth, racing each other. There were so many things he wanted – needed – to know.

Lisbon giggled adorably, then leaned forward and nudged Jane’s nose for her index finger. “You did.”

She was so close to him now that it would have been easy to close the distance and just kiss her. Her lips were right there in front of him and he glanced down at her mouth, wondering what they would feel like against his, wondering what she would taste like, wondering what kissing her would do to him. But he couldn’t do it.

He scrunched up his face. “I did? When?”

“Well, not really,” Lisbon corrected herself quickly. “You wanted to rout out a hooker … you really don’t remember?”

“Did you say yes?”

“No, obviously.”

“Did you want to say yes?” he mumbled. He wasn’t sure if it had been a coherent sentence, but he was beyond caring. All he knew was that she was close to him and oh so beautiful, and that he couldn’t stop thinking about kissing her.

Lisbon hesitated briefly, then said, “No.”

“No strip poker, no threesome … you don’t want to have any fun in your life.”

“I’m playing this stupid game with you,” Lisbon reminded him.

“And are you having fun?” He didn’t really need to ask her this. She looked happy and relaxed, her face was flushed slightly from the alcohol, the humid weather, from laughing until her chest hurt. There was no tension in the way she held her body, the way she looked at him. And they were talking about threesomes, for Christ’s sake – usually, she would have bolted.

“Yes,” Lisbon answered.

“Really?” He was just teasing her now.

“Yes, a lot, actually.”

Jane was filled with so much warmth at hearing her say these four words that he didn’t know what to do with himself. All he was capable of was grinning like an idiot. “Is it because I said you can put me in handcuffs?”

Lisbon stood up. “And suddenly I’m not having fun anymore.”

But Jane knew she was just teasing, she had to be just teasing. There was this sparkle in her eyes telling him it was a challenge. She was challenging him to hold her back, to make her stay, so he grabbed her wrist.

“Please, Lisbon, just one more.”

Lisbon sat back down again, but she made no motion to refill the glasses. Instead, she just looked at Jane and said, “Never have I ever accidentally said ‘I love you’ to someone.”

Jane didn’t move.

“No? Never?” Lisbon pressed.

“I get the feeling you have a specific instance in mind,” Jane said slowly, carefully.

“Yeah, I have.”

Jane felt that _something_ had shifted again, away from the playfulness. Things were getting serious now. “Tell me,” he said.

“What’s the point?” She sounded exasperated, not carefree. “You’ll just pretend you don’t remember … again.”

“Try me.”

“A few years ago, when we were trying to catch Red John and you pretended to shoot me … you said you loved me before you pulled the trigger,” Lisbon said quickly.

“I did,” Jane confirmed.

“But it was accidentally.”

“It wasn’t.”

“It was.”

“No, Lisbon. I meant it.” Pretending that he couldn’t remember saying it had been a mistake, one he had regretted for many years. He had done it at the time to protect Lisbon from Red John … and from himself. But he wouldn’t repeat the mistakes of the past, he had promised himself that.

“Then why did you say you couldn’t remember when I asked you about it?” It was just like Lisbon to always demand an explanation for everything.

“I don’t know,” he lied. “It was a stupid thing to do … but I’ll say it again if it makes you happy.”

“Jane …”

“I love you, Teresa.”

The words were out, and Lisbon could do with them whatever she wanted. They weren’t his responsibility anymore, his burden to carry. He felt relief wash over him, knowing that no matter what Lisbon did with this information, he would be able to live with it. The most important thing was that she _knew_.

But Lisbon didn’t do anything. She just looked at him with so much pain and longing in her eyes that he couldn’t take it.

“We should go to bed,” he said, trying to stand up but failing.

“ _You_ should go to bed,” she corrected him. “Come on.” She got up then held out her hand for him. He took it, pushing himself off the couch, miscalculating the amount of force he had to use, which ultimately made him bump into her, knocking the air out of the both of them.

“You’re really drunk,” Lisbon observed, as he put an arm around her shoulder.

“And you’re really pretty,” Jane countered.

Lisbon carefully led him through the living room and into the kitchen. She told him to hold on to the handrail while doing her best to maneuver him up the stairs. Jane tried to help, but he missed a step more than once and stumbled, which earned him a shake of the head from Lisbon every time. It also earned him a whispered, “Carefully,” which made his heart flutter.

They somehow made it into his bedroom without an accident, and Jane let himself fall onto his bed immediately, even if it meant that the world started spinning around him. The only constant was Lisbon’s face in front of him, blurred but also solid, looking down at him. He couldn’t make out her features, didn’t know whether she was still happy or angry or tired or all three. It was unnerving.

Then she was close to him, squatting down next to his bed, a hand on his shoulder. “Good night, Patrick,” she murmured, and for a moment Jane thought she would lean in and kiss him on the cheek, but the moment passed, and she stood up again, then turned to leave the room.

Jane grabbed her wrist. “Stay,” he said softly. “Please.”

“Yes,” she agreed without hesitation, as if she had just been waiting for him to ask this of her. “I’ll just change into something more comfortable. I’ll be right back.” She carefully removed his hand from her wrist, which earned her a disapproving growl. “I promise.”

She was beating him at his own game.

Jane watched her leave, then sat up again, which took him longer than he would have liked, and took off his shoes. That was the easy part. Getting out of his pants took him much longer, but he managed in the end without falling out of the bed and giving himself a concussion. Taking off his shirt and boxers was out of the question; one, because he had no idea how to unbutton his shirt in the state he was in, and two, because he wanted to retain some of his decency in front of Lisbon.

Lisbon came back, dressed in dark blue, matching pajamas, consisting of silken shorts and a sleeveless shirt. He heard her put down a glass of water on his nightstand. Then she hesitated briefly, before climbing into bed next to him. It was a king-sized bed, there was more than enough room for the both of them, but it felt like they lay pressed together like sardines in a can. They weren’t touching, she wasn’t even looking at him, and yet it felt so intimate, so familiar it took his breath away.

Jane moved so he was lying on his side facing her. Lisbon was on her back, her hands folded on her stomach, staring at the ceiling. He could feel his eyes falling shut, could feel sleep finally taking over his brain, but he had to tell her something before he passed out, and if he didn’t do it now, he would never find the courage again.

“We should have played _Truth or Dare_ ,” he mumbled into the darkness.

He felt Lisbon move, so he opened his eyes to see she was now also lying on her side, facing him. Her eyes were open, and he couldn’t see any tiredness in them, just curiosity.

“Why’s that?” she asked softly.

Her gaze was too much for him, he couldn’t get the words out when there was nothing left between them to hide behind, so he turned to his other side, away from her. He swallowed, once, twice, then closed his eyes and mumbled the words against the soft fabric of his pillow.

“Because I really want you to kiss me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I can't get this thing with the handcuffs out of my head, I might have to write something about that ...


	7. Andiamo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane let go of the fork he had been holding and put his right hand next to Lisbon’s left one on the table, very slowly, very deliberately, so their fingers were brushing slightly, making her skin tingle as if a butterfly had landed there. “I always knew you had a wild side, Teresa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I know is that darts is a cursed game and I could never play it because I suck at math. I also learned a lot more about luxury yachts than I ever wanted to know while writing this chapter. And did you know you can take a virtual tour of Sloppy Joe's? That was actually really helpful because I never went inside when I was in Key West. And it doesn't have the things I wanted it to have for the sake of the story, so I had to make up something anyway.
> 
> But yeah, anyway, back to Jane and Lisbon and to what happened on the morning after ...

_I love you, Teresa_.

Lisbon slowly opened her eyes, waking up from a dream. Jane had been there, had looked at her with big eyes, his face flushed, his curls messier than she had ever seen them; and then he had said these four words to her.

It had been a good dream, and she wanted to hold on to this feeling of being loved as long as possible. When Jane had said he loved her in her dream it hadn’t triggered her fight-or-flight response, like Pike had done by saying the same. Instead, it had activated something else: the need to say it back, to assure Jane she felt the same about him. Because she did, didn’t she? And she needed him to know his feelings weren’t unrequited, needed him to know she would be his if he just asked her to be. But something had woken her up before she could say the words, “I love you, too”.

She was fully awake now, sitting up. She looked around the room, momentarily confused as to where she was. The early morning sunlight was falling in through the windows at an odd angle, and she recognized neither the bed sheets nor the smell around her. And then it hit her. It hadn’t been a dream. She was in Jane’s bed. And the smell wasn’t foreign at all … it was Jane’s.

Only, she was alone. The bed next to her was empty. The sheets were rumpled, but she was definitely alone. A hazy memory of the previous evening was slowly coming back to her. They had played a drinking game, she had told Jane all sorts of embarrassing things about herself, she had been drunk, he had been drunker, and then he had told her he loved her. She had wanted to say it back, pull him close, hold him, kiss him, but he had been so drunk, much drunker than she had ever seen him, and she hadn’t been sober herself – it wouldn’t have been right. It had taken her all her willpower and then some to resist him.

Jane couldn’t have meant it, could he? At least not in the way she wanted him to mean it. He might love her as a friend, but Lisbon couldn’t believe it was more than that. During the game, she had given him countless opportunities to make a move, some of them only because of the alcohol in her blood. The memory of her hand on his leg made her face grow hot with embarrassment, the memory of talking about his vests made her heart race, the memory of asking him if he wanted her to leave Pike brought back a bitter taste in her mouth. But he hadn’t done or said anything, so he couldn’t really be in love with her.

Carefully, she climbed out of the bed, trying to ignore the dull throbbing in her head. She was definitely hungover. Her eyes came to rest on an empty glass on Jane’s nightstand and she regretted not having gotten some water for herself before falling asleep. But then curiosity got the better of her.

Jane’s room was bigger than hers. Instead of her two French doors leading outside, he had three. But it was also darker, more manly somehow. The ceiling was wooden, as was the floor, there was a wooden chest of drawers opposite the bed, and in the light of day she could see that the nightstands were actually refurbished oil barrels. The only thing that seemed momentarily out of place was a zebra-print carpet, but then she decided it fit the “hunter’s lodge”-aesthetic the room was trying to emulate. None of the things she saw seemed like Jane.

But there were small pieces of him scattered around the room, like an old shirt flung over a chair in the corner or a used teacup she only spotted now, sitting on top of the chest of drawers, or an open book on his nightstand. _His_ nightstand – was she really already thinking in terms of _his_ and _hers_? Imagining Patrick Jane even _having_ a nightstand or sleeping in a normal bed seemed odd to her.

Her eyes finally came back to the piece of furniture in question, a king-sized bed, made from the same dark wood as the chest of drawers, and she remembered he had asked her to stay with him. His voice and touch had been soft, making sure she knew it was her choice. He hadn’t manipulated her into staying, hadn’t taken advantage of the state she had been in, and she had readily agreed. She might have done it anyway, because her drunk self had needed to wake up in the same bed as Jane. Her drunk self had needed a lot of things. And she had been happy – happier than she remembered being in a long time. Jane had been happy too, they had been comfortable around each other and at ease. And even though she had been reluctant to participate in the game at first, she had to admit she’d had a lot of fun. She needed to hold on to that feeling and she knew it wouldn’t be hard, as long as she was here in Key West with Jane.

There were also other aspects about the evening that had been fun, apart from the game. She had made Jane blush, more than once, and she _needed_ to do that again, she _needed_ to see him smitten and at a loss for words and know that she had done that. It might be fun to see how far she needed to go to see him lose his cool again, and she was prepared to find out. There was no harm in flirting with him even though she had a boyfriend, he had said so himself. And, as luck would have it, she actually _had_ to flirt with him. For a case.

Lisbon decided there was no reason to hide in Jane’s bedroom any longer (apart from being able to smell him everywhere), and her heart started beating excitedly once she had come to the decision to go downstairs. He wasn’t just a dream anymore, he was real, and she would see him in a minute and then spend the day with him.

Before she left the bedroom, she remembered something else about the previous night, something she had said to him while being caught up in the thrill of flirting with him, and how he had reacted. She turned around to look at his bed again and saw that the headboard was made of dowels, so it was actually possible … no, she was going to far, she wasn’t drunk anymore. And she couldn’t face Jane with a face burning red from thinking inappropriate thoughts.

As soon as she came downstairs, the smell of Jane was replaced by an entirely different smell, one of coffee and eggs, and even though she felt sick, she also felt her stomach rumbling at the possibility of breakfast. Jane had set the kitchen table – apart from eggs, there was also toast and avocado and various vegetables. But the most important thing was that Jane himself was there, beaming at her as soon as he spotted her, and she couldn’t help but grin at him like an idiot.

“Morning,” he said.

“Morning,” she repeated.

The shorts were back, but she didn’t mind them so much now. He was still wearing last night’s shirt, his hair was still tousled adorably, and there was no regret or embarrassment in his eyes. No more walls.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

Lisbon hesitated for a moment before answering, “I have a headache, but otherwise fine.”

“Yeah, me too,” he said, grinning at her. “That’s why I made this.” He nodded toward the breakfast table.

“How did you sleep?” Lisbon wanted to know.

“You snore,” was his answer.

“I do not!”

“You do, but it’s not so loud that it kept me up all night.”

“Yeah, well, you could have waited until I woke up, instead of letting me try to piece together why I was in your bed on my own,” Lisbon shot back, feeling red hot anger flaring up inside of her.

His grin turned to a soft, warm smile. “And do you still need help with that?”

Lisbon couldn’t stay angry with him. “No, I don’t,” she answered. “I know what happened last night.”

“You don’t regret it.” It was an observation, not a statement.

“I don’t,” she confirmed.

“Me neither.”

Lisbon felt incredibly relieved to hear these two words. She didn’t regret one single second of what had happened between them last night, and she had been scared he did, wanting to assure her he had been drunk, that he hadn’t meant it when he had said he loved her, that he, again, would pretend not to remember. However, she was still unsure what she wanted to do with this new information, and she had a feeling Jane could tell. Despite his smiles, he acted carefully around her, and she was glad he did. She needed to take things slowly, she needed to decide what _she_ wanted to do, what would make _her_ happy. And she needed to be absolutely certain about Jane’s feelings toward her before she could decide. She needed to see how he acted around her in broad daylight without fifteen shots of tequila clouding his judgement.

So far, he hadn’t disappointed her. There was no awkwardness between them anymore, but Lisbon also knew they needed to talk about yesterday, preferably after breakfast or before dinner at the latest. And until then, she wanted to see how this new yet ancient thing between them played out, and she would make sure to enjoy every second of it.

“Good,” she said. “Shall we?”

She sat down at the breakfast table and waited for Jane to join her. He didn’t hesitate and sat down next to her. Despite it being a large table, he had set two places next to each other, which made her happy because she wanted nothing more than to be close to him right now.

“I have news,” Jane revealed to her once she had finished half of her eggs and one and a half cups of coffee. “We’re meeting Kris again. Today.”

“Today?” Lisbon echoed.

“She called when you were still asleep, said she wanted to go over some details with us, about our membership …,” he continued.

“Does that mean we’re in?” Lisbon wasn’t able to keep the excitement out of her voice.

“It’s almost as if you can’t wait to break the law,” Jane said with a smirk.

“How do you mean?” Lisbon asked. She propped her right elbow up on the table, coffee cup in hand, and waited for Jane’s explanation.

“I’m just saying … we might have to do illegal things if we get accepted,” he answered with a shrug.

Lisbon’s excitement was replaced with worry. “Did she say something to you?”

Jane smiled softly. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll make an excellent thief.”

Lisbon raised an eyebrow at him, and deliberately lowered her voice when she said, “Is that the best you can do?” She was flirting with Patrick Jane in broad daylight, completely sober, just for her benefit – and she didn’t mind.

Jane let go of the fork he had been holding and put his right hand next to Lisbon’s left one on the table, very slowly, _very_ deliberately, so their fingers were brushing slightly, making her skin tingle as if a butterfly had landed there. “I always knew you had a wild side, Teresa.”

His closeness and the way he had said her name made her shiver. And when had he started calling her _Teresa_ anyway?

* * *

They left shortly after midday. Kris had offered to meet with them on her boat which was anchored at Key West Bight Marina. It would only take them five minutes to get there from their house on foot, so they walked. Despite the breakfast, Lisbon still had a headache and the bright sunshine only increased the pain, so she had donned a pair of sunglasses, and was relieved to see Jane wasn’t better off when he met her downstairs with a pair of his own sunglasses perched on top of his nose. If he had been able to take fifteen shots of tequila better than she could nine, her pride would have been hurt.

As soon as they were out on the street, their hands found each other, and their fingers intertwined. Neither of them initiated it, they hadn’t talked about doing it for Kris’ sake, it just happened naturally. It felt like the right thing to do. Lisbon glanced at Jane, who was telling her a fun fact about Key West, not really paying attention to the story, but checking if he looked as happy as she felt.

He did. Even though she couldn’t see his eyes behind the sunglasses, she could still see his smile and noticed the spring in his step. She herself felt happier than she had in months, in years even. She knew they would have to talk eventually about what had happened between them, and she needed to ask him about the confession he had made to her last night, but that could wait. They needed to focus on the case right now, and she didn’t want to let go of her happiness just yet, fearing that Jane’s behavior toward her would change if she addressed certain issues.

They came to a crossing and Jane let go of her hand. She immediately mourned the loss of contact, but then his hand was on the small of her back, guiding her across the street, making sure she reached the other side safely. Him showing that he cared for her with such small gestures made her feel giddy with happiness and she had to take a couple of deep breaths to ground herself. What also helped with that was entwining her fingers with Jane’s again the moment they stepped onto the sidewalk. Jane blushed when she squeezed his hand possessively.

Jane was still telling her something about Key West’s history; he sounded like his usual self. She couldn’t help but stare at him, his flushed cheeks, his grin, and she remembered she was the one doing this to him. It felt good to make him happy. When he felt her eyes on him, he turned to look at her, and Lisbon didn’t look away. She blushed herself though, at seeing the mischievous smile on his face. Her throat, suddenly, felt dry.

Jane let go of her hand again, but before she could do something as undignified as protest, his arm was around her shoulder, and he let his fingers run softly across her bare arm for a moment before pulling her close. She reciprocated his touch by putting her arm around his waist. The voice at the back of her mind asking her what the hell she was doing could easily be ignored because they had arrived at the marina by then and had to act like two people in love anyway.

“Hey, you guys!” It was Kris, waving at them from a huge yacht.

Lisbon had expected a small boat, no more than five or six yards in length. She hadn’t expected a yacht more than 50 yards long, several stories high, bright white in color with the word _Andiamo_ written on its side in curved dark blue letters. Kris was waving at them from a sundeck near the bow of the ship. Luckily, a sun canopy was covering the deck because Lisbon’s head would have exploded sitting in direct sunlight.

They walked across the gangway; Lisbon stepped carefully with Jane walking behind her, until she felt his hand on her waist, guiding her along. And once she was on board, she discovered that there was not much difference to being on land. Kris was waiting for them on the sundeck. It was equipped with big wicker chairs and a table full of fruits and refreshments laid out for them. Lisbon had the feeling that after their party the previous day, Kris wanted to impress them.

“I’m so glad you could make it on such short notice,” Kris said. She pulled Lisbon into a tight hug, then Jane, lingering, her eyes closed. But before Lisbon could feel jealous, Kris let go and pointed at the wicker chairs. “Please, sit down.”

Jane picked one of the chairs and let himself fall into it, finally shifting fully into his character. He took off his sunglasses and carelessly dropped them on a small table next to him. Lisbon briefly hesitated before deciding that having a chair of her own would put too much distance between herself and Jane, so she sat down on the armrest of Jane’s. He raised an eyebrow at her, but she ignored him.

“So, Kris,” Lisbon started, lifting her own sunglasses and perching them on top of her head. “Patrick tells me you might have changed your mind.”

“I did,” Kris confirmed. “I think it might be worth giving you a shot after all.”

“Why this sudden change of heart?” Jane wanted to know. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“It was Teresa, actually,” Kris answered, beaming at Lisbon.

“Oh?” Lisbon made for two reasons.

The first one was that she was genuinely surprised by Kris’ answer considering she had almost ruined the case during that first meeting. The second reason was that Jane’s right hand was currently on her lower back, his fingers tracing lazy patters, making her shiver despite the midday heat.

“Yes, when you told me about … your opinion on marriage, I could see that you really are in love with Patrick.” She smiled that same dreamy smile again. “I’m sorry I ever doubted your feelings for him; you can never be too careful these days.” Kris stood up to fill two glasses with lemonade for Jane and Lisbon. “So … are you engaged yet?” she asked, handing them the glasses.

“No,” Lisbon said, blushing.

“I’m just waiting for the right moment,” Jane added. “I want it to be perfect.”

“Any thoughts on the engagement ring?”

Jane smirked. “I can’t tell you that, I want it to be a surprise for Teresa.”

Lisbon wished hearing him use her first name wouldn’t send chills down her spine. “Patrick is very secretive,” she told Kris.

“The reason I’m asking is that three days ago two very expensive pieces of jewelry arrived in Key West,” Kris continued, “the La Peregrina necklace and the Sunrise Ruby ring. They’re both currently kept at the Four Seasons hotel under twenty-four-hour high security protection. I want you to steal them for us. If you are successful, you’ll officially become members of the group. And I’ll let you keep the ring.”

“No problem,” Jane said immediately.

Lisbon had to fight down the urge to jump up and start pacing across the deck nervously. Instead, she took a deep breath and said, “When do you want it? Patrick can get it to you in less than twenty-four hours.”

“Really?” Kris asked, sounding impressed.

“He could walk right past security and out of the hotel in broad daylight with the boxes under his arm,” Lisbon continued. “He’s _that_ good.”

There it was, the blush she had longed to see. She could see Jane was fighting down the urge to beam at her. Instead, he pinched her side, like she had done to him the previous day. She yelped and grabbed his hand, removing it from her back, but holding onto it.

“Teresa is exaggerating, of course,” Jane said. “No one is _that_ good.”

“You are,” Lisbon insisted. “One time he stole a pearl necklace right off the neck of the woman wearing it.”

“That’s not hard,” Jane pointed out. “But walking past security … most likely all men …”

Lisbon rolled her eyes. “Just take the compliment.”

“Sorry, babe,” he said, letting go of her hand and instead moving his to rest on her thigh, much higher up than he had dared to put it the previous day.

This time, Lisbon didn’t flinch or run away. Instead, she simply looked at Jane and then at Kris, feeling proud when she saw a hint of jealousy flash across her face.

“No, seriously,” Lisbon said, trying to keep a straight face when Jane started to move his thumb again. “When do you want us to do it?”

“That’s up to you,” Kris said with a shrug. “I don’t like telling people how to do their job.”

“Give us five days,” Jane said. “We’ll get it to you by Friday.”

“All right,” Kris agreed.

“And what happens next?” Lisbon wanted to know. “Let’s say we’re successful, what do you expect of us and what will you be able to offer us?”

The way Jane moved his thumb, a light but deliberate touch, was driving her crazy. She had trouble keeping up with the conversation, trouble focusing on anything but the feeling his hand on her leg had sparked in the pit of her stomach. But this time she wouldn’t let him keep the upper hand. She needed to get back at him for doing this to her.

“I expect you to treat this group like family,” Kris answered. “We are a team; there won’t be any going off on your own. We share everything equally.”

Lisbon put her left arm around Jane’s shoulder and let her hand wander up until she reached his curls. She dug her fingers into his hair, moving slowly, lightly running them through it. His hair felt softer than she had expected, lighter somehow, and instead of giving her the upper hand, she was distracted even more by the intimacy of it. But when she saw his eyelids flutter at her touch, she knew she was on the right path to winning this little game between them.

“But we also support each other one hundred percent, no matter what,” Kris continued. “We would never betray each other. If you join us, you can rely on us for the rest of your lives.”

“That sounds serious,” Jane said with a smirk, evidently having regained his composure.

Kris turned to him and Lisbon could see in her eyes that she really was serious about this. “It is. Our little community is part of the reason why we’re so successful.”

“When will we get to meet the others?” Jane asked. “How many of you are there?”

Kris smiled at him secretively. “Don’t worry about that now, you’ll meet them soon enough.”

Jane straightened his back, forcing Lisbon to grab his hair a little tighter so she wouldn’t fall of the armrest. He cleared his throat. “I would like to get to know the people I’m supposed to trust my life with before I decide whether I want to join you or not.”

“I can understand that,” Kris nodded, “but you will have to pass the test before I feel comfortable enough to let you meet them.”

Jane opened his mouth again, and Lisbon could see he was about to protest, so she cut in. “Yes, of course. We trust you.” Jane glanced at her and she shook her head slightly to signal him to give it a rest. Lisbon stood up. “I would like to freshen up,” she said. “Could you tell me where the bathroom is?”

Kris pointed over her shoulder to her left. “Just walk back the way you came from. There’s a door that leads inside, then go past the elevator, and it’s straight ahead.”

“Thanks,” Lisbon mumbled, wondering why there was an elevator on a boat. Then, without thinking, she leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Jane’s cheek. “Be right back, babe,” she said.

Jane reacted in a way she hadn’t expected. In fact, she hadn’t expected anything to happen because she hadn’t planned on kissing him. It had just happened automatically, like a routine task she did every day. Jane’s eyes widened, but he didn’t look at her, he continued to look straight ahead at Kris. Then she saw a flush making its way from his neck to his cheeks, and he cleared his throat again, leaned back, and crossed his legs.

 _Because I really want you to kiss me_.

He had said that to her, before they had fallen asleep. And she had forgotten about it. Until now. Now it was all coming back to her. And it hit her, the realization that this wasn’t a game at all, at the same time as she noticed she was still half-leaning over Jane and should start moving if she didn’t want Kris to notice something was off.

She started walking into the direction Kris had indicated, her legs shaky, trying to remember the way to the bathroom. _This isn’t a game, not anymore_ , was the only thought that had nestled itself inside her brain and was about to spread its seeds, infesting every corner of her mind until all she could think about was her and Jane, _them_ , always dancing around each other, never talking about their feelings. Until they got drunk together and suddenly it was transparent just how much they were in love with each other. And just as she had realized the day before that she loved Jane, she now was sure that Jane loved her back, even though he had been drunk when he had said it, and even drunker when he had admitted he wanted her to kiss him, but it didn’t matter. Drunk people often were more honest than sober ones.

She found the way into the ship and managed to get past the elevator and into the tiny bathroom. She locked the door and sat down on the closed toilet seat, burying her face in her hands. They needed to talk. The sooner the better. She needed to tell him she loved him too, needed to tell him she wanted him to kiss her over and over again until there was nothing left than his taste on her lips. And she needed to talk to Pike; it was only fair to him. Because there was no way she could go back to him, not if Jane loved her and wanted to be with her.

It scared her, like nothing had ever done before. But never before had she had feelings like this. For anyone. And just the possibility of Jane reciprocating these feelings made her so happy she had trouble breathing, thinking, focusing on anything other than Jane. Who was sitting outside, pretending to be her boyfriend, not knowing that there was nothing more she wanted in this world than for him to _stop_ pretending. She stood up, still a bit shaky on her legs, and turned on the faucet to let cold water run over her wrists to calm down because she couldn’t face Kris in the state she was in. Then she straightened her hair, pressed a cold hand to her hot cheek, unlocked the door, and stepped outside again.

Jane was there, right in front of her.

“You okay?” he asked carefully, noticing her flushed cheeks, her ragged breathing, her shaking hands.

She nodded. “I’m fine,” she said, smiling at him. She tried to ignore how close they were, almost touching, neither of them making a move to put more space between them. It would be easy to pull him a tiny bit closer still and just kiss him, but she couldn’t do it, not now, not with Kris right outside when there was no time to talk. _Later_ , she promised herself, staring into Jane’s eyes, willing him to read her thoughts. “How long do you think until we can leave?” she asked.

“Are you sure you’re fine?” he asked again emphatically. Then he raised his hand and put it against Lisbon’s forehead, then her cheek. “You’re hot.”

 _Thanks_ , was what Lisbon wanted to say.

“Honestly, it’s nothing,” was what she said, fighting the urge to press her cheek into his hand.

Then Jane realized just how close he was to her, so he lowered his hand and took a step back. “Come on then,” he said. He held out his hand which had, moments ago, been on her cheek.

She took it.

* * *

“We should go out to celebrate.”

Jane’s idea. Celebrating being one step closer to catching a murderer and getting back one of the most valuable diamonds in the world. And they were doing that now in, what Lisbon was sure, was a tourist trap. They advertised it as the bar Ernest Hemingway used to go to, and Lisbon assumed they were just doing it to attract people. She hadn’t read a single one of his books and didn’t plan to do so in the future, but Jane had insisted on going to this bar to celebrate their success with Kris, and Lisbon had agreed, thinking it might give them the opportunity to finally talk.

Now that they were here, she had to realize it wouldn’t be that easy. The bar was so crowded that it was almost impossible to move. Lisbon heard about twenty different languages while walking from the entrance through the main area to a smaller room at the back that was a bit quieter but still just as crowded. There was a long bar along one side of the room, behind it a big TV which was showing a baseball game. Half the people were watching the game, the other half were talking, shouting almost, to make themselves heard. Lisbon was sitting on a bar stool at a small, round table, the only unoccupied spot Jane had been able to find, staring at a framed photograph of Ernest Hemingway himself. His piercing gaze made her uncomfortable, so she scanned the crowd around her, trying to spot Jane at the bar who was getting drinks for them.

It was anything but the small cozy bar she had imagined, and she would definitely not be able to have a serious conversation with Jane while three guys at the table next to her were shouting at the TV. If she didn’t know better, she would have suspected Jane had picked this bar on purpose so they wouldn’t have to talk.

“Hey,” Jane said. He climbed onto the bar stool next to hers and handed her a bottle of cold beer. “Romantic, isn’t it?”

“You wanted to come here, not me,” she pointed out.

“You won’t find a better bar to get drunk in than this one in all of Key West,” Jane said, then took a sip of his beer.

“I’m not getting drunk again,” Lisbon told him.

“Me neither.” Another sip. “So, we did it.” He tried to look happy, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll give it another week and then we can go home again.”

 _Home_.

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Lisbon hadn’t wanted to address it, but now that Jane had mentioned it first, she wanted to voice her concerns. She moved closer to Jane so he would hear her and lowered her voice. “They want us to rob someone … how do you propose we do that?”

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Jane said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I’m sure we’ll come up with something.”

Lisbon sighed. “Do you think Kris did it? Or Louis? Kill that man, I mean?”

“No,” Jane told her. “Kris doesn’t seem the kind of woman who gets her hands dirty, and Louis is too dumb to kill someone.”

“Kris told me he protects her.”

“She likes to think he does, but he’ll run at the first sign of danger,” Jane said with a snort. “The only person I can imagine killing someone is Gabriel, but he isn’t part of the group. That’s why I wanted to meet the others as soon as possible.”

“Can I ask you something?” Lisbon asked.

“Sure, anything.” Jane grabbed her hand that was lying on the table next to the beer bottle and squeezed it reassuringly.

“What did you say to Gabriel yesterday, after I was gone?” Lisbon asked. “I saw you from my window; he looked terrified.”

Jane laughed at that. “Nothing,” he answered with a shrug. “I just told him a couple of things about himself he didn’t want to hear.”

“Be honest,” Lisbon reprimanded him.

“I am being honest,” Jane assured her. “It basically boiled down to me telling him he would never have a shot with a woman like you.”

Lisbon snorted. “He looked as if you’d just threatened to murder him.”

Jane cocked an eyebrow at her. “Maybe I did.” He was still holding her hand and squeezed it again. “Although I think you are more likely to do that yourself, judging from the tone of voice you used with him.”

“I was nothing but polite.”

“You can’t fool me,” Jane said with a knowing smile. “Most guys think you’re terrifying.”

“It’s a good thing you’re not like most guys then.” It was out before she could stop herself, but Jane’s smile only widened.

“Oh, you terrify me,” he admitted.

“Hush,” Lisbon said, but she had to take another sip of her beer to hide a smile.

Jane shifted on his stool so he could take a better look at her. “We did well,” he said slowly. “I’m almost sad it’ll be over soon.”

His eyes found hers and she saw he wasn’t teasing her. He really seemed genuinely sorry.

“We can always come back,” Lisbon pointed out. “I bet this is a nice place to unwind for a week or two.”

“I’m having trouble imagining you on holiday.” There was a sparkle in his eyes now.

“Hey, I can be relaxed,” Lisbon protested.

“When was the last time you went away on a holiday?” he asked. “I mean a real one, not just two days of you sitting in a hotel room, going crazy because you have nothing to do, and then coming back to work early.”

Lisbon wanted to tell him he had it all wrong, but then she thought about this question, and discovered she had no idea how to answer it. “I don’t remember,” she said slowly. “Maybe back when we were still working at the CBI?”

“See? That’s why I’m having trouble imagining you relaxing with a good book on a beach,” Jane said softly.

He reached out a hand and brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, just like he had done during their first meeting with Kris. They had done much more than that since then, but that small gesture felt so intimate it took her breath away. They weren’t doing it for Kris now, they were doing it for themselves, which made this ten times more suggestive.

“Who says I have to relax on a beach?” Lisbon managed to say. “I can go on day trips, go bungee jumping, maybe dive with sharks …”

She trailed off, feeling herself getting lost in his blue eyes. His hand was still tangled in her hair, and she found herself unable to look away, but also unable to stand a second longer of his gaze on her, his hand against her cheek, so she glanced at his throat, at his lips, anywhere but into his eyes. Only it wasn’t helping because instead of her cheeks reddening because of his unrelenting gaze, she blushed because she suddenly had to think about pressing soft kisses against the skin of his neck. By the way he licked his lips she could tell he was thinking something similar.

And yet they still hadn’t talked about this. Lisbon had no idea what she would do if he should suddenly lean forward and kiss her. She wanted him to, but she also wanted to clear the air between them first before they plunged into something neither of them could control. And Lisbon was certain that once his lips found hers, she wouldn’t be able to hold back. That thought was terrifying … and exciting.

“There’s a dartboard over there,” Jane said suddenly. “Wanna play?”

Lisbon had been so lost in her thoughts and Jane’s eyes she hadn’t even realized the baseball game had ended and the bar was clearing out. She glanced at her watch. It was only half past ten.

“Sure,” she agreed with a shrug. “Hope you like to lose.”

Jane got up, straightened his shirt, then picked up his beer bottle. “Ah, we’ll see about that. Shall we?”

Lisbon raised an eyebrow at him and stood up as well. “Is that a challenge?”

“I just wanted to play a friendly game, you made it into a competition.”

Lisbon snorted. “It’s not a competition if I know I’m going to win.”

She followed Jane, who had chosen to ignore her last comment, to the dartboard and watched him pull out the darts and drop them on a small table next to the board. Then he took of his jacket and draped it over a chair before rolling up his sleeves. While he did so, he watched Lisbon carefully, and Lisbon was suddenly very glad he couldn’t really read minds.

“I know what you’re thinking, Lisbon.” It sounded teasing, yet also somehow flattered.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Lisbon replied.

“I was drunk, but that doesn’t mean I don’t remember.”

It was the first time he had acknowledged anything that had happened the previous evening. So they _were_ talking about this, albeit not in the capacity Lisbon had hoped for. Still, she decided to have some fun and play along.

“Sorry, but you’re not wearing a vest,” she said with a shrug.

Jane turned away from her to pick up the darts again, but she still heard him say, “You can’t tell me this isn’t doing anything for you.”

That bastard! He knew exactly what this was doing to her.

“Oh, I cannot wait to see you lose,” Lisbon said and took the darts out his hand. “Some humility would suit you.”

She got into position and threw the first three darts, while Jane leaned against the table, his arms crossed in front of his chest, watching her. She did well, even managed to hit the top of the triple ring, all in all scoring almost one hundred points. Jane tried to act as if this wasn’t anything special, but he smiled at her proudly when she handed him the darts.

“Don’t you dare let me win,” she said with a growl.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he assured her.

He didn’t throw as well as she had, and even though she watched him closely, she couldn’t tell if he was holding back or not. But when she was the first to score zero points, almost seventy points ahead of him, he turned to her and said, “You were lucky. Best of 11?”

“So five more rounds?”

“Don’t get cocky, I’m just warming up.”

But Lisbon also won the second round and the third, and then she was sure Jane wasn’t letting her win on purpose. His brows were furrowed before each throw, he was concentrating, trying to find the best stance, trying to calculate the right angle, and still he was losing. By round four he decided to try a different tactic. Instead of watching Lisbon from the sidelines, he stood behind her, so close she could feel his breath ghosting along her neck, which made her mess up a throw.

“Oh, am I distracting you?” he asked, his voice a low rumble right next to her ear.

Lisbon contemplated elbowing him in the stomach, but then she decided to beat him at his own game. She turned around slowly, so they stood chest to chest, even closer than they had on the boat this morning, and said, “No, you’re cheating”. Being so close to her affected him, she could tell by the way his chest heaved and his throat moved, and still she decided to go the extra mile to make sure he wouldn’t distract her again. “Don’t do it again or I’ll have to find a way to restrain you.”

She hadn’t anticipated the effect these words would have on him because she had meant it as a joke, wanting him to blush and maybe step away. But he did neither of these things. Instead, his eyes grew dark and the look he gave her left no room for doubt about what these words were doing to him, what _she_ was doing to him. Lisbon moved in closer still, drawn to him like the moon was drawn to the earth – tied together indefinitely with no chance of escape. She bit her bottom lip, making up her mind to stop playing games, determined to give him what he wanted, what they both wanted. But then the moment shattered into a million pieces when a glass the barkeeper had dropped burst on the floor and they jumped apart, suddenly aware of their surroundings again.

Jane walked past her to get the darts from the board, but while he did so, he brushed up against her, his arm touching hers, and she sighed quietly, cursing the barkeeper for dropping the glass and ruining a perfect moment and cursing herself for taking so long to make up her mind.

Lisbon lost the fourth round and it brought back Jane’s cocky smile, which only made her more determined to win. But instead of relying on tricks, like Jane, she relied on her skills, winning her the fifth and sixth round. There was only one more round to go and she would win the game, but that also meant it would be over and she had no idea what came next. She wanted there to be something after this, she wasn’t ready to go home yet. She wasn't ready for this date to be over.

_Date?_

This wasn’t a date. They were out celebrating a successful day at work, not _dating_. But it felt like that. And, thinking back, she couldn’t remember a single date she had enjoyed more. She didn’t even want to talk anymore; she just wanted to be with Jane like this, happy, carefree, teasing each other, making each other blush and jump with touches and words, leading up to the inevitable. Only she didn’t know what that meant and judging from the look Jane gave her when she also won the last game, he didn’t know either. He led her back to their table, his hand on the small of her back, and they sat down again.

“Anyway,” Lisbon started with a sigh, but had no idea how to finish the sentence.

The bar was almost empty now, and she checked her watch again to see it was a quarter to midnight.

“Am I boring you?” Jane asked. The teasing tone was back.

“You made it too easy for me to win,” Lisbon said with a shrug.

“That means you're buying the next round.”

He also didn’t want this to be over, and that thought filled her with so much happiness that she jumped down from the stool immediately and rushed over to the bar, while she could feel him smirking at her, knowing exactly how he was looking at her without having to turn around.

As soon as Lisbon put down the beer bottle in front of him, he began to nervously tear at the label. “Next time we’re playing a game I’m good at,” he said.

“You picked the game,” Lisbon reminded him

“Only because I knew you would be good at it, and I wanted you to beat me.”

Lisbon snorted. “You’re just sore you lost.”

“No,” Jane contradicted her. “I get to ask you a favor now.”

“I already got you a beer.”

“This is a different kind of favor.” He held out his hand. “Give me a quarter.”

“A what?” Lisbon asked, confused.

“A quarter? You know, a small, round coin,” he clarified.

Lisbon got out her wallet and found a quarter, but she didn’t give it to him. Instead, she looked at him suspiciously. “What do you need it for?”

He smiled at her mysteriously. “You’ll see.”

And just like that, she decided to trust him.

He took the coin and stood up, taking his beer with him. Lisbon watched him closely as he walked over to a corner of the room, and then she spotted it: an old jukebox, almost hidden from sight by the tables surrounding it. Jane put down his bottle on top of the jukebox, then put the quarter in and pressed a few buttons until an old rhythm and blues song started playing. He looked so handsome in the low lighting of the bar that she couldn’t help but stare at him unabashedly.

“Dance with me,” he said, turning to Lisbon.

“No, no, no,” she immediately declined, leaning back, almost falling off the bar stool.

“Come on,” he said with an encouraging smile, waving his hand.

“No,” Lisbon told him again.

He walked back toward her and took her hand into his, and, despite herself, she glided off the bar stool and let herself be pulled close by him. He started to sway them much slower than the music called for, but she didn’t mind because she knew her legs would give way if he wanted her to move faster than this. Being so close to him so unexpectedly, his arm around her waist, their fingers tangled together, the smell of alcohol and sweat and greasy food being cancelled out by his smell, was so overwhelming she was glad she could lean on him for support. She rested her head on his chest, feeling the beat of his heart, feeling him hum softly along to the song, and suddenly she didn’t mind they were the only people dancing in an almost empty bar. When the song was over, it was a disappointment yet a relief. As soon as Jane stepped away from her, she allowed herself to breathe again.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked.

She shrugged.

“If you want another song, you’ll have to give me another quarter.”

She put her hand on his bare arm, letting it rest on his skin, feeling it beneath her fingers, knowing that if she moved her hand lower and closed her fingers around his wrist, she would be able to feel the rapid beat of his heart. She made up her mind. “Actually, I would like to go home.”

She could hear the excitement in his voice when he said, “Then let’s do that.” He put on his jacket (Lisbon almost told him not to), then guided her out of the room they were in, through the main bar area, and onto the street. His hand never left the small of her back, not even when he opened the door for her.

It was louder and more crowded outside than Lisbon had expected. There were still a lot of people around, mostly tourists, sitting outside restaurants, standing together in groups, singing songs off-key at the top of their lungs. Her hand found Jane’s again as she sidestepped a group of drunk girls out on a bachelorette party. They slowly walked along the street, alternating between being able to see each other clearly in patches of light coming out of bars, and not being able to see each other’s features at all in the spaces in between, relying on their instincts to know what the other was feeling.

“Did you know this street we’re on connects the Gulf of Mexico to the Atlantic Ocean?” Jane asked. He wasn’t looking at her, just staring straight ahead, but there was a soft smile on his face.

“I do now,” she answered.

“We’ve been in Key West a week, and we haven’t even visited the southernmost point in the United States yet,” Jane pointed out.

“Maybe because we’re not tourists.”

This walk was getting to its end too quickly for Lisbon's taste; they had already reached their street, and as Jane turned the corner, she let go of his hand and put her arm around his waist again, and he draped his over her shoulder, and they continued to walk together slowly like this, away from the crowds. Lisbon breathed in the night air rich with the sweet scent of flowers, then let the sounds of the cicadas surrounding them wash over her. Jane had stopped talking and was glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, smiling whenever her eyes found his.

Then they reached their house, and Lisbon walked in front of Jane up to the porch but stopped in front of the door and turned around to face him. It was so dark beneath the trees that she had trouble making out his features. Then he stepped closer and she was able to see his face more clearly, see his dark eyes, his pupils dilated. They were so close she could feel the heat radiating from his body, could hear him breathe in shakily, but he wasn’t moving; he was lurking, prowling, waiting with bated breath for her to make the next move. Lisbon could smell him again, could smell his scent over the fragrant nighttime air, could hear his breath through the cacophony of the cicadas, and she wanted him so much that it was manifesting itself as a physical pain lodged deep inside her chest, like a splinter infesting a wound, not letting itself be ignored any more.

But there was also doubt and reluctance. A small part of her was still scared of moving too fast, of misreading Jane. “Jane, we should talk,” she said quietly.

Jane shook his head. “I know,” he said, his voice so quiet she had to read his lips as well to be absolutely certain she understood him correctly, “but we’ve already done so much talking. Please, not tonight.”

He looked at her with so much love, with so much vulnerability she could feel a lump form in her throat. “When you said you loved me …,” she started slowly.

“I meant it,” he finished the sentence.

She breathed in shakily, and it sounded almost like a sob, so he raised his hand to cup her cheek and she let him, waiting for him. But he also waited, waited for her to tell him this was all right, to confirm this was what she wanted and she opened her mouth to say, “Kiss me already, you idiot,” but before the first word was out, her phone started to ring and she jumped at the sound cutting through this moment like a hot knife.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, pulling it out of her pocket.

When she recognized the caller ID, she froze.

* * *

“Marcus, hi.” It sounded forced, even to her own ears.

“Hi, honey.” He didn’t seem to notice. “How are you?”

Lisbon was sitting in the garden next to the pool, staring at the calm water, cursing Pike like she had cursed the barkeeper before, and cursing herself for never having her phone on silent.

“Good,” she said. “We’re making progress on the case.”

“Oh really?” Pike sounded surprised. “Are you in?”

“Not yet, but almost,” Lisbon answered, not wanting to explain to him that they might have to steal valuable jewelry to be accepted into the group.

“Wow, that’s great. Last time we talked you didn’t sound so confident.”

“Yeah …,” Lisbon made.

“What changed?”

Lisbon took a deep breath. She had no idea what to tell him. _Jane and I finally realized we have feelings for each other_ , wasn’t something you were supposed to say to your boyfriend. She knew she needed to break up with him, and soon, but she didn’t want to do it over the phone. She hated breakups, but she hated them even more when she couldn’t see her opposite’s face. The problem was she had no idea when she would see Pike again, and she was reluctant to take the next step with Jane before she had talked to Pike, but she had been on the verge of kissing him moments ago, and he was currently in the house somewhere, waiting for her, and he was offering everything he had to her, and she was so ready to take everything he could give her. She could say none of this to Pike though.

“I think we just got used to it,” she replied vaguely. “And the leader of the group really likes us.”

“That’s nice, honey.” Pike sounded preoccupied. And, sure enough, there was something he wanted to tell her. “Listen, I’ve been offered a job.”

“Oh,” Lisbon made.

“In D.C.,” he continued.

“Oh,” Lisbon made again.

“It’s a good job, a promotion actually. And I’m pretty sure I’ll take it.”

“That’s great,” Lisbon said, trying to sound genuinely proud, hoping he would tell her they couldn’t see each other anymore when he lived in D.C. and she lived in Austin. It would be the best solution to her problem.

“I want you to come with me,” Pike said then. “Teresa, come to D.C. with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that the case is finally making process (sort of), it's time to bring back Pike. I never said this would be easy for Jane and Lisbon ...


	8. The Break-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisbon could feel her patience slip. Did he really know her so little? “How can you think that?” she asked, taking a step back herself. The tears she had fought so hard to contain came bubbling to the surface now as she took a deep breath that turned into a sob. “I could never leave you like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent more time editing this chapter than writing it, especially the final scene was giving me a headache, I completely rewrote it because it was too dark to fit the overall tone of the story. I'm still not entirely happy with how this chapter turned out, but it's still better than the original draft.

The water was warm, warmer than he would have liked, but he needed something to do while he waited for Lisbon to wake up, so why not make use of the pool? The physical activity was occupying his body, giving him the opportunity to clear his head. He deliberately didn’t think of the couple of minutes yesterday evening before Pike had interrupted them so unexpectedly, because whenever he did, it took his breath away and he needed air to keep on swimming. Thinking about how close he had come to kissing Lisbon was not something he casually wanted to do, it was something he needed to cherish. But he allowed himself to recall the image of Lisbon in his arms while they had danced at the bar. It was safe enough to think about that. And about the minutes after she had come back inside from her phone call with Pike.

Jane had no idea what Pike had said to Lisbon, and it had been obvious from her tight lips and set jaw and hunched shoulders that she didn’t want to talk about it. But pursuing what they had started was out of the question – at least for this evening –, so he had told her good night and gone outside himself to sit by the side of the pool, while she went upstairs, changed, and finally switch off the lights. It wasn’t the ending he had hoped for, but he knew she needed space, and he was ready to give that to her while she figured out this situation. He would have been there for her and helped her (after all, this was his fault), but Lisbon didn’t want his help, not with this, at least. This was between her and Pike and him interfering would do more damage than good. So he would wait for her, no matter how long it would take. Until then, he would hold back. He knew now that his feelings for her weren’t unrequited, and that was enough. The last thing she needed was him pushing her to do something she didn’t feel comfortable with. And waiting for another two days or two weeks or two months wasn’t so bad; after all, he had already waited years for her.

He made a turn for the seventh time, and glanced up at Lisbon’s room, only to spot her standing there, looking down at him, her eyes wide, her cheeks flushed; then he remembered she had never actually seen him undressed like this before, and even though he was wearing his swimming trunks, she could clearly see the rest of his body through the crystal clear water of the pool. That she was staring like this and that she let him see it was further proof this wasn’t a dream, that she really was attracted to him. Whatever it was that Pike had said to her hadn’t changed her feelings for him at least. And giving her space suddenly didn’t seem as easy as he had thought.

Jane climbed out of the pool and walked over to the lounger where he had left a towel, trying not to hurry; he was flattered by the attention Lisbon was paying him and he wanted her to enjoy herself, but it was also all very new, and he still needed to find his footing, so her gaze on him made him feel self-conscious. To take the edge off, he decided to tease Lisbon.

“Want to join me?” he called and waved.

Lisbon didn’t reply but started to climb down the stairs and for one short moment Jane expected her to take him up on his offer, but then he saw the serious look on her face.

“Jane, we need to talk,” she said.

He wrapped the towel around his shoulders, then sat down on the lounger and patted the space next to him, trying to swallow a feeling of dread. “Sure, what’s up?”

Lisbon sat down close to him and he noticed her eyes wandering to his chest before coming to rest on his face. “It’s about yesterday,” she started, and he wished she wouldn’t look so serious because it only enforced his feeling of dread. “I know we were about to …,” she took a deep breath, “… kiss, and I want you to know I really wanted you to kiss me, it’s not that …”

The happiness he should have felt at hearing her say she wanted him to kiss her was drowned by fear of where this conversation would lead. Still, he nodded, signaling he was listening, but on the inside, he was terrified of what she would say next.

“But the thing is, I’m not single,” she continued. “It’s just so complicated.” She groaned and buried her face in her hands.

Jane needed to know what Pike had said to her because yesterday her relationship with Pike hadn’t been an issue. But he knew he had to wait until she felt comfortable talking about it. At this moment, he needed to focus on comforting her. He wanted to pull her into a hug but decided putting a hand on her shoulder was the appropriate thing to do in this situation, since it would give her space. “I know,” he said slowly. “If it’s time you need, don’t worry. I’ll wait.”

“No, it’s not that.” She put her head against his shoulder, and he didn’t hesitate for a single second before putting his arm around her and pulling her close.

“Whatever it is, Lisbon, you can tell me,” he said softly, fighting the urge to press a kiss into her hair.

Lisbon sighed and he could feel her relax against him. But instead of telling him what was bothering her, she closed her eyes and just rested against him. They remained like this for some time, her cheek on his naked chest, sharing the towel like a blanket, until Lisbon took a deep breath.

“Jane, Marcus asked me to –”

She was cut off by a foreign sound Jane hadn’t expected to hear this early in the morning: the sound of the doorbell. They both jumped apart and Lisbon looked at Jane worriedly, so Jane smiled at her, stood up and walked through the kitchen and the living room to the front door to find out who was keeping him from learning what Pike had said to Lisbon.

It was Cho. He looked more like a tourist than any Jane had seen during his time in Key West. His shirt was bright green with pink flamingos printed on it, he wore dark brown shorts and matching sandals, and his eyes were hidden behind sunglasses.

“Cho,” Jane said, unable to hide the surprise in his voice.

“Plane was early,” Cho offered as an explanation, then stepped past Jane into the entrance hall. If seeing Jane in nothing but swimming trunks and a towel seemed odd to him, he didn’t let it show. “Nice house.”

“Cho!” Lisbon had appeared. She looked confused. “What are you doing here?”

“Abbott sent me,” Cho answered.

“We need to come up with a plan on how to steal that necklace and ring,” Jane went on. “I thought we could use some help.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lisbon wasn’t angry with him, just confused, as if she had forgotten they were working on a case. He understood how she felt.

Jane shrugged. “Must have forgotten.”

Lisbon raised her eyebrows at him, then turned to Cho. “We haven’t had breakfast yet, if you want to join us …”

Cho looked at his watch. “We only have four hours,” he answered.

“Then let’s get started,” Jane decided. “We can set up in the kitchen.”

Jane and Lisbon took the lead, Lisbon keeping so close to Jane that their hands were brushing, and Cho followed them. Cho’s sudden appearance should unsettle him, Jane knew that, especially because he had found them in a very domestic setting, Jane almost naked, Lisbon still in her pajamas, talking about having breakfast together, and yet he didn’t care. It didn’t matter to him if everyone at the FBI was wondering what was going on in Key West. But Cho hated gossip to begin with, and he didn’t show any signs he thought their behavior was odd. Jane could have taken Lisbon’s hand and Cho wouldn’t have commented on it.

Lisbon helped Cho set up his laptop in the kitchen, while Jane excused himself so he could go upstairs to change. It was very unlike him to forget something like arranging for Cho to travel to a different state for an emergency meeting and it was also unlike him to forget to tell Lisbon about it. He needed to be more focused in future if he wanted this case to be a success.

He quickly changed into a clean shirt and a comfortable pair of pants before rejoining Cho and Lisbon in the kitchen. Lisbon was busy filling in Cho on the details regarding the case, and Cho listened, took notes, and looked something up on his laptop from time to time. Jane could see there wasn’t much to do for him at the moment, so he let himself fall into a chair next to Lisbon and waited for them to finish and ask for his input. As soon as he had sat down, Lisbon moved her own chair closer to his and only stopped when their legs were almost touching. She did it under the pretense of picking up a pile of papers and hand them to Cho, but to Jane it was confirmation he didn’t need to bother holding back. Lisbon obviously wanted to be as close to him as possible, even with Cho there.

“Any ideas, Jane?” Cho asked as soon as Lisbon was finished. He leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms in front of his chest, and looked at Jane expectantly.

“The easiest option will be to steal the necklace and the ring,” Jane answered with a shrug. He hadn’t actually thought about this yet, since his thoughts had been preoccupied with a more pressing matter, but it was the first thing he could think of that sounded feasible.

“But we can’t do that,” Lisbon pointed out.

“We can get fakes,” Cho suggested.

“No.” Jane shook his head. “They’ll be able to tell they’re fakes right away.”

Lisbon looked at him with raised eyebrows. “I cannot stress this enough … we can’t steal them for real.”

“We don’t have to _steal_ them,” Jane said slowly. “We can just ask the owners to lend them to us for a couple of days.”

“They will never agree to that.”

Jane knew that Cho was probably right, and he had expected him to say this, but before he could reply with what was already on the tip of his tongue, his brain shut down because Lisbon had casually put her hand on Jane’s leg. He was sure she wasn’t doing it consciously; she was just used to it by now, and as soon as she would realize what she was doing, she would draw back her hand, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t having an effect on Jane. If Cho had noticed what Lisbon was doing, he had chosen not to comment on it.

Jane cleared his throat. “Wouldn’t hurt to ask.”

“Let’s buy them,” Cho said suddenly.

“What?” Lisbon asked, and, sure enough, removed her hand from Jane’s leg again.

“Yes!” Jane agreed, clapping his hands together. “They’re selling them anyway, so why not go for it?”

“No,” Lisbon said slowly. “Do you have any idea how much this will cost? Where will you get the money from?”

“We don’t have to buy them _for real_ ,” Jane answered. “We just have to pretend to have enough money that we could technically afford them, then have Cho ‘buy’ them for us, use them to trap the killer, and then give them back. If anything, it will only increase their value because the sellers will be able to tell the story of how the jewelry helped catch a killer. And I’m sure Cho wouldn’t mind pretending to be a billionaire for a couple of hours.”

“Okay,” Cho agreed with a shrug.

“Well, I’m not going to be the one to tell Abbott,” Lisbon said, shaking her head. “And I’m going to get myself some coffee now. You do what you want.”

She stood up and walked over to the coffee machine. Jane glanced at Cho apologetically, then followed Lisbon. Cho picked up his phone to call Abbott.

“Hey,” Jane said carefully, when Lisbon closed one of the cupboards with more force than necessary. “It’ll be fine.”

“You keep saying that, but I think it’s too risky,” Lisbon told him.

“This will all be over by Sunday,” Jane continued. He took the coffee cup from Lisbon. “Here, let me.” He moved past her, using his free hand to carefully move her out of the way by lightly touching her waist, and Lisbon stepped aside.

“I don’t want this to be over,” she said quietly.

Jane wasn’t sure if he had heard her correctly. “What?” he asked.

But Lisbon only shook her head when she spotted Cho approaching them.

“Abbott is okay with it,” he told them.

“See, Lisbon? No need to worry.”

Lisbon only rolled her eyes and took the cup of coffee from Jane.

They sat back down again and started to work out the finer details of this plan. Even though Lisbon still wasn’t entirely on board with the idea, she put in a lot of work, more than Jane, who was distracted by what she had said to him or, rather, what he had thought she had said to him. He glanced at his watch impatiently from time to time, wanting this meeting to be over so he could be alone with Lisbon and they could finally talk. Cho had to leave in an hour anyway to catch his flight back to Austin, and Jane decided to take Lisbon out for lunch to a quiet little restaurant, preferably near the ocean.

Lisbon and Cho were busy working out a backstory for Cho’s character and talking to Wylie to create an online profile for a billionaire collecting valuable jewelry while Jane was on his phone trying to find a romantic spot for lunch. He noticed Lisbon was looking at him disapprovingly from time to time, but he would make up for his lack of interest in the case later, when they were alone. Cho, on the other hand, was his usual stoic self – he didn’t pay attention to anything beside the case. They were so busy that the ring of the doorbell made them all jump.

“I’ll get it,” Jane said, and stood up. He had no idea who it could be, but he suspected it might be Kris, and he needed to come up with a story that would explain Cho being there while he led her into the kitchen.

But it wasn’t Kris. Or Louis. Or Gabriel. It was Pike.

He didn’t look like a tourist, he looked like the FBI agent he was in his suit and buttoned-up shirt. He was even wearing a tie. And even though Jane found himself at a loss for words at seeing Pike so unexpectedly, he still noticed Pike’s unease, the beads of sweat on his forehead, and the small overnight bag in his hand.

The bag was the thing that unsettled Jane the most. It was obvious Lisbon hadn’t invited Pike because she would have told him about it, but Pike still expected to stay at least for a night in Key West. Where, Jane couldn’t tell. But he was here to see Lisbon, not help them with the case; there was no doubt about it. And Jane did his best to hold the jealousy and the wariness and the resentment at bay, but all he wanted to do was shut the door in Pike’s face.

“Jane,” Pike said with a nod and walked inside without waiting for Jane to invite him in.

Jane recovered from his shock. “What are you doing here?” he asked, not caring that he sounded rude.

Pike deflected his question with another question. “Where’s Teresa?” he asked.

“In the kitchen,” Jane answered. He realized he was still holding the door open, so he closed it. “We’re working on the case.” _And you’re interrupting, so go away_.

“And where’s the kitchen?”

“I’ll show you.”

All Jane wanted to do was get Pike to leave, but he had no idea how to achieve this without causing a scene, so he led the other man into the kitchen, where Lisbon and Cho were still discussing the finer details of the plan. They were so preoccupied that neither of them looked up when they heard footsteps approaching.

“Hi, honey,” Pike said slowly, his voice slightly raised.

It made Lisbon jump, look up, and then her face reddened when her eyes landed on her boyfriend. “Marcus,” she said, her voice breathy. “What …?”

Pike walked around the table to where Lisbon was standing, put his arms around her, and kissed her. To Jane this felt as if Pike had taken a knife out of a kitchen drawer and stabbed him with it. He curled his right hand into a fist and took a deep breath. Cho looked at him, then back at Pike and Lisbon.

“I wanted to surprise you,” Pike said. He was still holding Lisbon closely, and Lisbon was staring at him, her eyes wide. “I thought I could take you out to lunch.”

“Marcus, I … we’re busy,” Lisbon answered. She freed one of her arms and pointed at the table.

Jane knew he shouldn’t feel like this, that he had no right to feel like this. Lisbon wanted to be with him, and she was prepared to make it work, it wasn’t her fault, but Jane was terrified she would change her mind now that Pike was here. To think that after all that had happened between them during the last couple of days, he would have to go back to treating Lisbon as nothing more than a friend was unbearable. But he had to pretend nothing had changed to protect Lisbon – and himself.

“You should go. We need a short break anyway.” Jane didn’t recognize his own voice, and neither did Lisbon, judging from the look she was giving him. _Please say you don’t want to go._

“You sure?” she asked, and Jane knew she wasn’t just asking because of the case.

Jane shrugged, ignoring his jealousy, ignoring how much he did not want her to go with Pike. “I’m sure Cho and I can finish this up on our own.”

“Sure,” Cho said.

“All right,” Lisbon agreed slowly. She took a step back from Pike, finally freeing herself from his embrace. Her eyes were still on Jane though. “Let’s go.”

Pike put his arm around Lisbon’s waist and that small gesture sent a bolt of pain through Jane, as if he had been struck by lightning. “Where do you want to go?”

Again, Lisbon freed herself. “You pick a place,” she told him. “I’m gonna finish up in here and I’ll be with you in ten minutes.”

Pike nodded, shook Cho’s hand, but only glanced at Jane before leaving them.

Jane did his best to act as if nothing was wrong, but Lisbon noticed. Of course she did. And she didn’t deserve to be treated coldly or with contempt, but he couldn’t help himself. Pike’s sudden appearance affected him much more than he was willing to admit, and all the warmth had vanished from his interactions with Lisbon. Only three hours ago, he had been sure Lisbon would break up with Pike eventually. But now Pike was here, in Key West, intruding on something he shouldn’t be a part of, and Jane felt angry, angry at himself for not having tried harder to clear the air between Lisbon and himself before and angry at Pike for turning up unannounced. Lisbon looked miserable, too, but what if Pike’s gesture was enough to convince her to stay with him? Jane knew he could never compete with the stability Pike had to offer. Lisbon deserved stability, Lisbon deserved someone with a plan. And Jane could offer her neither of these things. He knew that, objectively speaking, Pike was a much better fit for Lisbon. And he had taken time off work to come and see her, to take her out to lunch. It was just a small romantic gesture, but it was one, nevertheless. And all Jane had done was stare longingly at Lisbon and drunkenly confess his feelings for her. If this was a competition, Pike was winning.

Cho also noticed something had shifted, and he glanced at Lisbon more often than usual, but avoided Jane’s gaze. Jane couldn’t blame him. He knew he was doing a bad job at hiding his feelings, all the while wishing that Cho wouldn’t have been there, so he could have talked to Lisbon for a minute or two to ask her _not_ to go to lunch with Pike, because the possibility of losing her to him was agonizing. Lisbon, though, looked at him often, hurt and confusion in her eyes, and he knew she wanted him to ask her to stay, to fight for her, but all he could do was watch her being led away by Pike in the end, unable to stop her, paralyzed by the fear that trying to get her to stay would only push her away.

* * *

“I found a great place,” Pike told Lisbon while they were slowly walking toward Duval Street, back to where all the tourists were. He was holding her hand, leading her along, and she had no choice but to follow him. “Apparently, Ernest Hemingway used to go there when he lived here.”

“No,” Lisbon said immediately. It was her and Jane’s place and she didn’t want to go there with Pike, because it might potentially ruin her happy memories of last night. “We tried it, it’s a tourist trap,” she explained.

“Oh,” Pike made.

“But I’m sure we’ll find someplace nice,” Lisbon assured him and squeezed his hand.

She had no idea what to think of his sudden appearance. Last night, after he had asked her to move to the other side of the country with him, she had told him she needed to think about it, and then they had ended the call on an amicable note. Lisbon had managed not to panic when he had suggested she should come with him and he had been happy enough to wait for her to make up her mind. But now he was here, entirely unexpected, and she didn’t know why. It was meant as a romantic gesture, obviously, and she felt flattered he would take time off work to go and see her, but it was more than she felt capable of handling at the moment because she couldn’t give him what he was expecting of her.

And then there was the matter of Jane’s reaction to seeing Pike so unexpectedly. He had behaved oddly, and Lisbon couldn’t blame him, but she had expected him to make snarky remarks at Pike’s expense, to insist Lisbon couldn’t go to lunch with him because they needed to work on the case, or to get her to stay by simply asking her to. But he had done none of these things and it had thrown Lisbon back to the place where she was wondering if Jane really cared for her. She knew it wasn’t fair to expect anything of him, and she knew she needed to deal with Pike on her own, but it had hurt her to hear him tell her she should accept Pike’s invitation to lunch without missing a beat.

Pike’s appearance in Key West also meant she now had the opportunity to break up with him. But after witnessing Jane’s odd behavior, she wasn’t sure she should do that yet. After all, she and Jane still hadn’t talked and all she had to base her decision on was a drunken love confession and a couple of situations where they had almost kissed. But was there really more she needed? Did she really need for him to make a scene in front of Cho over something as normal as her boyfriend picking her up to have lunch with her?

No, she didn’t need more. She didn’t need grand, romantic gestures. All she needed was to listen to her heart for a change instead of overthinking every interaction she’d had with Jane since his return from the island. And her heart was telling her that here was her chance to end things with Pike. It was what she wanted, it was what, ultimately, would make her happy. And Jane would be there for her, no matter what.

“Teresa?”

She realized Pike had been talking and she hadn’t been listening to a word he had said. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

“What about this one?” He was pointing at a small restaurant located right next to a pier with tables outside overlooking the water.

It did look very nice.

“Sure,” Lisbon agreed.

They sat down and ordered drinks and while they waited, Lisbon suddenly felt her hands grow cold and her heart start racing. She took a deep breath, then another one, but there still wasn’t enough air in her lungs. Then she realized she was nervous because even though she still hadn’t made up her mind on what to say to Pike, her heart had decided for her and knew exactly there was only one way this lunch date could end.

“Why are you here?” she asked to buy herself some time.

“I wanted to surprise you,” Pike repeated.

“That you did,” Lisbon assured him, “but this might be dangerous, me going out to lunch with you.”

Pike reached across the table and took her hand in his. “Isn’t that exciting?” he asked with a smirk.

“To an extent,” Lisbon said carefully. “It could also ruin the case.”

“Since you came here, have you ever had the feeling you’re being watched?”

“No,” Lisbon admitted.

“See? I don’t think this group is actually putting you under surveillance.”

They were interrupted by the waiter bringing their drinks and taking their order, and after that, Pike decided to change the subject to something Lisbon definitely didn’t want to talk about.

“Is everything all right between you and Jane?”

“Why?” she asked warily.

Pike shrugged. “He was acting odder than usual today. Especially toward you. Did you have a fight with him?”

“No,” Lisbon said quickly. “Everything is fine.”

“Huh,” Pike made. “Are you sure? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“Yeah, we’re fine.”

“And what about me?” Pike asked next. “Did he say anything about me?”

“About you?” Lisbon repeated. “No, he never mentions you. Why?”

“As I’ve said, he seemed to be in a weird mood today. When he opened the door and saw me, I half expected him to punch me.” Pike laughed at the ridiculousness of this idea, and Lisbon joined him despite not feeling like laughing at all.

“No, honestly, we’re fine,” Lisbon repeated once they had stopped laughing. She definitely did not want to discuss Jane’s behavior toward Pike. “We’re just very busy with the case. We might close it on Friday or Saturday.”

“So you’re coming home soon?” Pike looked at her excitedly. “That means you could come to D.C. with me next week to look at houses.”

Lisbon swallowed. “Yeah,” she said slowly. “Maybe … I haven’t decided yet if I want to come with you though.”

The excited expression vanished from Pike’s face. “I know. It was just an idea.”

This was a good opportunity to tell him she didn’t want to go to D.C. and she didn’t want to be in this relationship anymore, but when she opened her mouth to say it, something held her back. Maybe it was her nerves, maybe it was doubt, maybe she just wasn’t ready to say it yet because even though she knew Jane was waiting for her at their house, it still was a big, life-changing step.

Lisbon decided it was her turn to change the subject. “Tell me about this new job,” she said.

And Pike did. He would be the head of his own division, the supervising agent to twenty people, and he would even get his own corner office. The way he talked about it left no room for doubt how proud he was of this promotion, and Lisbon also felt proud of him. Until he told her he had already talked to his new boss in D.C. and asked him for a job for her.

“You did what?” She was unable to keep the anger out of her voice.

“It’s just hypothetical,” Pike assured her.

Before Lisbon could reply, the waiter finally brought their food. Lisbon had lost her appetite. “I don’t care how hypothetical it is, I don’t want you to ask strangers to give me a job without having talked to me first.” The couple at the table next to them turned their heads to look at Lisbon and she realized she had shouted at Pike. So she forced herself to lower her voice, when she continued. “I don’t even know if I want to move to D.C. yet. You cannot go around making arrangements for something that might never happen.”

She was hurting Pike. She could tell by the way his voice quivered when he said, “Is it really so reprehensible that I’m trying to give the woman I love a good life?”

“I have a good life in Austin,” Lisbon reminded him. “I like my job, I like my colleagues. I’m not sure if I want to give that up for a man I’ve been dating for just four months.”

“You gave up your good life and your nice colleagues in California for Jane.”

Pike might as well have slapped her. “That was completely different,” she said, her voice now lowered to a whisper. “You cannot expect me to compare these two situations.”

“The only difference is that it was Jane asking you to change your life, not me.”

Lisbon had no idea where this was coming from all of a sudden, but if Pike honestly expected to be able to guilt-trip her into moving to D.C. with him, he was in for a surprise. “I didn’t do anything because he _asked_ me to, I did it because he is my friend and needed my help.”

“And I’m your boyfriend,” Pike reminded her. “And I’m offering you a good life and a good career.”

“I don’t need you to offer me anything,” Lisbon shot back. “All I need is for you to let me make my own decisions.”

“That would be easier if you were actually making them on your own.” Pike was getting angry now, Lisbon could tell by the way he lowered his voice. He leaned forward so they were closer together, and whispered, “Admit it, the only reason why you’re hesitating to say yes is Jane.”

“Jane doesn’t even know you asked me to move to D.C. with you,” Lisbon defended herself.

“I know you’re lying, Teresa.”

Lisbon furrowed her brows and leaned back to put some space between herself and Pike. “What?”

“Of course he knows,” Pike answered. “That’s the reason why he behaved so oddly earlier, it’s the reason why he was so angry with me. He doesn’t want me to take you away from him.”

“No one is taking me away from anyone,” Lisbon said. “I need you to understand that. When I decide something it’s not because you want me to or because Jane wants me to. It’s because I can make my own decisions. But you don’t understand that, no matter how often I tell you.”

Pike shook his head. “I know you like to think you’re making your own decisions, but you’re always doing what Jane wants you to do.”

Lisbon sighed. “Why are you so obsessed with him?”

“Why are _you_ so obsessed with him?” Pike returned the question.

“Jane is my _friend_ ,” Lisbon reminded him.

“It’s so much more than that, and I wish you would just admit it,” Pike said through gritted teeth.

He sounded frustrated, as if they were talking about this almost every day and Lisbon still refused to change. His tone of voice made her shiver and she suddenly felt sick. She pushed her plate away.

He continued. “As long as Jane is around, I’ll always have to share you with him.”

“If my friendship with him is such a burden to you, why are you sticking with me?” She had to ask this, she had to know, because Pike made it sound as if she was being unreasonable, when it was in fact he who couldn’t control his feelings of jealousy.

“Because I love you and I want this to work.” It wasn’t the answer Lisbon had expected. “But I’m not sure you’re fully committed.” He looked at her sadly. “Everything I do is for you, but you can only think of yourself. You’re not even wearing the bracelet I got you.”

Lisbon felt her face grow hot, and she felt the burning sensation of tears in her eyes, which she tried to ignore. She wouldn’t give Pike the satisfaction. “It was in the way,” she said coldly.

“In the way of what?”

Lisbon closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to push down the tears. Still, a single one made its way to the surface and ran down her cheek. If Pike noticed, he decided not to comment on it.

“Listen, Marcus, I did care for you. A lot. I wanted this to work,” she said carefully, trying to keep her voice steady. “But I can’t go on like this. I can’t constantly watch every step I make, I can’t constantly worry if I might be upsetting you by spending time with Jane or by working with Jane, and I can’t constantly assure you I want to be with you because it is getting exhausting.”

“Did you sleep with him?”

Both Lisbon and Pike let the question hang in the air for a moment. She couldn’t believe this was the first thing he would say to her after everything she had just told him. But he looked at her seriously, mild curiosity in his eyes, as if he already knew the answer and was just waiting for her to confirm it.

“Excuse me?” she said finally.

“Did you sleep with Jane?” Pike repeated

“No, I heard you, I just can’t believe you’re asking me this.”

Pike snorted. “Is it really so unbelievable?”

Lisbon decided to tell him the truth, even though she knew he wouldn’t believe her. “No, I never slept with Jane.”

And, sure enough, he thought she was lying to him. “You’re lying again.”

Lisbon decided to give it one last try. “How do you expect this relationship to work if you cannot trust me?”

“And how do you expect it to work if you’re in love with someone else?” Pike shot back.

Lisbon swallowed, then said, “Then why are you still here? Just break up with me.”

“No.” Pike shook his head. “I want to be with you. I want to fight for you.” He reached across the table for her hand again, thinking it would be some sort of grand romantic gesture, the hero seeing past his love interest’s flaws, past her infatuation with the bad guy, to save her from all temptation.

She pulled back her hand. “But I don’t want to be with you.” It was out. She had finally said it. And it felt great not having to hide it anymore.

Pike pulled back his hand as well. “I won’t accept that.”

“You’re going to have to because this is my decision,” Lisbon told him firmly. “I don’t want to move to D.C. with you and I don’t want be with you anymore.”

“Is it because of Jane?”

This time, no breathing technique and no amount of embarrassment could keep her from shouting. “It’s because of everything! It’s because of your pushy behavior, it’s because you’re constantly planning my life for me without talking to me first, and it’s because you’re always jealous, no matter what I do.” She took a deep breath to get some air into her lungs, then said in a calmer tone of voice, “And yes, it’s also because of Jane.” It didn’t matter now. She might as well tell him the truth anyway. Also, some dark part of her wanted to hurt him, and she knew she would do that by confirming his suspicion.

“This is the first honest thing you’ve said to me all day.” His voice was completely calm, and his face didn’t betray his feelings. It was unsettling.

“If you hadn’t been so jealous all the time, this might have gone differently,” Lisbon said with a shrug.

“Don’t you dare put the blame on me!” Lisbon flinched. She had never heard Pike shout before and the way he had gone from complete calm to raging inferno in less than a second caught her off-guard. “You’re the one cheating on me with another man, so don’t pretend this is my fault.”

“I didn’t cheat on you!” Lisbon shouted back.

“Maybe not physically.” Pike remembered to lower his voice, before adding, “But emotionally. That’s just as bad.”

Lisbon knew he was right; she had cheated on him, and she had done it fully aware of what she was doing. But it didn’t matter now because Pike wasn’t her boyfriend anymore and she didn’t have to feel bad about spending every waking moment thinking about Jane.

She stood up. “I’m leaving.”

Pike reached out and grabbed her wrist hard, pressing her watch into the skin. “Don’t do anything you might regret,” he told her.

She yanked herself free. “I’m regretting a lot, but breaking up with you is the last thing on that list.”

Then she stormed off without turning around. She couldn’t bear to spend another second with Pike after all the horrible things he had said to her. He couldn’t honestly believe he would be able to fix this, not even if Lisbon had loved him back. It was the worst possible way to end this relationship, and she couldn’t help but feel bad for Pike, at least to an extent, because she could have handled the situation better. But the truth was he didn’t deserve her pity because she had finally seen him for who he truly was: a possessive, jealous man who would do and say anything to make her stay.

Lisbon walked back down Duval Street, thinking all she wanted to do was get home as fast as possible, so she could let all her feelings out in private. She hated crying in public and avoided it at all costs. But then she realized she didn’t feel like crying anyway – her eyes had dried up. Instead, she just felt incredibly, indescribably relieved it was over, that she was finally free of Pike and that she could finally do what she wanted without being afraid of hurting him, even if it was just something as innocent as taking off a bracelet.

And she was finally free to talk openly with Jane, to tell him how she felt about him, to kiss him without feeling guilty. She imagined what she would say to him, how she would tell him about the break-up. He would be worried, of course, but she would assure him she was fine. When she was imagining how he would pull her into a hug, her phone started to ring. She pulled it out to see it was Pike calling her, but she pressed “decline”, then put her phone on silent. From now on, her day could only get better.

* * *

Cho had already left when Lisbon got back. She was sad at first because she hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye but then she remembered she would be seeing him again in a couple of days. And suddenly she didn’t mind their plan so much. She was convinced everything would work out fine, now that she could finally focus on the case. And on Jane.

It took her some time to find him in the big house. He was by the pool again, reading a book, a tall glass of iced tea next to him. She lingered in the doorway for a bit, watching him, nervously balling her fingers into a fist because she had no idea what to say to him. All she knew was she was about to find out what would happen when she didn’t have Pike to hide behind anymore.

“You’re back,” he said without looking up from his book when she finally approached him.

Lisbon knew immediately that something was wrong. “Yes,” she said, stopping in front of Jane, unsure what to do with herself because he didn’t move to make space on the lounger for her.

“Where’s Pike?” he asked, still looking at his book.

“Not here,” Lisbon answered warily.

Finally, Jane put down the book and looked at her. “Has it occurred to you that going out to lunch with him might look suspicious? What if you had run into Kris?”

Lisbon was so surprised by this that her first instinct was to defend herself. “We didn’t. And I would have made up a story if we had, don’t worry.”

“What kind of story?” Jane wanted to know.

“Does it matter?” Lisbon asked with a sigh.

This wasn’t going at all like she had thought it would. She could feel that something was bothering Jane, and she wished he would tell her. But instead, he just gave her an odd look.

“All right, I don’t know,” she gave in, “I would’ve told her Marcus is an old friend, my brother-in-law, something like that.”

Jane snorted. “That sure would have been a fun conversation, trying to explain why you’re making out with your sister’s husband.”

 _Oh_.

So this was what this was about. Despite everything she knew about Jane, despite knowing him better than any other person, better than she knew herself sometimes, it had never occurred to her he might be jealous of Pike. Because there was no reason for him to be. And if he couldn’t see that, she wouldn’t be able to make him. She refused to have another fight today.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I wasn’t _making out_ with him,” she told Jane, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “We were just having lunch. No need for you to be jealous.”

Jane looked taken aback. “I’m not jealous.”

“Yes, you are,” Lisbon insisted. “So stop it. I just spent an hour arguing with Marcus about you, I’m not gonna spend another hour arguing with you about Marcus.”

“Why did you go out to lunch with him?” Of all the things he could have asked her, it was this.

“You told me to,” Lisbon reminded him, remembering how readily he had pushed her out the door.

“I didn’t think you would actually do it,” he defended himself, standing up.

Lisbon couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Why not? My boyfriend asked me to go to lunch with him. Why would I say no?”

Jane only laughed coldly.

“What?”

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.” He started to walk past her toward the house, and Lisbon reached out a hand to hold him back, but then thought better of it.

“No, Jane,” she said slowly. “You’re staying. We’re gonna talk about this.” She swallowed hard. “Say what you were going to say.”

Jane stopped, but didn’t turn back around to look at her. “Why did you argue with Pike about me?”

“He kept asking me if I’m cheating on him with you,” Lisbon answered honestly, without hesitation.

“And what did you tell him?” Jane wanted to know.

“The truth.”

“And what’s that?”

Why did he have to ask her that? He already knew the answer because he had been there. “That I never slept with you.”

Jane finally turned around. “So all is good between you two?” he asked, his voice slightly louder than usual.

Lisbon had no idea why he was making this so difficult for the both of them. In her head, she had imagined coming home to him, telling him she had broken up with Pike as a response to him asking how lunch had been, and then Jane would have smiled at her, pulled her close, kissed her. It was her fault, really, for expecting this to play out like a cheesy romantic movie. But she also knew it was in her power to put a stop to this, simply by telling Jane he didn’t need to be jealous because Pike was no longer in the picture. She couldn't say it though, mostly because Jane was treating her so coldly all of a sudden. And also because she would make it true by saying it out loud, and what came after that was _terra incognita_ for both her and Jane. If they didn’t tread carefully, they would end up getting stuck in quicksand.

“No, actually, because I did cheat on him,” Lisbon said slowly. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m not that person.” Saying it out loud like this made her realize how guilty she felt, how much her actions had been a burden to her, and she shivered.

Jane looked at her in surprise. “You never cheated on him.” His voice was calmer, but he still kept his distance.

“I didn’t kiss you or have sex with you, but I cheated on him emotionally,” Lisbon explained quickly. “That’s just as bad.” It was what Pike had said to her, but she couldn’t stop thinking about it. He was right, she had cheated on him. And the worst thing was that, despite her Catholic upbringing and her high moral standards and the feelings of guilt, she didn't regret it.

“We can’t control our feelings.” Jane’s voice was still calm, and the calmer he got, the more upset Lisbon felt, the more her own disappointment in herself came bubbling up to the surface.

“Yes,” she agreed, “but we can make sure to do everything we can not to hurt the people we care about.” She had no idea if she was talking about Pike or Jane or both of them, but she had hurt Pike and she was currently hurting Jane and she had never wanted any of this, she just wanted things to go back to the way they had been. 

“It doesn’t work that way.” Jane made a vague gesture, waving his hand between them. “Case in point.”

“Yeah, well,” Lisbon said with a shrug, “life is messy sometimes, but we can still try to fix things.”

She could see Jane swallow hard. “So you fixed things with Pike? Is that what this lunch was about?”

Lisbon was sure he was toying with her. He, of all people, couldn’t be this oblivious. “Depends on your point of view.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He took another step back.

Or maybe he really had no idea what was going on. Hadn’t he told her he had been having trouble reading her lately? It was a blessing and a curse at the same time. She was so used to him knowing exactly what she was thinking even before the thought had occurred to her, and now she had to adapt to explaining her thoughts and feelings to him. So she decided to tell him the whole story.

Lisbon closed the distance between them again, so they were only an arm’s length apart. Anything closer or further away than that would have hurt her. “When he called me yesterday, he asked me to move to D.C. with him.” She paused, watching Jane’s face carefully, but instead of waiting for her to continue, he, again, took a step back.

“And what?” he asked impatiently. “You’re gonna leave with him?”

“I told him I needed time to think about it,” she continued, trying to ignore the note of panic she had heard in Jane’s voice, “and then he told me during lunch that he’s already talked to his new boss to get me a job.”

“So it’s settled?” Jane pressed. “You’re moving to D.C. with him?”

Lisbon could feel her patience slip. Did he really know her so little? “How can you think that?” she asked, taking a step back herself. The tears she had fought so hard to contain came bubbling to the surface now as she took a deep breath that turned into a sob. “I could never leave you like that.”

Jane opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Lisbon, I –”

“I broke up with him. Are you happy now?”

Jane carefully took a step toward her. “You did what?” he asked softly.

“That’s what you wanted to hear, isn’t it?” Lisbon was shouting again. She was so tired of having to defend herself constantly. “I broke up with him.”

It took Jane just two more steps to close the distance between them and pull her into a hug, and Lisbon threw her arms around him, pressing her face into his shoulder. Then the tears started to flow out of her, as did all her feelings of guilt and restraint. Jane made a soothing _shhh_ -sound and softly stroked her hair while she cried, waiting patiently for her to get it all out. It was only when her breathing calmed that he spoke.

“I’m so sorry he hurt you like this,” he mumbled into her hair.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” was Lisbon’s reply, muffled by the fabric of Jane’s shirt. “It’s not your fault.”

“I’m not completely innocent in that matter. I knew you weren’t single, and yet I pursued you.”

He was rewarded with a giggle for that. “How very Byronic of you.”

Lisbon could feel Jane smile against her hair. “What now?” he asked.

She wanted so many things that she didn’t know where to start. She wanted him to go on holding her like this, she wanted to sit down with him and talk, she wanted to go on another date with him, she wanted to kiss him, she wanted to make him lose his composure, she wanted him to make her moan his name. And suddenly all these things were available to her and it was so overwhelming she didn’t know where to start.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the one who always has a plan?” she teased.

“Yes,” he agreed. Then he pressed a short, hard kiss into her hair. “Wait here,” he whispered.

He was gone before she could protest, leaving her confused and vulnerable, but definitely curious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is half of the story done (more or less). And I'm glad this chapter is over, because it means I can now focus on writing chapters 9-11, which I've been looking forward to since I started writing this story. (And chapter 11 is basically already finished because I couldn't wait to get started on it.)


	9. Sunset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want you, Teresa,” he said honestly, observing every micro-expression on her face closely. “I want to be with you. I want to wake up next to you every morning, and I want to fall asleep next to you every night. Thinking about not getting to see you every day is just … it’s unbearable. I know I’m selfish, and I lie and I push people away to protect myself and I probably don’t deserve you, but –”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched "La La Land" for the very first time while writing this chapter, and that whole "A Lovely Night" scene has been haunting me ever since, especially the way Ryan Gosling says, "it's wool".

When Jane got back, he was relieved to discover Lisbon hadn’t spent the last two hours it had taken him to arrange everything standing in the garden where he had left her. He hadn’t made it clear he wouldn’t be back within a couple of minutes, and then it had taken him even longer than anticipated to run his errands, so it was already late afternoon. But Lisbon had figured it out.

She was lying on the lounger in the sun, wearing nothing but a black bikini. When Jane had bought an entire wardrobe for her, he hadn’t gotten a bikini or a bathing suit or anything similar because he hadn’t dared. So she must have brought it with her from Austin. He allowed himself to stare for a few short seconds at her relaxed form, worrying she would be bashful once he made his presence known, maybe even more so than under normal circumstances. Added to that was their changed relationship – it _had_ changed, but neither of them knew to which extent yet. Jane hoped he would see her like this often from now on, maybe even in no clothes at all, if he got lucky, but until they had found a way to be comfortable around each other, Lisbon would continue to hide from him. There really was no reason for her to do that. For one, she had already seen Jane in his swimming trunks, so it was only fair to return the favor. And she looked beautiful, a fact of which Jane was already aware, but which Lisbon might not know, so she would try to cover herself up.

Jane knew he couldn’t linger in the door frame forever, so, after a minute, he cleared his throat and stepped outside into the garden. Lisbon flinched and opened her eyes, but when she picked up a towel to wrap it around herself, she did so without blushing and without haste.

“You took your time,” she observed. “I was getting worried you wouldn’t come back.”

“Sorry,” Jane said with a soft smile.

“What’s in the bag?” she asked, nodding at a shopping bag Jane held in one hand, eyeing it suspiciously.

“You’ll see,” he answered in what he hoped was a secretive tone of voice. He could tell Lisbon was about to ask, “What now?” so he quickly added, “You should go get dressed; something comfortable will be fine. And don’t forget to bring a jacket.”

“Are we going out?”

“You’ll see,” he said again. “It’s a surprise.”

“Jane, I don’t like surprised,” Lisbon reminded him warily.

“You’ll like this one, I promise.” He wanted to pull her close then, give her a reassuring kiss, but that had to wait. He had waited so many years for their first kiss, a couple of hours more wouldn’t make much of a difference. And he wanted it to be perfect, wanted there to be some build-up, and a quick kiss by the side of the pool in broad daylight just wouldn’t do.

“Give me a hint,” Lisbon demanded.

“I already did,” Jane reminded her. “Bring a jacket. That’s all I’m saying.”

He could tell Lisbon wanted to say more, but she pressed her lips together and nodded. “Give me half an hour,” she said.

“All right,” he agreed. “But there’s no need to hurry.”

He watched her climb the stairs to her room, then followed her slowly, battling his nerves, telling himself everything would be fine. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this nervous, and for him not to be able to recall something like that meant he hadn’t felt this way in years. But maybe it had been shortly before he had seen Lisbon again after his return from the island, when he had opened the door to the room she was waiting in, because he had no idea how she would react to seeing him. He had definitely felt nervous then, and telling himself everything would be fine hadn’t helped. She had surprised him by smiling and pulling him into a hug – he wouldn’t have blamed her if she had punched him.

But this was different. This was something he had wanted for years and he was terrified of messing it up. And he couldn’t hide behind walls or jokes or pretenses because there was no reason for that anymore. If this date didn’t go as planned, he couldn’t pretend it hadn’t been a real date, because they were finally both on the same page and knew exactly what they were doing. This also meant the stakes were much higher and if he messed this up, it would be much harder to repair the damage.

Jane took a quick shower, then got dressed, trying to breathe calmly. He tried to convince himself there really was no need to be this worried, this wasn’t the first date he was going on. He had it all planned out, it would be fine, nothing could go wrong. And if Lisbon felt uncomfortable at any time during the next couple of hours, he would give her the space to tell him so and stop what he was doing. All he wanted to do was give her space anyway to talk to him and say whatever it was she wanted to say.

It wasn’t his first date – but it was the first one that mattered in over a decade.

Once Jane was satisfied with his appearance, he went back downstairs to wait for Lisbon in the living room where they had played the drinking game. He couldn’t believe that hadn’t even been two days ago. It felt much longer to him – so much had happened since then, everything had changed, and yet somehow everything was still the same. He tried sitting on the couch, but when that didn’t work, he began pacing up and down the living room, willing himself to calm down before facing Lisbon. Acting like a nervous schoolboy picking up his date for prom would be embarrassing.

Jane managed just in time to get a grip on himself before he heard Lisbon’s footsteps on the stairs. He took a deep breath and turned so he was facing the door where she would appear, his hands behind his back, allowing himself to rock back and forth on his heels twice before standing absolutely still.

When Lisbon walked through the door and spotted Jane, she froze and stared at him. In response, his heart began to race like that of a small rabbit faced with a northern goshawk. She looked beautiful in the light-blue linen dress she was wearing, like she was ready for a day at the beach, followed by a romantic sunset dinner. Her shoulders were exposed, except for two thin straps that held up the dress, but she carried a thin black jersey under one arm. Her hair was open, covering her shoulders and flowing down her back; she kept it out of her face with a pair of sunglasses that she used as a hairband. Again, he found himself fighting down the urge to walk over to her and kiss her, but it helped that she couldn’t stop staring at him (like he found himself unable to look away from her appearance), which finally made him smile and break the tension.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

Lisbon took a couple of steps toward him, then extended a hand as if she meant to touch him but lowered it again before she looked up at him. “Won’t you be hot?” she asked.

Jane looked down at his arms which were covered by two layers (shirt and jacket), and his chest, which was covered by three layers (shirt, jacket, and vest), then shrugged. “Yeah well, that’ll give me an excuse to take off my jacket.” He winked at her.

Lisbon rolled her eyes but blushed. “Where did you even get it from?” she asked.

“They have stores here in Key West, you know?” Jane replied.

The blush vanished from Lisbon’s cheeks. “Was that what was in the bag? You got it for me? Because I said …?”

The urge to lean down and kiss her until the confusion vanished from her face was unbearable, and he decided to hide behind a wall one last time. “I want you to have something nice to look at.”

Lisbon giggled, which wasn’t helping him get control of his need to kiss her.

“We should leave,” he said finally. “It’s not far, we can walk.”

Lisbon stopped laughing and gave him a curious look but refrained from asking again what he had planned.

Jane led the way back to Duval Street and toward the marina where they had met with Kris the day before. But instead of walking hand in hand, like they had already done on several occasions, they kept their distance, both too nervous to make a move, both too worried about doing the wrong thing. Jane would have loved nothing more than to hold Lisbon’s hand, but he had to remind himself she had only broken up with her boyfriend a couple of hours ago and he didn’t want to move too fast. It was she who should be setting the pace, and his own needs had to take a backseat. Still, there was no harm in complimenting her, which he had, so far, failed to do.

“You look lovely, by the way.” He glanced at her, watching her carefully.

Lisbon tried to act nonchalantly, but she blushed anyway. “Thanks,” she said. “You too. Handsome, I mean.” She bit her bottom lip then, making his stomach clench.

He had planned to take things slowly, to talk first, to give her space to set her own pace, but she wasn't making it easy for him. He had no idea how long he would still be able to fight down his own urges, and the only thing that kept him sane was his fear of messing this up. If he picked the wrong moment to make a move or if he didn’t wait for Lisbon to make one first, it could have terrible consequences. That didn’t stop him wondering if they should just have stayed at home. Maybe he had only decided to go out because he was scared of what being alone with Lisbon might lead to. Still, they were almost at their destination, and he had to get rid of any thoughts of what he might want to do to her if they were at home.

He cleared his throat. “Thank you.” Then he smirked. “We’re almost here.”

Lisbon looked around. “Where?” she asked, immediately on guard.

Jane laughed. “Don’t give me that suspicious look. It’s over there.” He put one hand on her shoulder and pointed at where he wanted Lisbon to look.

They had reached the marina. It was very busy – tourists returning from a day trip at sea, boats returning from fishing trips, and the occasional group of rich people on their way to their yachts. But Jane was not pointing at one of the tour boats or at the expensive yachts or even at the restaurant located next to the marina. He was pointing at a sign that read “boat rentals”.

“Jane, no,” Lisbon said immediately.

Unperturbed, Jane continued, “I rented a boat for us for the evening.”

“You know I don’t like boats.”

“That’s why it’s the perfect plan. You never saw it coming. Come on.”

Without thinking about it, he took Lisbon’s hand and led her down the pier to where a couple of boats lay tied up. The one he had rented was seven yards in length and white in color, except for a blue band running around its middle. The console was in the center of the boat, with a small bench at its back and a cushioned seating area at the bow.

Lisbon, who had followed Jane reluctantly, let go of his hand. “You don’t even know how to operate that,” she said with a sigh.

“Sure I do,” Jane answered with a shrug. “They wouldn’t have let me rent it otherwise.” He climbed onto the boat and extended his hand to Lisbon. “Come on.”

Lisbon crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Give me one good reason, Jane.”

“I can give you three,” Jane answered, not pulling back his hand. “You get the first one for free, but if you want to hear the others, you’ll have to come on board first.”

Lisbon didn’t say anything.

“It’s a nice day,” Jane said, pointing at the deep blue of the sky. “What better way to end it than on a boat?”

Lisbon relaxed her shoulders but didn’t move.

“I’ll stay close to the shore. I promise,” he added with emphasis.

Finally, Lisbon moved toward him, took his hand, and climbed onto the boat as well. Jane guided her to the cushioned seating area at the bow, a hand at the small of her back, and she stepped very carefully, even though the boat lay completely still in the calm water of the marina. Lisbon sat down and ran her hand over the fabric of her dress before she looked at Jane.

“What are the other two reasons?” she asked.

“I want to watch the sunset with you,” Jane went on. “Key West is famous for its sunsets. People come from all over the world to see them.”

“Why do you want to watch the sunset with me?”

Jane shrugged. “You know …”

Even though Lisbon’s knuckles were white from gripping the bench, she had a teasing glint in her eyes when she said, “Jane, is this a date?”

Her reaction surprised him. “You know it is.”

“I do?”

Jane opened his mouth to reply, but she interrupted him.

“I know it is, I’m sorry, I’m just teasing you.”

Jane sat down next to her and took her hand in his. “We’ll have privacy on the boat,” he said. “We can talk.”

“Why do we need privacy for that?” Lisbon asked.

Jane shrugged again. “Do you want something to drink?”

He pointed at a small, portable fridge tugged away under the bench opposite theirs.

“Is there anything you’re not prepared for?”

“I don’t think we have life vests,” Jane said teasingly, then jumped up before she could punch him. “Just sit back and relax,” he told her, stepping behind the console. “I’ll make sure we get there safely.”

Jane started the boat and carefully steered it out past the others that lay tied up at the pier. As soon as they were moving, the boat started rocking from side to side slightly, causing Lisbon to tighten her grip on the bench even more. Jane knew there was no reason for her to be scared, but he didn’t want to cause her alarm, so he drove as carefully as possible out into the harbor and then toward Sunset Key. It wouldn’t take them long to get to the spot he had chosen for their date, and he hoped Lisbon would calm down once they arrived there.

The water was a calm, light blue; it was possible to see swarms of tiny fish beneath the surface. The sun had begun to sink lower (Jane guessed they had maybe ninety minutes left until sunset), so there were already other boats around, with people on board who had had the same idea. But Lisbon didn’t watch the fish or the other boats; she stared straight ahead at the horizon, looking completely focused, her body rigid, refusing to follow the motions of the boat. Once they were past Sunset Key, however, and Jane had steered the boat to the right, she stood up to join him. She was still keeping her distance, reluctant to move too much because she didn’t want to upset the boat and because she didn’t want to distract Jane. But she was there, watching him. The further they went away from Key West, the more relaxed Lisbon became until almost all the worry was gone from her face, and she looked around with mild interest.

Three hundred yards off the shore of Wisteria Island, Jane stopped the boat and dropped the anchor. He opened the portable fridge to get a beer for Lisbon and himself, then motioned for her to sit down next to him, so the island was behind them, and the open sea ahead.

“What’s that?” Lisbon asked, pointing at the land behind them.

“Wisteria Island,” Jane answered, “or Christmas Tree Island, if you prefer.”

“Does anyone live there?”

“Why? Are you interested in buying it?”

Lisbon laughed dryly.

Jane took a sip out of his beer bottle. “So how are you feeling?”

Lisbon pulled a face. “I’m pretty sure I’m gonna die tonight on this death trap.”

“Look around you,” Jane said, pointing at several other boats, “everyone is out here. If we sink, I’m sure someone will rescue us.”

Lisbon smiled softly at him. “No, I’m just messing with you; this is very romantic.”

Jane smiled his mischievous smile that he knew Lisbon liked even though she would never admit to it. “Already? I haven’t even started yet.” Then he added, for good measure, “Don’t make it too easy for me.”

“Started what?” Lisbon asked innocently.

Jane took off his jacket as casually as possible, then proceeded to roll up his sleeves. “Oh, you know …” He shrugged.

Lisbon smirked. “I always wondered what it would be like to be on the receiving end of Patrick Jane flirting.”

Jane couldn’t help but feel slightly offended. “I flirted loads with you.”

Lisbon’s smile vanished behind a serious expression. “But never like this,” she said slowly. “You always meant it as a joke.”

Jane pulled a face. “Not always, but I take your point.” He paused briefly. “So, am I keeping up with your expectations?” He had meant it as a joke, but Lisbon’s face darkened, and he immediately backtracked. “Don’t answer that, I’m gonna find out for myself if I’m doing this right.”

Lisbon smiled softly as a reply. “You know what would help? Food. I haven’t eaten all day.”

Jane was relieved he hadn’t ruined the mood. “Well, we can’t have you enjoy a sunset on an empty stomach.” He stood up again to get Lisbon a sandwich from the fridge.

Lisbon looked grateful as she took a bite. “So this is what dating Patrick Jane is like.”

Jane’s heart began to beat faster, and once Lisbon had swallowed, and it dawned on her what she had said, she glanced at Jane quickly.

“What did you think it would be like?” Jane asked in a steady tone of voice, making sure she knew she didn’t need to feel embarrassed for what she had said.

Lisbon looked relieved and shrugged. “I’m not thinking anything, I’m waiting for you to surprise me.”

“It’s not much of a surprise if you’re waiting for it,” Jane replied.

“So far, everything about this day is a surprise,” Lisbon said.

“Still, I’m sure you have certain expectations …”

“You always manage to surprise me, even when I’m expecting it,” Lisbon pointed out. “Here, let me demonstrate.” She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on Jane’s cheek, making his heart jump. “You were expecting this, and yet you’re surprised.”

Jane could feel a blush spread from his neck to his face. “I was not expecting that.”

Lisbon leaned back again. “Jane –”

“Yes, we should talk,” Jane quickly finished the sentence for her. “I know. That’s why I brought you here. We’re surrounded by water; no matter what we say and what it might make us feel, we can’t run away.”

Lisbon took a deep breath. “Well then, talking about expectations … what are yours?”

There were so many things Jane wanted, some he couldn’t say out loud because it was way too early to expect them of her, some he could only whisper in the darkness of the bedroom, some he hoped Lisbon wanted too, but he couldn’t admit to wanting them without hearing her say she was hoping for the same. So he just shrugged.

“I don’t have any.”

Lisbon gave him a stern look. “Jane, if you want this to work, we have to be honest with each other.”

“You start then,” Jane challenged. “You clearly have something you want to say.”

Lisbon shifted on the bench. “I don’t know. There are things I want, things I’ve wanted for a long time, but I’m not sure you want them, too.”

Jane thought it was endearing that Lisbon had the same doubts as he. She was right – they needed to be honest with each other. And with themselves.

“Like what?” he asked softly.

Jane mostly wanted three things. The first one, which determined the others and possible sub-categories, was for Lisbon to set the pace. He was happy to go along with whatever she wanted. The second thing was to kiss Lisbon, which, as he got closer to it, made him feel nervous and light-headed and excited. But if he would do it tonight or on any of the nights that followed, was entirely up to her. And, finally, he wanted nothing more than for this to work.

“Don’t tease me,” Lisbon said quietly.

“I’m sorry,” Jane apologized. Then he added, “I –” at the same time as she said, “Listen –”

“You first,” Jane said with a small nod.

Lisbon took another deep breath and bit her lip, this time in thought. She didn’t look at Jane but past him at the horizon, when she started. “These last few days were nice,” she said very slowly, as if she had to think about the meaning of each individual word before uttering it. “But they were also … confusing. I don’t know. I … you were great. _Are_ great. I mean, I like spending time with you. Not just for the case, in general.” She slowly turned her head until she was looking at him, but her eyes were locked to a spot somewhere between his throat and his chest, avoiding his eyes. “Yesterday evening was … I had a lot of fun. And I’m sorry if I might have been cold in the beginning, or distant. I just knew letting you come close to me would eventually lead to this.”

Now it was Jane’s turn to take a deep breath. He could feel she was holding back, that there was more she wanted to say, or things she wanted to say differently, but she had also given him confirmation she had had feelings for him before coming to Key West with him. A heavy weight was lifted off his chest when he heard this because a small part of him had still been worried she had only fallen for him because of him pretending to be her boyfriend.

“Would that have been so bad?” he finally asked carefully.

She looked up then, right into his eyes, and her gaze was so intense he had to fight the urge to look away. “I was in a relationship, so yes, it would have been bad. And sometimes I wasn’t sure if you were flirting with me or if you were just acting like you were for the case.”

Jane nodded slowly. “Yes, I was afraid of that. I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between me and the character I was playing.”

“You didn’t make it easy for me.”

Jane wasn’t sure if he should take this as a compliment. “That’s true. But I also had trouble telling the difference.”

“But this is real, right?” Lisbon asked, looking down at Jane’s hands, then back up again into his eyes.

For a brief moment, Jane considered saying, “I’m shocked you have to ask,” but decided the situation called for a more serious tone. Instead, he nodded gravely. “Yes, this is real.”

Lisbon moved closer to Jane until she could rest her head against his chest. He put an arm around her shoulder. “I want it to be,” she said softly, “that’s one of the things I want, anyway.”

Jane smiled because this was one of things he wanted, too. “What are the others?” he asked.

He could feel Lisbon shake her head. “No. It’s your turn to tell me one of the things _you_ want.”

Jane sighed thoughtfully and pulled Lisbon a tiny bit closer to him. “I want us not to overthink this. I want us to take our time, I want us not to rush this.”

“Yes, I think I can do that,” was Lisbon answers, but her voice didn’t sound as steady as Jane would have liked, as if she wasn’t entirely happy with what Jane had said.

“But I also want us to be honest about what we want,” Jane continued, “so I’m just gonna say it.” He took a deep breath and felt Lisbon’s head move against his chest, following its rise and fall. “I want to be with you, Teresa, in whatever way you want me to be. If you don’t want another relationship right away, that’s fine, I can understand that. But you need to know that I’ll wait for you until you’re ready.”

Lisbon straightened her back and took Jane’s hand into hers. She squeezed it softly, entwined their fingers, then let both their hands rest on her thigh. “No, I want this. I already spent so much time wondering what it would be like. And I know you’re going to tease me about it, but I’m gonna tell you anyway: This last week has been one of the happiest of my life. Just being here with you.”

“Why would I tease you –?” Jane started, but Lisbon let go of his hand to put a finger against his lips.

“Shush,” she made, but it was unnecessary because Jane had forgotten how to talk anyway at the feeling of her finger against his lips. “Let me finish. Knowing you are doing all these things for me … I don’t want you to stop. And I know you’re just gonna say you haven’t even started yet, but just the thought of you … of us continuing like this, is so overwhelming that I can’t tell you what I want because I don’t know where to start.”

Jane was overwhelmed by everything she had said, and all he could do was repeat his previous thought. “That’s why we should take this slowly and just do what feels right.”

Lisbon groaned in frustration. “But everything feels right.”

Jane smiled, feeling flattered. “I’ve waited a long time for this,” he said in an attempt to calm her.

“Yeah, me too,” she admitted. The smile was back on her face, and the slowly sinking sun gave her skin a soft glow.

Jane stared at her in awe, torn between pulling her close and kissing her, and finishing this conversation first. In the end, he opted for the second thing because there were still some things he needed her to hear.

“Since before I left,” he added quickly. “I just never said anything because I was scared Red John would use you to get to me and I would have never forgiven myself if anything had happened to you.”

“I know.” Lisbon leaned back and regarded him with a sad look on her face. “But when you got back … you never said anything.”

Jane swallowed. “You were so angry with me. And you had every right to be, of course,” he added quickly when she opened her mouth. “I was waiting for you to get used to me again. I would never have asked you out while we were still working through what I had done to you. And when I got the feeling we were finally ready to move on, you _did_ move on. Without me.”

Lisbon looked as if the memory was causing her pain. “After you got back, I expected you to say something, anything. I waited and waited. I thought I would never see you again, and when I did, it was overwhelming, and it brought back so many feelings I had tried to bury.”

Jane could see how much he had hurt her, and he wished things would have been different. He wished he wouldn’t have had to run after killing Red John, he even wished Lisbon had been there beside him. But he couldn’t change the past; all he could do was try to make things right and look into the future.

“I was so happy when I had you back,” Lisbon continued, “and I thought if I gave you enough time you would, I don’t know, ask me out or something. I hoped you would, anyway. But you never did. And in the end, I got tired of waiting for you, Jane.”

“Why did _you_ never say anything?” Jane wanted to know.

“I was never sure,” Lisbon answered. “I wanted there to be more, but the way you acted around me, the way you act in general … it’s enough to make any woman fall in love with you.” She suddenly looked small, as if she had shrunken a few sizes.

Jane pulled her into a hug, then whispered into her hair, “But I would never trick _you_ , not like this, not about something as important as this.”

“I can’t read minds like you can. I was so caught up in my own feelings, I was scared I was misreading you because I wanted there to be something. I was scared of ruining our friendship, I was scared of losing you as a friend. And I’m still scared of that.”

“But you don’t know you’ll lose me if you never try,” Jane pointed out, letting go of her so he could look at her.

Lisbon laughed coldly. “I lose everyone I’ve ever been close to.”

“That’s life; we lose everyone in the end,” Jane reminded her.

“Don’t be cruel,” Lisbon reprimanded him. “That’s not what I’m trying to say. I sabotage every relationship I’ve ever had, so I’m scared I’ll also sabotage what we could potentially have.”

“Believe me, I’m more scared of this than of anything we do out there in the field,” Jane admitted. “I’m terrified. The thought of letting anyone close to me is so frightening, just thinking about it makes me want to run. But I need to give it a try because not knowing if this could work is actually worse. Even if I lose you it’s still better than having to ask myself constantly what could have been.”

Lisbon shrugged. “Maybe I’m not as brave as you are.”

Jane huffed. He wanted to laugh, but he had a feeling Lisbon wouldn’t take it too well if he did. “I didn’t tell you either. I should have told you the minute you started dating Pike. Seeing you with him … at first, I didn’t say anything because I told myself I didn’t mind, but then every time you two were together, I …” He stopped because he couldn’t tell her what it had felt like to see her with Pike, to know Pike had everything he wanted just because Jane had been too much of a coward to talk to Lisbon. It had been like touching the leaves of a stinging brush – one brush with it was enough to cause pain for several years.

He didn’t need to voice to his feelings. “I know,” she said.

“I didn’t come here to seduce you away from Pike.” While they were on the subject of Lisbon’s ex-boyfriend, Jane had to clarify this. He needed her to know that, because if she thought it had just been one of his tricks again, she would hold it against him sooner or later. “I just wanted us to get close again. And then when we were here, together, it just brought back so many memories, and it reminded me of … of losing my family, and it made me realize how terrified I am of losing you, too. But then you … then we suddenly were comfortable and happy with each other and I had to take the risk. I had to know if what I had been dreaming about for years could be real.”

Lisbon had tears in her eyes now and once she realized this, she wiped them away. “Why didn’t you say something?” Her voice was taut with anger and frustration.

Now Jane couldn’t stop a short, dry laugh from escaping his lips. “You were so angry with me for asking you to move to Austin, I promised myself I would never push you like this again. I wanted you to do what made you happy, and if it was being with Pike, then I was ready to accept that. But it had to be your decision.”

“No, it’s not fair to put this all on me,” Lisbon said, the tears now running down her cheeks. “If you had said something, everything would have been different. I just needed to know you cared … that was all. I couldn’t leave Pike thinking that you _might_ have feelings for me only to discover you had been acting like this for the case. I could have lost you. I just didn’t want to be alone again. And I didn’t want to lose you, not for a second time.”

Jane raised his hand and wiped away the tears on her cheeks with his thumb. “I told you, you’re not going to lose me, no matter what,” he said softly.

“Then tell me what you want,” Lisbon demanded.

So they had come full circle. They were back to the start of their conversation, and this time Jane had no excuse not to say what was on his mind.

“I want you, Teresa,” he said honestly, observing every micro-expression on her face closely. “I want to be with you. I want to wake up next to you every morning, and I want to fall asleep next to you every night. Thinking about not getting to see you every day is just … it’s unbearable. I know I’m selfish, and I lie and I push people away to protect myself and I probably don’t deserve you, but –”

Lisbon interrupted him. “Jane, no –”

“No, it’s your turn to let me finish,” Jane said with emphasis. Then he added, “Teresa, I love you.”

For a second, he wasn’t sure if it had been the right thing to say. Suddenly, her gaze was absent as she stared first at the horizon, where the sun was now almost touching the water, and then back at Jane with an expression he couldn’t read.

“And you really expect me to take things slowly after this?” she finally asked.

Jane didn’t know what to say to that, so he just stared.

Lisbon smiled softly at him. “You don’t even see it, do you?” she asked. “You keep insisting you’re selfish, but you were prepared to throw away your happiness because you thought it was the only way _I_ could be happy. You’ve tried to protect me since the day I met you and even now … I wouldn’t have needed all this,” she made a sweeping gesture, “a simple candlelight dinner would have been enough, but you rented a boat and took me out here to look at this.” She turned, so she was looking at the sunset again before she continued. “So how can you think I wouldn’t want to be with you when it’s the only thing I can think about? And how do you expect me to take things slowly when we already wasted so much time?”

Now it was Jane’s turn to smile. “You think we wasted time?”

Lisbon punched his arm softly. “Be quiet and watch your sunset.”

She still had her eyes fixed on the spectacle of the sun slowly sinking into the waves. The whole area was plunged into a deep red color, every other boat around them was just a dark shape with no discernible features. It was as if they were the only two people out here, the only two people for thousands of miles. The sun was setting just for them, and taking this day with it, this day that had changed so much between them, a day Jane would keep in a very special place in his memory palace forever.

While Lisbon was looking at the sunset, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her soft features, her relaxed gaze. She was sitting so close to him he could see every eyelash, every little freckle, the soft skin of her arms where small goosebumps erupted every time a breeze blew over them. In all his life, he had never seen a sight more beautiful, a sight worthier of having poems and sonnets written about, and he was just about to tell Lisbon so, when she broke the silence.

“What?” she asked, turning her gaze away from the sunset to look at him.

Jane raised his hand and softly put it against Lisbon’s cheek. Her gaze turned from mild amusement to something entirely different. He could see excitement and lust in her eyes, but also still some traces of doubt and even panic. She knew what was happening next and so did he, and there was no reason to stop now.

Jane leaned in slowly, watching Lisbon, expecting her eyes to dart nervously around, but instead she closed them the second her brain caught up with what was happening. Jane’s pulse was racing, his hand that wasn’t on Lisbon’s cheek was trembling, but once he also closed his eyes and just let himself be engulfed by the feeling of her breath on his skin and then her lips against his, everything stopped. There was nothing left in the world except her soft lips and the sparks they ignited up and down his spine.

He kissed her slowly, deliberately, determined to savor every moment, to commit what he was feeling to his memory in every tiny detail, but then he felt her stiffen for a moment, and immediately pulled back.

“Is this okay?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

Instead of an answer, Lisbon rolled her eyes, then grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him close. She kissed him deeply, hungrily, and he kissed her back the same, his brain unable to process that this was finally happening, but the rest of his body catching up much faster. He had expected her to be careful, like she had been treating him these last few months, but she was the opposite, she was all teeth and tongue, quick bites and determined hands, first holding him close by his collar, then moving up to grab his hair, to run her nails up from the nape of his neck to his scalp. When she pulled his hair in the heat of the moment, a small moan escaped his lips, and he could feel her smirk.

What Lisbon hadn’t counted on was Jane’s competitive side. Her advances had momentarily caught him by surprise, but he knew from previous experience he could make Lisbon lose her cool just as easily as she could reduce his brain functions to follow only the most primal needs. Lisbon was right – they had wasted so much time. There was no way they would be able to take things slowly the way he had imagined it.

Jane moved his hand, which was still on Lisbon’s cheek, to the back of her neck and pulled softly at her hair so she was forced to expose her neck to him. Then he broke the kiss and covered the newly exposed skin with bites and open-mouthed kisses until Lisbon was squirming. When he pressed a soft kiss to the spot right behind her ear, then began to trail down her neck with both his lips and the nail of his thumb before biting down just above the collarbone, he was finally rewarded with a sound he had been longing to hear for years: a soft, small whimper that turned into a breathy moan. It awakened a feeling in the pit of his stomach that could only be satisfied by them continuing what they had started.

But just as Lisbon hadn’t counted on Jane’s competitive side, he had also not counted on her having one as well. Instead of letting him continue, she pulled her knees up onto the bench and then straddled him. When she kissed him again, he was unable to reciprocate because Lisbon being on top of him, her legs brushing up against his, was something neither his brain nor his body could process.

Lisbon was unperturbed; when she realized he wasn’t responding to her advances, she, too, paid attention to his neck with kisses and bites, her hands tangled up in his hair. He hadn’t expected her to be like this, had expected he would have to be the one to take charge, and he was so surprised that all he could do was put one hand in her thigh and the other on her hip to keep her in place. When another one of Lisbon’s bites made his hips jerk, he heard her giggle right next to his ear.

It was his turn to ask, “What?”

“I am an officer of the law,” Lisbon whispered into his ear. “And I’m pretty sure if we continue like this, we might soon get arrested.”

“I’m not doing anything. This is all you,” Jane pointed out.

Lisbon giggled again, then grabbed his wrist and led his hand to her backside. “Now you’re not so innocent either anymore.”

Jane looked up into her eyes, into the eyes of the woman he had loved for so many years, marveling at how she always managed to surprise him. Then he kissed her again, biting down on her lip, making her jump with surprise, which was followed by several breathy moans when the kiss turned more heated. They were so close together now that Jane couldn’t tell where his body ended and hers began. When he decided he had tortured her enough, he pulled away.

“We’re not going to have sex on a boat, Teresa,” he said, his voice deep with desire.

Lisbon threw him a glance that said, “Yeah, right”.

“Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer to have a bed under me for that, not the ocean.”

Lisbon moved to the side again, but before he could complain, she cuddled up to him. “Is that a promise?” she asked.

“Just let me surprise you,” he answered.

Then they watched, her legs entwined with his, as the last rays of sunshine were swallowed by the dark sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't expect the case to progress for the next couple of chapters, Jane and Lisbon still have to work through some things.


	10. Thunderstorm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It finally felt like a holiday, or rather a honeymoon, but Lisbon refused to let her mind wander into that particular direction. She knew it wasn’t supposed to feel like either of these things; after all, she was here to work, to solve a case, not to go sightseeing or spend the day at the beach. But when Jane motioned for her to join him, then stepped behind her and slung his arms around her body, she thought no one would be able to blame her for this little indulgence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Hemingway House is one of the few things in Key West I've actually been to, and I even bought one of his books there, To Have and Have Not, which, as it turns out, I don't vibe with at all. But Hemingway also wrote The Snows of Kilimanjaro while he lived in Key West, and that's my favorite short story of all time, so I'm gonna cut the man some slack.
> 
> Anyway, the Hemingway House isn't all that important for this chapter, but I still spent a lot of time googling information about it and I ended up on the official website (hemingwayhome dot com) and got distracted because they have a webcam where you can watch all the cats that live at the museum run around the garden. That's the reason it took me so long to finish this chapter - I was watching cats. The cats are also on Instagram, by the way (hemingwayhomecats).
> 
> Also, quick warning: Some parts of this chapter might go into a more ... explicit direction, but it's not too explicit. You see what I mean when you read it.

In the end, Jane got his wish to take things slowly. Lisbon protested at first, but when they got home and she sat down in the kitchen for a glass of water and felt her eyes droop from exhaustion, she had to admit Jane’s way probably was the better one. It was also still hot, even with the sun gone, and Lisbon didn’t want their first time together to be uncomfortable because they were both slick with sweat. Then again, the chances of the weather turning and becoming more bearable were close to zero. Maybe she would have to wait until they got back to Austin. Would it really be so bad to wait for another day or even a week though? Wasn’t kissing Jane such a novelty that it would take her brain a couple of days anyway to catch up with what was happening?

Once her glass of water was empty, Jane accompanied her upstairs, but waited outside her bathroom while she got changed, perched on the edge of her bed, his hands on his thighs, looking nervous. Lisbon had to smile when she saw him like this.

“You can stay here if you want,” she told him cautiously, not sure if it would go against Jane’s wish to take things slowly. They had shared a bed before, after all.

“I’d like that,” he replied.

“Do you want to go and change or are you going to be sleeping like this?” Lisbon asked, nodding at his outfit. She couldn’t figure out how he could bear wearing so many layers when it felt like a hundred degrees, even at night.

“I … uh … I don’t actually have any clothes to sleep in,” Jane admitted. “I don’t really need them.”

The man had been wearing the same pair of shoes for more than ten years, of course he didn’t own clothes to sleep in. “You bought a whole wardrobe of dresses for me, but you didn’t think of getting yourself a pair of pajamas?” Lisbon asked incredulously.

“I don’t sleep a lot,” Jane reminded her. “It would have been a waste of money.”

Lisbon sat down on the bed next to him. “I don’t mind if you sleep in your shirt or just your boxers. You don’t have to be bashful on my account.” She also wouldn’t have minded had he undressed completely, but she bit back that comment, feeling like it wouldn’t go down well with him.

She hadn’t expected it to be this way; she had expected Jane to be the one to take charge, to tell her exactly what he wanted, what he needed. But instead she had to lead him, assure him that whatever he had planned was fine, that she didn’t mind him sleeping in her bed, even if he wasn’t wearing anything. It would take them some time to get used to each other like this. But even though it wasn’t what Lisbon had expected, she was still too excited to be disappointed or annoyed. Instead, she began to unbutton Jane’s vest, the one he had gotten specifically to please her, even though he must have been unbearably hot wearing it, and Jane let her do it, watching her curiously.

“You can help, you know,” Lisbon reminded him in a teasing tone of voice.

“Sorry,” Jane mumbled and kicked off his shoes.

He finished undressing himself until he was wearing nothing but his boxer shorts. Lisbon, who had seen him like this only once before, managed to not stare at him too much as he climbed onto the bed, lying down on top of the covers before motioning for Lisbon to join him. Lisbon had to think about the last time they had shared a bed (had it really only been two days ago?) and how she had been terrified of touching him even though there had been nothing she had wanted more than to cuddle up to him. Now she was allowed to do it, was on the verge of doing it, and she had to close her eyes before closing the distance between them, because it would have been too intense otherwise.

Jane’s arms were soft as they closed around her and she carefully put her head on his chest, moving around until she was comfortable and until she knew she wasn’t disrupting Jane’s blood flow to any vital organs. His body was radiating heat, stoking up her own, but she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Another night spent not being held by Jane would have been one too many. Jane pressed a kiss into her hair, and she pressed herself closer to him in response. As she fell asleep, she caught herself hoping he would still be there in the morning when she woke up.

* * *

Lisbon opened her eyes slowly. She felt as if she hadn’t slept at all. It couldn’t have been more than five minutes since she had closed her eyes. But it was day outside. The sunlight had already reached the bed and was tickling her naked feet, a promise of another hot day to come. She yawned and stretched, then yawned a second time before turning to her side and coming face to face with Jane who was watching her intently.

It was a surprise to see him by her side, a very pleasant surprise, another bit of evidence that he was serious about this. He had made a point of waiting until she had woken up, hadn’t left the room under the, certainly well-intentioned, pretense of cooking breakfast for her. Seeing him like this, illuminated by the morning sun, his hair ruffled, somehow curlier than it usually was, his body almost entirely naked, his eyes staring at her like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen made her realize she never wanted to wake up any other way ever again.

“Morning,” she said, leaned forward, and pressed a soft kiss to Jane’s lips without really thinking about it. It just felt like the right thing to do. “What time is it?”

“Just after ten,” Jane answered, a smile on his lips. “You slept for almost eleven hours.”

Lisbon had to stifle another yawn. “I feel like I haven’t slept at all,” she admitted.

“I know, you kept tossing and turning. Bad dreams?” Jane squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

She shrugged. “No, actually. Just a lot to process, I guess.”

“Like what?” he asked, a playful glint in his eyes.

Lisbon pinched his side. “You know what,” she reprimanded him. “Things like you confessing your love for me and kissing me.”

“I’m sorry, Teresa, I had no idea a little kissing would exhaust you so,” Jane replied. “I promise I’ll hold back in future.”

Lisbon glared at him. “Don’t you dare!”

Jane chuckled, a sound Lisbon had never heard him made before. “Do you really think I could hold back?” he asked.

Lisbon sat up and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “It’s impossible to tell when you’re serious and when you’re just making fun of me.”

Jane sat up too and pulled her close, his hands burning invisible imprints into her skin. “I wouldn’t dare make fun of you.” Then he kissed her softly, first her lips, then her cheek, then her neck. “I told you before, you terrify me.” Another kiss on her lips, this time accompanied by a small nip, and Lisbon couldn’t be angry with him anymore. He stopped when he felt her smile.

“Don’t think you’ll manage to appease me with kisses every time we fight from now on.” Lisbon’s voice was stern, but she leaned in for another kiss, and Jane happily obliged.

It wouldn’t take as long as she had thought to get used to this after all. In fact, it would take no time at all. Maybe she would still have to remind herself she was now allowed to kiss Jane whenever she felt like it but kissing him was already the most natural thing in the world. What would be hard was keeping herself from doing it every ten seconds. Jane held her in a tight embrace and hummed contently when she put her hand on his naked thigh, her own boldness coming as a shock to her. He deepened the kiss and she let him, even though she felt sweat wetting her brow; the humid air was making them stick together uncomfortably, making her crave a cold shower. But the shower was only an afterthought, a “nice to have”. It wasn’t essential for her survival like being close to Jane was. Her surprise at waking up next to him was slowly replaced by a different feeling, a much more carnal emotion, fueled by his kisses and the way he responded to her.

Lisbon could feel Jane eagerly pull at her hips and she moved so she was straddling him again and he could hold onto her, his shyness from yesterday evening having vanished completely. Encouraged by his touches, Lisbon let her hands run down his chest, high on the feeling of finally being able to do this, before resting one at the nape of his neck and the other on his cheek. She could feel the heat was getting to him just as much as it was getting to her, but he refused to break the kiss, so she didn’t want to be the first to give in either. The kiss became more heated still, and it didn’t take long until Lisbon was panting, aching for more. Jane hadn’t kissed her like this the previous evening, hadn’t used this much tongue, hadn’t held her in place with an iron grip so she was at his mercy, and it made her hope he had a certain activity in mind for this morning. She definitely wouldn’t be opposed to the idea, so she let the hand that had been on his cheek run down his chest again, slowly, making sure there was no doubt about where she wanted this to go.

Jane grabbed her wrist before she reached his navel. “Breakfast first,” he said, but he sounded breathless, worked up. “And then sightseeing.”

Lisbon groaned and buried her face in his neck. She couldn’t believe he wanted them to stop. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“I can only return that compliment,” Jane said, then inhaled sharply as Lisbon began to kiss her way up from his collarbone to his jaw, nipping at his earlobe, her hand tightly gripping his curls. “Teresa!” he breathed.

“Are you sure you want to have breakfast first?” Lisbon asked in a deliberately low voice, kissing her way back down his neck again. If he was serious about his plans for the day, she needed him to prove it.

She could feel Jane swallow. “No, you’re right,” he said slowly, and her heart began to beat faster in anticipation. “We should shower first, then have breakfast.”

Lisbon sighed and decided to give up. “You’re impossible,” she said, and let herself drop onto the bed next to him.

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Tonight,” he said earnestly. “I promise.”

The way he said the last two words made Lisbon shudder despite the heat. Jane was already at the door when she caught herself.

“Where are you going?” she wanted to know.

“Shower,” Jane answered. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right next door.” His smile was reassuring but it was obvious he knew she was still battling her fear of losing him again.

Yes, despite a feeling of constant happiness having taken over every cell in her body, she was still scared of him vanishing like he had done so often before. She hadn’t fully realized this until the cold water of the shower hit her heated skin and she could finally think clearly again. She was battling her fear of loss, but he was battling something, too. Even though he wanted to be with her, seemed to be fully committed to her, he still refused to let her in completely. And she didn’t just feel frustrated because he had rejected her advances again, she was also worried he was beginning to have second thoughts.

Lisbon was fully aware of her limitations in bed, she knew she had trouble letting another person in herself, but she had also noticed the effect she had on Jane. Why was he still insisting on taking things slowly when it was obvious he wanted her just as much as she wanted him? He was right next door in his own shower, naked, and it would be so easy to join him, to convince him there was nothing he had to be afraid of. But that wasn’t her.

A residue of her doubt still remained after she had cooled down and put on fresh clothes. But once she had climbed down the stairs to the kitchen to find Jane at work, preparing breakfast for her, like he had done often already during their time in Key West, her doubts were blown away. She walked over to him, slung her arms around his chest to pull him close, and pressed a kiss to his neck. She had to stand on her toes to be able to reach so high, but when Jane turned around to face her, it had the advantage that she was almost level with his face, so it was easy for her to kiss him again, fiercely, breathlessly, pushing him back so his lower back connected with the kitchen counter. A surprised sound vibrated in his throat before he kissed her back. He smelled of sandalwood and tasted of toothpaste; smells and tastes were so domestic yet exciting that Lisbon had trouble focusing on the task at hand.

Jane was the one to break the kiss. “What was that for?” he asked.

Lisbon shrugged, acting nonchalantly. “I’m just saying thank you because you’re always cooking for me.”

A smile spread across Jane’s face. “Does that mean, from now on, I get kissed like this every time you want to express your gratitude?”

“Don’t get used to it,” Lisbon told him, taking a step back. “You don’t usually give me much reason to be grateful.”

“Depends on your perspective,” Jane said with a shrug, turning back to the kitchen counter to continue preparing breakfast. “You weren’t very happy when I asked you to come to Key West with me and look at you now.”

Lisbon leaned against the countertop and watched Jane work. Observing his hands was mesmerizing, even if he was just doing a simple task like filling a coffee cup with milk. “All right, I’ll let you have this one,” she finally agreed. “I’m very grateful you convinced me to come.”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Why’s that?”

“Shut up,” Lisbon told him and pinched his arm.

“Ouch,” Jane complained. “I had hoped you would stop doing that, now that we’re …” He didn’t finish the sentence. Instead, he picked up an orange and began to peel it.

Lisbon decided it was her turn to act like she didn’t know what he was talking about. “Now that we’re what?” she asked innocently, nudging his arm with her elbow.

Jane looked serious all of a sudden, almost annoyed. “I don’t know,” he said slowly. “Do we need to label it?”

“I was joking,” Lisbon clarified. She bit her lip, suddenly nervous again. “Sorry.” They were good at kissing, but it didn’t mean they were good at the other stuff, like talking about their feelings. She had grown too comfortable with Jane already, which had only led to her making a mistake.

Jane put down the half-peeled orange and wiped his hands clean on a towel. Then he turned to her and cupped her cheek. The smell of citrus and her agitated state of mind made Lisbon feel nauseous. But Jane only leaned down to press a small kiss against the tip of her nose, then another one to her forehead, and another one to the corner of her mouth, and another one to her brow, and he continued like this until her entire face was burning from the soft brush of his lips against her skin, and she had to giggle.

“Don’t apologize,” he murmured. “I also don’t know what I’m doing most of the time.”

Lisbon sighed with relief. “I think you know exactly what you’re doing,” she teased him.

“Is that so?” he asked and raised an eyebrow.

“Mhm,” she made, and pushed herself up for another kiss. She felt like she would never tire of feeling his lips brush against hers.

“You need to stop doing that or breakfast will be ready in time for dinner,” Jane told her after she was satisfied.

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“I’m getting some food into you and then we’re going out, whether you like it or not,” Jane said determinedly.

Lisbon was still not entirely on board with his plan. “Why can’t we stay in?”

“I want to show you off.”

His answer made her giggle again, but he couldn’t palm her off with a joke. “No, really, Jane.”

“I’m being serious.” He trapped her chin between his thumb and index finger and kissed her softly, just once, then whispered, “I love you.”

It was the third time he had said this to her, and the novelty hadn’t worn off yet. She finally knew what it was supposed to feel like to hear someone say these words. It didn’t fill her with panic or with the urge to run away, it didn’t make her want to break up or make her feel pressured to say it back. She would say it, eventually, she felt the same, after all, but she wasn’t ready yet, and Jane knew this and didn’t push her with words or gestures. He was content to wait, just like he had waited for years until they both had been ready to be with each other.

* * *

In the end, Jane got his wish. Again. After breakfast, he insisted they walk to the southernmost point of the United States, but when they got there, he refrained from asking someone to take their picture. He just stood on the edge of the water and looked out to the south, pretending he could almost make out Cuba in the distance. Lisbon, meanwhile, watched the people around them, families with children, young couples, old couples, all taking the same pictures with the same backdrop: a tall, concrete buoy that had “southernmost point” and “90 miles to Cuba” written on it in big letters. It was another hot day, but Lisbon could see clouds forming in the distance. She had no idea what the weather forecast was and if they should expect another storm like the one on the day she had arrived in Florida, but the clouds were still far away, and Lisbon was sure they would make it home safely before the storm.

It finally felt like a holiday, or rather a honeymoon, but Lisbon refused to let her mind wander into that particular direction. She knew it wasn’t supposed to feel like either of these things; after all, she was here to work, to solve a case, not to go sightseeing or spend the day at the beach. But when Jane motioned for her to join him, then stepped behind her and slung his arms around her body, she thought no one would be able to blame her for this little indulgence.

“I have an idea,” Jane mumbled into her hair, his breath hot against her ear.

“What kind of idea?” Lisbon asked, pulling him closer, hoping that, whatever it was, it would involve spending more time together, just the two of them.

“You won’t like it,” Jane answered, “but I want to go to the Hemingway House.”

It wasn’t what Lisbon had expected, but it meant she now had something to bargain with. “All right,” she agreed, turned around, and kissed him chastely. “But after that I get to pick our next activity.”

“Of course,” Jane said with a smile. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The Hemingway House was only a short walk away from the southernmost point. Lisbon had no idea where Jane’s obsession with Hemingway was coming from, but he read a lot, so it was probably genuine curiosity. She didn’t mind indulging him, she was happy to tag along and spend time with him. And Jane couldn’t keep his eyes off her which made her happier than she was prepared to admit. They were even holding hands again, and Lisbon felt like she had in high school when the boy she had admired from afar had finally asked her out on a date. She knew it was silly, she wasn’t a teenager anymore, but being close to Jane made her nervous and excited and anxious and euphoric all at the same time, it set butterflies loose in her stomach and made everything feel new.

Their destination turned out to be a house like any other in Key West, a mid-19th century villa, bright yellow in color, with a tall brick wall surrounding the property. The grounds were swarming with tourists trying to capture some of Hemingway’s spirit by furtively touching the walls or petting the ancestors of one of his many cats. Lisbon couldn’t tell if there were more visitors stomping up and down the stairwell and through Hemingway’s writing room and past the pool or more cats lounging in the shade of palm trees or following children around, begging for treats and attention. It was hard for Lisbon to see the appeal of the museum; it reminded her of their own house here, even though the furnishings were older and it was smaller, but Jane was enjoying himself so much that any criticism she might have wanted to utter got lost on its way from her brain to her lips. Jane, of course, still noticed she wasn’t enjoying herself as much as he was.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he mumbled as they were climbing up the stairs to Hemingway’s bedroom.

“And what’s that?” Lisbon wanted to know, dodging a group of tourists on a guided tour by pressing herself up against the wall.

“You’re thinking I must be Hemingway’s biggest fan because I dragged you here,” Jane answered, “but you’re wrong.”

“You’re not his biggest fan?”

Jane shrugged. “He’s all right, I guess.”

The group had passed, and they could move again. Lisbon walked up the stairs in front of Jane, trying not to sound exasperated when she asked, “Then why are we here?”

Jane grabbed her wrist and turned her around softly. Lisbon had to flinch when she came face to face with him. He was standing two steps below her and she was so used to being smaller than him that this sudden balance of heights confused her.

“We spend so much time chasing after criminals, worrying about other people’s problems, trying to do the right thing.” His voice was low, so Lisbon had to move closer to understand him. The people brushing past them, talking loudly, stamping their feet on the wooden floors weren’t helping. “I just want to pretend for an hour or two, pretend that all we have to worry about in this world is us.”

“Oh.” Lisbon could see it now. This day wasn’t about avoiding letting her come close to him, it wasn’t about him rejecting her advances. She had been so selfish, thinking just about what she wanted, her own pleasure, that it hadn’t occurred to her just how important this was to Jane, how big a step away from his past he was taking. He wanted to take things slowly, savor them, memorize them because he hadn’t been able to do these things freely for years; he had been trapped in a prison of guilt and regret and self-loathing, of shame and bitterness. Of course, he was prepared to give her everything she wanted, he had said so himself, but he would need time. He would need time to get used to this again; after all, he had thought for years he would never get to fall in love again without constantly having to watch his back. He had thought his life would end hunting down the serial killer who had killed his wife and daughter.

Lisbon’s heart, which had been light with happiness all day, was suddenly weighed down by an indescribable feeling of sadness; it was aching for the life Jane had lost, for the pain he had gone through, for the things he had longed for but had denied himself. She wished she could take it all away, make him feel better, show him how much he was loved and cared for, that he would never have to go through such a heavy loss again, that from now on she would be there by his side, no matter what happened. But she couldn’t find the words to say it, she could only stare at him, at his blue eyes that had seen so much pain and suffering, at his lips that had spoken so many words full of self-hatred over the years, at his chest that protected a heart he had closed off to the world for more than a decade.

“I –,” she started, desperate to say something, anything, even though she had no idea what to say to him. There were no words for what she was feeling, except one she wasn’t yet prepared to give voice to.

Jane blinked slowly, then smiled. “It’s fine,” he said. “I know.”

“No, you don’t,” Lisbon contradicted him, wishing she had a way with words, wishing she was one of those people who could so easily talk about their feelings.

“Teresa, it’s fine,” Jane assured her. “You don’t have to say anything.”

Lisbon pressed her lips together and nodded. She could feel tears prick at the corner of her eyes, and she hated herself for it. He should be the one crying, not she. She swallowed hard, refusing to burst into tears in the middle of a dead writer’s Florida home. Jane, sensing her distress, pulled her close.

“I should –,” Lisbon started again, meaning to tell him she should be the one comforting him, not the other way around.

But Jane didn’t let her finish the thought. Instead, he kissed her nose, then the corner of her mouth, then her bottom lip, until she relaxed in his arms and returned the kiss, her right hand covering the spot on his chest where his heart was beating with a steady, strong pace. She didn’t care that they were in public, that they were making out in one of Key West’s “top 10 sights you shouldn’t miss”, that people were glaring because they were in the way. This wasn’t about love confessions or cheesy one-liners or even just words in general; they had never needed those anyway to be able to understand each other. Jane was right: He did know without her having to say anything. And she might not be good with words, but she would find other ways to comfort him, to show him how important he was to her. She would give him the time he needed to get used to being in love again, and in return he would give her the time she needed to find the right words to say to him. Until then, kisses and touches and breathy, encouraging gasps and moans would be enough.

Once they were outside again, strolling through the garden arm in arm, Lisbon had calmed down. The sky had darkened, and it was unbearably hot; the air was buzzing with electricity and there was the sound of thunder in the distance, still a low rumbling, but getting closer with each passing minute. Lisbon glanced at the sky in concern, her worries about Jane momentarily forgotten.

“We should try to get home before the storm breaks loose,” she pointed out.

“Hm,” Jane agreed, his thoughts clearly occupied with something else.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Lisbon said softly.

“I was just thinking how you probably haven’t read a single one of Ernest Hemingway’s books.” Jane was eyeing the gift shop.

“And I’m planning on keeping it that way,” Lisbon informed him.

“I’m gonna pick a good one, I promise.”

Lisbon didn’t even try to hold him back. Why should she? He wanted to get her a gift – it was a romantic gesture, even though she had no intention of ever actually reading whatever he bought for her. While she waited for him, she felt the first drops of rain against her skin, but the water didn’t bring any relief. If anything, the air was growing hotter still and everything from her dress to her hair was sticking to her body. The air was so humid that it felt like standing in the bathroom right after a long, hot shower. Then the sky was split by lightning, followed by a loud bang right after, and then the rain started coming down from above in a torrential downpour. People around her were trying to find cover, running around, their arms clasped over their heads, shouting for their spouses and children to hurry up and follow them. But before Lisbon could start running too, Jane was by her side, a small paper bag under his arm, and he took her hand and rushed her out of the garden and along the street back to their house.

Soon, Lisbon had to stop and take off her shoes; they were soaked through with rainwater and every step felt like plunging her feet into a puddle. She knew she looked like she had just stepped out of the shower, but so did Jane. His hair was clinging to his head, his shirt was clinging to his chest, and he blinked repeatedly to keep the water out of his eyes. But he didn’t look impatient or urged her to go on; instead, he was beaming at her, as if being trapped in a tropical storm was the most fun he’d ever had.

Even with the brief stop it took them no more than five minutes to get back home, but those five minutes were enough to soak them. Lisbon was sure there wasn’t a dry spot left on her body when they finally found refuge on the porch of their house. While she was rummaging through her small bag, looking for the keys, Jane stepped behind her, slung his arms around her, and began to kiss her neck and shoulders, rainwater dripping from his hair down her back. Her hands were shaking when she tried to push the key into the lock, but before she could finish the task, Jane whirled her around and pressed her against the door, trapping her body with his. Lisbon felt the air being knocked out of her lungs, first by Jane pressing up close to her, then by his mouth on hers, his lips hot, demanding, hungry. It was overwhelming, the storm raging around them and inside of her, his taste and smell engulfing her completely, the air static and charged. Lisbon had never been kissed like this before, all-consuming and yet leaving her hungry for more. His tongue, which had so often driven her crazy with its antics, was now driving her crazy with its caresses, his hands she loved so much were trailing paths across her arms and stomach, setting her on fire. All she could think of was how alike the storm was to Patrick Jane: Both had caught her by surprise, and both were forces of nature she had underestimated. His mouth left hers to bite the skin on her neck, on her shoulders, and when another clap of thunder drowned out all other sounds around them, she felt a low, carnal growl deep inside of Jane’s chest, and she knew he was about to keep the promise he had made this morning.

Somehow, Jane managed to unlock the door while caressing Lisbon’s body with eager touches and kisses, and then they were inside the house, dripping water all over the marble floor, the gift Jane had gotten her lying forgotten on the cold, hard stones. Finally, Jane pulled away and held her at arm’s length, looking at her as if he was seeing her for the first time. Then a mischievous smile took over his features and Lisbon had to swallow involuntarily.

“What would you say if I told you we should shower first?” he asked.

Lisbon shook her head slowly, then began to unbutton Jane’s shirt, covering every bit of newly exposed skin with kisses. The rain had soaked through the fabric and Jane’s chest was damp to the touch, radiating heat. Still, Lisbon was proud to discover her kisses left goosebumps in their wake. Although the way he breathed in every time another button came undone, his ribcage expanding impossibly wide, should have been a strong indicator he was enjoying this.

“I wouldn’t mind a shower,” Lisbon answered finally when she was satisfied with her work, “but only if you join me.”

Jane laughed breathlessly. “It’s a tempting offer,” he said slowly, bending down so he could caress her neck with open-mouthed kisses, “but I have other plans.”

As another ear-shattering roll of thunder made the front door vibrate in its hinges, Jane led Lisbon deeper into the house, past doors she hadn’t even had time to open yet, until they were back in the living room where they had almost shared their first kiss. The lighting was dim, too dark to make out any details, and Lisbon was thankful for that because she did feel bashful about Jane seeing her flushed cheeks, about him being able to read on her features what his words and touches were doing to her. But it was Jane, after all, he didn’t need light to see the state she was in, and he also wouldn’t make fun of her for it.

He led her to the couch and sat down, then pulled her on top of him until she was on his lap. They didn’t care that their bodies left wet imprints on the cushions. He kissed her slowly, almost meekly, and within seconds they were sticking together because the air in the room was so humid and hot that it felt solid. Lisbon felt light-headed within seconds, but she wasn’t sure if she shouldn’t be blaming Jane for this and not the weather. He had slowed down, but even his slow, languid kisses where driving her crazy, maybe even more so than his demanding ones. She was glad she’d had the idea to unbutton his shirt because she needed to touch him wherever she could reach, needed to feel his skin beneath her fingers, needed to feel his quick heartbeat. Even though she was eager to do more, see more, feel more, she held back, determined to enjoy this, to stay in the moment with Jane, until it was all too much, the heat, the caresses, their mingled breaths carrying promises and assurances.

Lisbon had always known Jane would be good at this, he had to be, but when he had been so careful with her the previous evening and when he had rejected her advances this morning, it had made her feel insecure. He was making up for it now with a deep kiss that left her breathless and a mumbled confession of, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to see you come undone like this,” which made her whimper, actually whimper, followed by a trail of kisses along her jaw and down her neck. It was already too much, but then she suddenly felt the soft touch of his hand on her naked leg, slowly but steadily making its way upward from her knee. She gasped; there was no doubt about its destination and Lisbon shifted around, so it would be easier for Jane to get past the hem of her dress.

Jane stopped, his hand halfway up her thigh, and kissed her again, digging his nails into her skin, leaving tiny dents. She knew he was trying to move slowly, to draw this out, and she couldn’t blame him, but she also knew she wouldn’t last very long if he continued like this. She had sometimes imagined what it would be like to have sex with Patrick Jane, mostly when she had been drunk or alone or both, but she had never expected it to be like this; not in her wildest dreams had she imagined he would be able to do this to her with some kisses and a calculatedly placed hand. And they weren’t even really having sex yet. No other man had ever made her feel like this, which was an observation she was determined to keep to herself because it would only earn her a _very_ smug look from Jane. Then again, chances were he already knew anyway.

Jane stopped kissing her and straightened his back, so he could look at her, and she did her best to keep her eyes open, but when he finally moved his hand again, her eyelids fluttered shut. She wanted to see him, see his face when he finally touched her, curious what he would look like, what it would do to him, to both of them, but she wasn’t strong enough.

Then Jane’s hand was gone, and Lisbon felt disoriented. She had no idea what had happened, why he had stopped, until she heard it too – the doorbell, ringing with so much urgency that it drowned out the sounds of the storm. Jane was already buttoning up his shirt and Lisbon jumped up, desperately trying to straighten her dress and her hair. They weren’t expecting anyone, she had no idea who it could be, but she guessed it had to be Kris. Only, it didn’t make any sense for her to visit them in the middle of a raging storm; there was no emergency urgent enough to warrant this.

* * *

Pike looked miserable, drenched from head to toe, his tie undone, his shoes squeaking with every step he took. Jane couldn’t help but feel glee at his obvious rumpled state. And he also felt angry, furious even, at the interruption. He had been so close, after a day of trying to work up the courage to let himself be close to Lisbon in a way he had never been close to her, and then Pike had interrupted them. Pike! Of all the people who could have been ringing the doorbell, it had to have been him.

Lisbon was fuming. “What are you doing here?” she asked, fixing her dress, not caring that Pike would be able to guess exactly what they had been doing if he had just one ounce of observational skills in him.

“I need to speak to Jane,” Pike answered, catching them both by surprise.

“To Jane?” Lisbon echoed, and she sounded so offended Jane had to stifle a laugh.

“Yes. Can I come in?”

Despite himself, Jane had to admire Pike. He had worked up the courage to come and see them, which couldn’t have been easy for him, he had braved the elements during a raging thunderstorm, and he insisted on saying whatever it was he had come to tell them, even though Lisbon was looking daggers at him. So he opened the door wider and let Pike inside, ignoring Lisbon’s gaze, which now had found a new victim. Jane just shrugged as a reply.

Pike was avoiding looking at Lisbon, was avoiding looking at either of them. Instead, his gaze wandered around the hall as he asked, “Where can we talk in private?”

Jane put a hand on Lisbon’s shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly, telling her with this small touch that it would be all right. He could handle Pike and whatever he had to say to him. The jealousy Jane had felt the last time he had come face to face with Lisbon’s boyfriend – _ex_ -boyfriend – had already turned into indifference. Pike couldn’t hurt him anymore, so there really was no harm in hearing him out.

He leaned down and whispered into Lisbon’s ear, “This won’t take long,” then he walked past Pike and opened the door to the small living room they never used. He held the door open for Pike and invited him inside with a steady, “Please.”

Pike stepped through the door and Jane closed it, throwing Lisbon another reassuring glance in the process. He could tell she hated this, but Jane was secretly glad Pike wanted to talk to him and not to her. “Can I get you something to drink?” he asked.

“This won’t take long,” Pike replied.

“Just trying to be polite,” Jane mumbled.

Pike huffed and raised his eyebrows. It was obvious he had come here for a fight and Jane wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. He would remain calm and not let himself be provoked, until Pike had to see his endeavor was futile. Jane sat down on the long couch that was taking up almost half the room and indicated an armchair opposite it. Pike followed the invitation, which was a start.

“You do realize that you’re jeopardizing the case by coming here,” Jane told him, looking directly at Pike, not even trying to keep the disdain he felt for him from taking over his features.

Pike looked at him, confused and baffled. He hadn’t expected Jane to start with this, that much was obvious, and Jane felt smug at having managed to catch him off-guard. “How do you mean?” Pike asked.

“Well, you look like an FBI agent, it’s almost too obvious,” Jane answered. “If our targets have us under surveillance, they will get suspicious.”

Pike shook his head. “I don’t think anyone has you under surveillance. Or have you noticed anything?”

Jane knew the chances of them actually being under surveillance were slim, but he wanted to make Pike feel stupid for coming here. “Just because we haven’t noticed anything doesn’t mean they’re not doing it. It just means they’re very good.”

“Huh,” Pike made.

“Also, while we’re on the subject,” Jane continued, “taking Lisbon out to lunch the other day was risky.”

Pike huffed again. For someone who had interrupted one of the most important moments of Jane’s life because he wanted to talk, he kept awfully quiet.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Jane asked innocently.

“Do I really need to say it?” was Pike’s answer.

“Well, you came here to say _something_ , so out with it.”

There was a short pause, as if they were playing a game of chess and Pike was taking his time, contemplating his next move. In the end, he decided against using his knight and moved another pawn.

“I think there’s something you should say to me.”

“Like what?”

“If you need me to tell you, then you’re not as observant as everyone makes you out to be.”

Pike was trying to insult him, but it wasn’t working. Jane was confident enough in his abilities to not let himself be rattled by an off-hand comment from a man he hardly knew. “Listen, I have no idea what you want from me,” he told Pike calmly, “so either you say what’s on your mind or you leave.”

This, finally, got Pike talking. “I know you came up with this ridiculous plan so you could get closer to Teresa,” he answered. “I tried talking her out of it, and she assured me I had nothing to worry about. She always insisted you were just friends. And I tried to trust her, I really did, I put a lot of effort into this relationship, I wanted it to work. But yesterday, she broke up with me. Because of you. All I want is an explanation.”

“Because of me?” Jane repeated, then scoffed. “I doubt that.”

“It’s what she told me.”

Jane believed him. And instead of feeling angry with Lisbon for using him as an excuse to end things with her boyfriend, he felt proud. “I didn’t force her to break up with you, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“No,” Pike agreed, “you _charmed_ her to break up with me.”

Jane couldn’t help it, he had to snort at the ridiculousness of this sentence. “I did what?”

Pike’s face was serious. He actually believed what he was saying, and Jane couldn’t tell if that made the whole situation even more bizarre or if he should start taking this seriously.

“It only took her a week to fall in love with you,” Pike continued, “and to throw her relationship with me away. And it’s because of you. You came here with the intention of seducing her because you know you wouldn’t stand a chance in direct competition with me. But I say you had your chance for many years and you never took it, so you really don’t have the right to ruin Teresa’s life, now that she’s finally in a healthy relationship.”

It was a lot to process. Jane didn’t think it was surprising Pike would think like this. And, somehow, he had voiced some of the doubts that had crossed Jane’s mind. He, too, had wondered if he was ruining Lisbon’s life, just as he had wondered if Pike wasn’t the better man for her after all.

“It sounds like you should be talking to Lisbon about this, not me,” Jane said carefully.

“I tried talking to her,” Pike agreed, “but she won’t see reason, so I’m talking to you.”

“And what do you want to hear from me?”

“An apology would be a good start,” Pike answered almost casually.

“An apology?” Jane echoed in disbelief.

“And maybe you could talk some sense into her, since she refuses to listen to me,” Pike added.

Jane had to laugh out loud at hearing that. “I’m sorry, what?”

Pike opened his mouth to explain himself, but it had been a rhetorical question, so Jane interrupted him before he could get the first word out. “You really don’t know her at all, do you? ‘Talk some sense into her’.” He had to laugh again. “She’s not your daughter, she’s a grown woman who decided to dump you. And it sounds to me like you had a discussion about it and she gave you a reason for her decision, so I don’t understand what you want me to do about it.”

“I know it’s not too late,” Pike insisted. “I know she’s just confused. So if you don’t want to talk to her, I’m still going to ask you to back down.”

“No,” Jane said simply.

“No?” Pike repeated in disbelief, a slightly threatening tone to his voice.

“No.” He punctuated it by crossing his arms in front of his chest. “What were you expecting?”

“A little respect,” Pike answered. “I trusted you.”

There was only one word with which Jane would have been able to express the confusion he was feeling, but he rarely swore, so he kept it to himself. “What do you mean, you trusted me?”

“I was sure you would respect Teresa was in a serious relationship,” Pike explained, “and not make a move on her. But I guess I was mistaken.”

“Okay, let me get this straight,” Jane said slowly, trying to wrap his head around this new information. “You don’t trust your girlfriends, but you trust men you barely know. Huh, interesting.”

“Don’t use that condescending tone with me!” Pike shouted, his voice all of a sudden raised.

Jane, however, was used to people shouting at him, so he didn’t even bat an eye. “I honestly have no clue why we’re having this conversation,” he said, trying to show Pike with his calm demeanor just how unreasonable he was behaving. “Is this some guy thing? Do you expect men to leave your girlfriends alone because of some ancient societal rule that says women are the property of men?”

“That’s not what I –,” Pike started to defend himself in a meek voice, all his anger suddenly evaporating.

“It’s exactly what you were saying,” Jane interrupted him. “You have this notion that I shouldn’t, I don’t know, _seduce_ Lisbon because I have to respect you as a guy. Has it ever occurred to you that Lisbon is allowed to have a say in this matter? That she might have her own thoughts and feelings, independently of what either of us want?”

Pike clenched his jaw. “She wouldn’t have left me if you hadn’t planted this idea in her head that she might have a shot with you.”

“This isn’t high school,” Jane reminded him.

“We were happy until you wanted her to pretend to be your girlfriend.”

“No,” Jane said again. He couldn’t believe Pike could be so blind, considering he was rather a good FBI agent.

Like before, Pike repeated, “No?”

Jane sighed. It felt like talking a small child out of keeping the stray cat he had found. “Listen, Pike, I’ve spent most of my life manipulating people. I know what people think, how they feel, I know their deepest, darkest desires. And I also know that if someone is happy in a relationship, really, truly happy, they don’t change their mind just because a guy pays them a compliment once or twice.” Then he added, to annoy Pike and to get a rise out of him, “Even if he's a good-looking guy like me.”

“So you’re saying this is my fault?” Pike tried to clarify.

It really was like talking to a child who insisted the world was divided into good and evil. “It’s not anybody’s fault,” Jane sighed. “But if it makes you happy, then yes, this is your fault. You were obviously never interested in Lisbon as a person. You had this idea of her in your head, and you tried to mold her into someone she wasn’t. Of course she broke up with you! Who wouldn’t have?” Pike flinched at hearing this. “You’re looking for a woman who’s boring and docile, a woman you can spoil, but not because you want to make her smile but because you want her to admire you, to look up to you. And Lisbon will never be that woman, no matter how much time and money you invest into making her like this.”

“At least I have something to offer her,” Pike said, his voice very quiet, almost inaudible. Jane had to resist the urge to lean forward so he could hear him better.

“Like what?” he wanted to know. “She’s allowed to cook you dinner and wash your socks while you get her an expensive gift once in a while and make sure you don’t bring your affairs back home, out of respect for her?”

“I would never cheat on her, if that’s what you’re implying,” Pike insisted.

“I’m not implying anything; I’m telling you, in the clearest and most straightforward way possible, that you’re not the great catch you think you are.”

“Oh?” Pike made. It sounded like a challenge. “And you are?”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “At least I know where my limitations are.”

“You two deserve each other,” Pike spat with so much disdain it was palpable.

Jane decided to pour a bit more gasoline into the fire he had kindled. “Because we respect each other?”

Pike stood up and started pacing up and down the living room. “You both think you’re so much better than everybody else. I mean, I knew _you_ would think like this, but Teresa is the same. She made it sound as if she was doing me a favor by being with me.”

“Again, I’m not the person you should be telling this to,” Jane pointed out, watching Pike’s movements carefully.

“What do you expect me to do then?” He sounded as frustrated as Jane felt. “I refuse to let her go, and you’re the main reason why she doesn’t want to be with me. So I’m asking you nicely, one last time, to stop getting in our way.”

Jane stood up as well, so they were the same height. But as opposed to Pike, he just stood there, his body in a relaxed posture, trying to do the opposite of what Pike was doing. Then he said very calmly, “I’m not in your way. If Lisbon wants to be with you, I’m not stopping her.”

Pike looked taken aback. “You wouldn’t fight for her?”

It was the first time Jane could feel his resolve wane. Of course, he would fight for Lisbon; he would fight anyone who was threatening her or harming her or making her unhappy. This also meant fighting himself if he was the reason for her sorrow. If it came down to a decision between him and Pike, then yes, he would fight for Lisbon. But Pike didn’t need to know that because it would only mean he would push Jane even more, which was something Jane wanted to avoid.

“I want her to be happy,” Jane finally said.

Pike stopped pacing. “You are a manipulative, cold-hearted bastard.”

Jane put up his walls again, hiding his conflicting feelings behind them, so Pike wouldn’t have anything to use against him. “Thanks for the compliment.”

“This is all a game to you, isn’t it?” Pike started moving again, faster than before. “You’re going to have your fun with her for a couple of weeks, and after that you’re just going to drop her.”

Jane felt a pang of red, hot anger in the pit of his stomach, but he forced himself to keep calm. “Don’t assume you know anything about me.”

“You’re not as mysterious as you’d like to think. It’s obvious you manipulate people and use them for your own gain. Why should it be any different with Teresa?”

Again, Pike had managed to hit a sore spot without realizing it. Even though he and Lisbon had talked, he was still scared she would have similar doubts. And he was terrified of the possibility that he might change his mind in a couple of weeks. There was practically no chance of it happening, but what if he realized Lisbon wasn’t the woman he wanted to be with after all, and what if he broke her heart?

“I think it’s best you leave now,” Jane said in a tone of voice that left no room for debate.

For a second time, Pike stopped and looked at Jane thoughtfully, as if he was contemplating how he could hurt him the most. “Don’t think I’ll be there to pick up the pieces once you’re done with her,” was what he settled on.

Jane decided it wasn’t even worth replying to. He walked to the door and opened it.

Pike didn’t move. “I love her, you know.”

“That’s your problem, not mine.” Jane nodded at the open door, signaling Pike he wanted him to leave.

“I would do anything for her,” Pike went on.

Jane sighed and let go of the handle, which resulted in the door flying shut with force because of a draft. The storm was still raging on outside, but the bang was loud enough to echo through the house. “You would do anything for _you_ ,” Jane corrected Pike.

“You don’t know me.”

“And you don’t know Lisbon.”

“I guess you’re right,” Pike agreed. “I had thought she would never cheat on me. That was a mistake.”

Jane could take whatever insults Pike decided to throw at him, but he drew the line at Pike talking badly about Lisbon. “She didn’t cheat on you,” he defended her.

Pike laughed coldly, a short, sinister bark. “Both of you can stop lying to me, I’m not as stupid as you think.”

Jane stepped closer to Pike until they were almost touching. He knew he shouldn’t let himself be provoked like this, he had been trying very hard to fight it, but Pike had finally found his sore spot. Squaring his shoulders, Jane said in a low, threatening tone of voice. “Listen to me carefully. What happened to you also happened to billions of other men. You’re not special. You don’t get to expect anything from a woman who clearly doesn’t want to be with you. Teresa Lisbon is the best, kindest, most caring person I know. She beat herself up for days because she didn’t want to hurt you, she blamed herself for making you unhappy, she was prepared to spend her life with you, even though you don’t deserve her.”

There it was again, that short, cold laugh. “She’s a lying, cheating, manipulative bitch.”

Jane despised violence, he was the first one to take cover when he saw raised fists or heard loud voices. But he wouldn’t stand by and listen to Pike insult Lisbon like this. He was fully prepared to cause the other man pain, but before he could go through with it, Pike, who had received extensive FBI training and could spot any threat a mile off, had landed a punch on Jane’s nose, followed by another one to his stomach. It happened so fast Jane didn’t even have time to raise his arms to shield himself. He felt wet, hot blood spurting out of his nose, and he leaned forward to catch his breath, trying to breathe through the pain in his stomach. But before Pike could do any more harm, the door burst open and Lisbon was at Jane’s side, a hand on his back, glaring at Pike.

“You need to leave,” she said.

Jane gasped for air, then pinched his nose between his thumb and index finger to stop the bleeding.

“And if I ever see you again, you’ll regret it,” Lisbon added. She sounded furious, and Jane was glad he wasn’t at the receiving end of her anger.

For a moment, Jane thought Pike would refuse to leave; he glared at them both and didn’t move, but Lisbon looked terrifying, her hair still tousled from the storm, a wild look on her face, and finally Pike shied away and walked out.

* * *

They were in the kitchen again. The storm was weakening, but it was still pouring, and there were no other sounds beside the raindrops against the windows and their breathing. Lisbon was carefully unbuttoning Jane’s shirt to be able to assess the damage Pike’s punch had done, while Jane was pressing a tissue, which was soaking through fast, to his nose.

“What did you say to him?” Lisbon asked softly, while carefully pressing two fingers against Jane’s ribcage to see if anything was broken.

Jane flinched at her touch. “Nothing,” he insisted. “It’s about what he said.”

“And what was that?” Lisbon asked, not because she was particularly interested in the answer, but because she wanted to keep Jane talking.

Jane didn’t reply; instead, he inhaled sharply when Lisbon touched his rips again.

“It’s going to hurt for a couple of days,” she informed him, “but I don’t think anything's broken.”

Her anger at having found Pike punching Jane had faded away; it had been replaced with concern for Jane. Pike wouldn’t bother them again, she was sure of it, and she also didn’t want to know what he and Jane had discussed. All she wanted was to make sure Jane was all right.

“Now, let’s look at your nose,” she went on, carefully peeling Jane’s hand away from his face. Jane flinched again.

It looked bad; there was blood everywhere: on his cheek, his lips, even on his chin. But it wasn’t the first time someone had punched Jane, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Jane’s nose was used to a rough treatment and it looked as if he had been lucky once again because the nose was still straight and not particularly swollen.

“I’m going to get something to clean you up with,” Lisbon mumbled.

She stood up and walked to the kitchen sink, where she moistened some tissues. Then she leaned over Jane and carefully started to wipe his face clean. There was still some blood coming out of his nose, but it was getting less and less and would stop soon. He let her clean his chin and cheek without any complaint, but as soon as she touched his nose, he flinched again and grabbed her wrist to stop her.

“It hurts,” he complained.

“Of course it does,” Lisbon answered. “Just clench your teeth and it’ll be over in a second.”

He did as he was told, but he also held his breath, steeling himself against her touches.

“There,” Lisbon said after seconds filled with silence, “all better.”

“Thanks,” Jane mumbled.

“You’re lucky,” Lisbon said with a sigh and let herself drop into a chair next to Jane’s. “We could be in the hospital right now.”

Jane shrugged. “He insulted you.”

Lisbon shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, Jane, he’s not a part of our lives anymore.” Despite the ridiculousness of the situation, and her resolution to keep Jane from doing stuff like this in the future, she also felt flattered he would overcome his fear of conflict for her and defend her, even if it meant getting punched. “Please be careful in future,” she added. “I don’t want you to get into any trouble because of me.”

“It’s nothing,” Jane said with a dismissive wave of his hand but groaned when the bruise on his rips made its presence felt.

“Jane,” Lisbon said softly, making him look up.

She was suddenly overcome by the realization that she loved him so much, it was unbearable to see him hurt like this, even if it was only superficial bruising. The three words she had been tossing around in her head all day were on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t yet say them; she could only show him how much he meant to her, which would have to be enough for the time being.

Lisbon took his hand into hers, the weight of it comfortable like an anchor, making sure she wouldn’t drift away from him ever again. She blinked once, twice, and took a deep breath. He squeezed her hand reassuringly, waiting for her to be ready to say what she needed him to hear.

“Come to bed with me,” she whispered.

* * *

**01/22/21: Update**

I keep getting a lot of messages from people who want me to continue writing this fic, and I see you and I appreciate each and everyone of you and that my fic brings you so much joy that you don't just give up on it even though I haven't updated it in months. That being said I'm not sure if I can/will ever continue writing this fic, mostly because I received some rude messages in the past that were trying to pressure me to continue it when those people felt like I wasn’t updating it fast enough. I also talked to some people who told me they were disappointed in me when I stopped writing which probably wasn't done out of malicious intent but just added to the pressure. So yeah, all of this contributed to my current writer's block that I somehow can't get over. I know it's not just other people, it's also my fault for kinda losing interest in the Mentalist for the time being and moving on to other fandoms.

The bottom line is that I feel like whatever I would write next wouldn't live up to everyone's expectations and my heart just isn't in it anymore, so it also wouldn't have the quality I've come to expect from my writing. I'm very sorry about that, I might post the unfinished Chapter 11 if that's something people are interested in, but I don't feel comfortable continuing this fic at the moment. Again, thank you guys so so much for reading it and enjoying it! I'm sorry I don't have anything better to offer you and that I let those messages and conversations get to me like that but I feel like I need to take a step back right now and find a healthy way to cope with my writer's block and to get back into writing.

You can always find me on tumblr though (javier-pena) if you want to talk and I'll leave this fic up, of course!


	11. Teresa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before she could complain and tell him what she wanted, he sat up, bringing them closer together and making her heartbeat flutter. “You always take care of me,” he mumbled, then pressed a kiss to each knuckle of her left hand. “Let me take care of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so let me be honest with you all. This chapter is unfinished, it's the last 4,000 words I wrote for this fic a few months back. I cannot see myself finishing this story, so I thought I would at least upload what I've already written. 
> 
> First, though, I wanted to thank you all for sticking with this fic for so long and I know this ending isn't what I (and you) had in mind. I will always remember writing this fic for all of you fondly, updating it definitely was one of the best memories I’m going to have of 2020. I've never written a story before that so many people enjoyed and I'm very grateful for all the love and support it received.
> 
> I haven't been able to write anything for months, however, and that's mostly due to me beating myself up for not finishing this. I want to move on to other things and other writing projects, so that's the reason why I decided to make peace with this fic and give you one final update, even if it's unfinished.
> 
> Again, I am beyond grateful to everyone who stuck with it for so long. I love each and everyone of you!! Thank you so much for reading and commenting and encouraging me to become a better writer. Writing this fic and receiving your feedback on it helped me improve so much and become more confident in the things I'm creating and I hope that this short chapter will serve as a kind of peace offering because the last thing I wanted was to upset anyone with the lack of updates. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm rambling. I hope you guys enjoy finding out what happened after Lisbon asked Jane to come to bed with her.

Jane squeezed her hand again, then smiled softly, a smile that carried so much meaning she knew she didn’t have to use any words to make herself understood. He nodded.

Lisbon stood up and he followed, not letting go of her. The rain was still pattering against the French doors, the wind was still whipping through the trees behind the pool, but the thunder was only a distant rumbling now, like the memories of the events that had brought them to this point were barely present anymore. Lisbon led Jane up the stairs, like she had done only three days before when he had been too drunk to walk. Now he was following her without complaint, without missing a step, without Lisbon having to tell him to tread carefully.

Three days ago, they had gone to Jane’s bedroom. Without thinking about it, Lisbon picked her own this time. She wanted to be on familiar ground for this, so she would be able to give Jane her full attention. Again, Jane didn’t dispute her decision. They seemed to have come to an understanding that this was their shared bedroom for the time they had left in Key West. Lisbon made Jane lie down on the bed on his back, a position she knew would cause him the least amount of pain; then she lay down next to him, on her side, facing him, one arm slung across his chest. Jane turned his head to the side, so he could look at her, but neither of them felt the need to talk. They were just breathing, listening to the rain, enjoying each other’s company in silence.

There wasn’t much left to be said.

The patter of rain against the windows of Lisbon’s room was a soothing sound. She loved the rain, and she loved falling asleep listening to it, curled up beneath a warm blanket. It reminded her of a simpler time, of summers spent on her grandmother’s farm, of long car rides and cheap, sweet ice cream. She never had trouble sleeping when it was raining.

But sleep was the last thing on her mind right now. The first thing was Jane’s wellbeing.

She couldn’t stop looking at him, at his sun-tanned face, his neck, his inquisitive eyes that had hid so much from her in the past but were now an open book. Not once did he look away, and it would have made her uncomfortable under different circumstances, would have made her snap at him, but this was different. He wasn’t challenging her, pushing her, shutting her out. He was letting her in, showing her how much she meant to him with just a single gaze. And she thought about how she felt about him, allowed herself to feel the emotions, embrace them, and their power took her breath away.

She loved him; she was sure of it. Had loved him for years, since before she had met Pike, before Jane had come back from the island, even before he had killed Red John and left her. Only, she had never dared to put a name to this feeling before, afraid it would push him away, afraid it would change too much between them. After all, wasn’t it better to go on as before but still have each other, than try to make something work that could never be and lose everything in the process? And she had been right, to some extent: Everything had changed, and yet they were still the same, they were still Jane and Lisbon, Patrick and Teresa.

Despite everything, despite Jane’s injuries, despite the exhausting day, despite this being new and unpredictable, a feeling stirred in Lisbon, one she had been trying to control for the last day, ever since Jane had kissed her on the boat. She wanted him, well and truly _wanted_ him, and it went beyond having fun and finding release. She wanted to show him how much he meant to her, since she couldn’t put it into words yet. She wanted to make him feel good, to show him he could trust her, to get to know a side of him she didn’t know yet. She wanted him to lose himself in her touches and kisses, to whisper her name hotly against her mouth, to let go. But she couldn’t do any of this now because he was hurt and it would be painful for him, no matter how much he might enjoy it. No, she needed to wait for a few more days before the pain in his side had lessened.

“You’re allowed to breathe, you know,” Jane said after a while. “It won’t hurt me.”

It was the first time he had spoken since she had tried to patch him up in the kitchen. His voice was softer than she had remembered. And had she really forgotten what it sounded like in those fifteen minutes since he had spoken last?

She took a deep breath that turned into a light laugh. “Sorry, I was thinking.”

His eyes were full of warmth, like she had never seen them before. “What were you thinking about?” he asked curiously.

“Guess,” Lisbon said, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“Easy,” he said with a smug little laugh and turned his head to look at the ceiling. “You were thinking about kissing me.”

“And what makes you say that?” Lisbon teased, eager to hear how he had come to that conclusion. She moved closer to him and pressed the entire length of her body against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Because I’ve been thinking the same,” he answered, and it sounded so smug Lisbon had to laugh.

“Well, what a lucky coincidence,” she said, catching her breath.

His lips were soft and warm, but they tasted like iron. She kissed him slowly at first, brushing her lips against his, making sure she wasn’t touching him anywhere it could hurt him. But Jane wanted more, and he soon urged her on with small bites that elicited quiet gasps from her. Only this morning, she had wanted him to be like this, had needed him to be like this, had needed him to leave no room for doubt about what he wanted the kisses to turn into. But now she wasn’t so sure anymore. Now it was she who wanted to take things slowly, who didn’t want to cause Jane any more pain by not being able to hold back. Because if he continued to kiss her like this, leaving a tingling sensation everywhere his lips touched her, she wouldn’t be able to restrain herself, despite knowing he was injured.

But then Jane’s hand was in her hair, pulling her close, and he was all teeth and tongue, and she couldn’t hold back anymore. She pushed herself up and straddled him again, a habit she was quickly getting used to, then leaned down and kissed him, while his hands were tangled in her hair, keeping it out of her face, but also holding her in place with a firm grip, signaling her that this was all right, that this was exactly what he wanted.

“Teresa,” he mumbled, breaking the kiss, pressing his mouth against her cheek, her jaw, her neck, her throat, anywhere he could reach. “Teresa,” he said, again and again, and it sounded like a mantra, and her own name sounded so foreign to her ears she stopped associating it with herself and came to accept it as a caress, a term of endearment. He didn’t need to call her _honey_ or _babe_ or _sweetheart_. _Teresa_ was enough.

She returned his kisses, brushed her lips against his prickly jaw, against the hollow of his throat, and then down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt once more along the way. She knew she should feel frustrated having to do it again, but she enjoyed it even more now because she could cherish it. Despite everything, despite his kisses and caresses, despite his hands still being tangled in her hair, despite how every time he touched her skin she felt like she would explode, she was more in control of herself than she had been in the hallway after he had pressed her against their front door and kissed her senseless. _Their_ front door … there really wouldn’t be any _his_ and _hers_ in future, just _theirs_. _and_ a

The wind was dying down and the thunder was only a distant rumbling now, and she could hear Jane panting, could hear him _moaning_ from time to time, sounds she had missed the first time, and she immediately was addicted to hearing them. It was impossible to control her own breathing, her heartbeat, her hands that were eagerly exploring every newly exposed spot on his chest, her lips that were following her hands, claiming him all over again. She would never tire of this, no matter how many times they would be with each other this way.

By the time she was done unbuttoning Jane’s shirt, her hands were trembling, but she was determined to continue. Before she could finish unbuckling his belt, he grabbed her wrists, making her groan in frustration and irritation. She was eager to push on, to finally see this through. She couldn’t let him stop her again, she was too wound up, too on edge for that.

Before she could complain and tell him what she wanted, he sat up, bringing them closer together and making her heartbeat flutter. “You always take care of me,” he mumbled, then pressed a kiss to each knuckle of her left hand. “Let me take care of you.”

Lisbon nodded, a shiver running down her spine, her resolutions forgotten at this promise. He continued kissing the back of her hand and then made his way up her arm, never breaking eye contact. It was obvious he wanted to draw this out, wanted to make this last as long as possible without them going insane with longing, and it was so different to every other time she had been with a man that she needed to tell him; she needed him to know.

“Jane,” she said softly, barely disguising a moan as he kissed along her collarbone. When he didn’t stop, she added, “Patrick,” insistently.

That made him pause. “Is everything all right?” he asked, drawing back, but not letting go of her hand.

“I need to tell you something,” she said, drawing in a deep breath.

“No, you don’t,” he interrupted her, squeezing her hand softly. “I know.”

“How could he possibly know?” He couldn’t, despite his ability to read people, despite knowing her better than he knew anyone else on this planet. He couldn’t, not without her saying the words.

He cupped her cheek. “You don’t need to tell me anything. I know how difficult this is for you. For the both of us. Just don’t think for a while, okay? And no more talking.”

No, that wasn’t it. It wasn’t difficult for her, not at all. It was the easiest thing she had ever done in her life.

“Jane,” she protested, but he shut her up with a deep kiss and when they broke apart, she realized he had opened the zipper at the back of her dress without her noticing.

He smirked proudly and she shook her head lovingly and kissed him back, sucking at his bottom lip, which made him gasp in surprise. To distract her and regain control of the situation, he pulled away and unhooked her bra while locking his eyes to hers. Through her arousal, Lisbon could feel an undercurrent of nervousness, and she knew she had no reason to feel this way. This was Jane, she could trust him. But she had expected their first time to be rough and fast and over too quickly; she hadn’t expected Jane to take his time to gaze at her while undressing her slowly. It was intimate, not desperate and rampant, much more intimate than she had expected, almost too much so.

Jane, sensing her discomfort, let go of her and slipped out of his own shirt before pushing the dress of Lisbon’s shoulders and tossing her bra aside. Before Lisbon could start overthinking this again, before she could come up with a plan to take charge, he softly pushed her down until she was lying beneath him, her head comfortably resting on the pillows. Then he lifted her hips and pulled off her dress completely, trying to hide a pained expression.

She noticed though, because how could she not when all her attention was focused on him. “Careful,” she whispered, starting to sit up.

“Lie down,” was his response, his voice rough.

She obeyed, and he rewarded her with a kiss to her inner thigh that made her shiver. Then he was on top of her, leaning on his uninjured side, and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

“I need you to trust me,” he said suddenly.

“Why?” she asked out of habit. Years of living with him had conditioned her to question his every step.

Instead of giving her an answer, he touched her. She was still wearing her underwear but feeling his fingers pressing against her so unexpectedly made her hips buck. She bit her bottom lip, so she wouldn’t embarrass herself even more by moaning, but when she saw Jane’s eyes grow dark with lust at feeling the heat between her legs, she realized there was no reason to feel embarrassed. She wanted him to let go, but she needed to let go in return because he wanted her. He had waited just as long as her to see her come undone and know he was the reason for it, and she wanted to give this to him, even though it would take her a lot of effort to open up to him like this when there was so much tenderness in his gaze and touch.

It went both ways. She was affecting him too, just as he was affecting her; there was no denying it. Even though he acted calm and in control, she could see it in his eyes, in the rapid pulse beating against his neck, could feel it in the way he moved two of his fingers across the fabric of her underwear with light pressure.

She moaned.

His mouth opened slightly as he gazed at her in wonder and increased the pressure.

She moaned again, louder this time.

A quick tug on her underwear, and she was completely naked, and Jane’s hand was caressing her thigh, moving higher up, his eyes on her the whole time. She was determined not to close hers now, as she watched him, watched as his hand came closer to its destination, watched how his eyelids fluttered, how his chest rose and fell in anticipation, how he fought with himself, wrestling down his own needs to focus on her.

And when he touched her, when his fingers found heat and wetness waiting for him between her thighs, he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers, swallowing her moans. She shivered and strained and pushed her hips upwards again, and he didn’t hesitate to give her what she wanted. Two fingers were inside of her, thrusting deeply, then three, and Lisbon was glad they were alone in the house because the sounds she made were loud enough to echo through the room. Jane moved his fingers in and out of her slowly, his eyes on hers. And he had told her to stop thinking, but she couldn’t, not when she finally had what she had always wanted, not when he made her feel like this, like she was the only person who mattered to him. She thought about how it had been worth it, worth the wait and the longing and the heartbreak; it had been worth it because every single second she had spent pining for him, she had spent unsure and undecided and hurt, had led to this very moment, to her lying beneath him, panting and moaning and pressing into his touch, to him above her, taking care of her, looking after her. And she wouldn’t change a single thing about it.

But then his fingers were gone, and she complained, not with words but with sounds and looks. He only pressed a quick kiss to her nose and then moved lower on the bed until he was between her legs. He only flinched slightly trying to find a comfortable position, then kissed her thighs again, nibbling at the soft skin, before dipping his head and tasting her. Any sound her body might have wanted her to make died in her throat. Seeing him like this, between her thighs, was too much, not to mention the fact that his mouth was on her, that his tongue was caressing her until her thighs were quivering, until her breath came in short, hot gasps. And then he looked up, fixated his eyes on hers, and she stopped breathing altogether, she stopped moving too, and her entire world was narrowed down to the look in his eyes.

He had looked at her with lust and devotion and hunger during the last twenty-four hours, with desire and want and love, but never like this, never like he wanted to devour her.

When she couldn’t take it anymore, she let her head fall back as she moaned loudly and raised her hips again to be closer to the warmth of his mouth and tongue, but he used one hand to push her back down and hold her in place as he took the hint, increasing the pressure and speed. She tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him closer, held him in place, and then she could feel him moan against her. It was the final straw, the one thing she had needed to push her over the edge, and when she came, her ears ringing, her breathing ragged, he curled his hands around her thighs and held her, continuing to caress her until she folded.

He remained where he was while she was trying to catch her breath, staring up at the ceiling. She felt exhausted, yet not sated. There had been too much buildup to this for her to feel anywhere close to satisfied. But she knew this wasn’t over, and that thought calmed her and grounded her. Jane wouldn’t be going anywhere, he wouldn’t leave her, and they could do this as often as they wanted, until they were both too exhausted, too spent to overthink anything.

Lisbon reached out for him and pulled him up until he was lying next to her, their legs tangled together, and when she kissed him, she could taste herself on his lips. She immediately felt turned on again and pressed herself closer to him, feeling like they had opened a floodgate. Everything came rushing out, everything she had been holding back for years, and she could feel him trying to catch his breath too, but he welcomed her kisses and returned them eagerly. She had wanted to kiss him slowly, to caress him, but she couldn’t, not when it was suddenly him who was straddling her, not when his cheeks were flushed, and his eyes clouded over. Her hands were in his curls, holding him in place, her nails scraping against his scalp, eliciting heated breaths and subdued moans and hoarse pants.

Lisbon could feel him grow impatient by the way his kisses urged her on, and she couldn’t blame him. If anything, she welcomed it; she wanted him to let go, she wanted him to let her make him feel good for a change, and when she pushed one hand between them to unbutton his trousers, he let her, didn’t stop her like he had done this morning. His skin was hot to the touch, it felt like he was burning up, and maybe he was. But when he moved off her quickly to pull down his trousers and underwear, his movements where so decisive and calculated that even his injury seemed forgotten.

Then he was on top of her again, and she could feel his naked body on hers, his lips on hers, their combined breaths creating the most beautiful symphony she had ever heard. They kissed and kissed until even breathing seemed unimportant. Then she felt him shift and suddenly he was inside of her, filling her, stretching her, and she groaned and bit down on his collarbone, waiting for him to catch his breath and start moving. But he wanted to make even this about her, tried to stay in control, and when he finally moved, it was slow and deliberate. Their foreheads pressed together as she held him in place, a hand on each side of his face, but she knew he was holding back, most likely for her benefit, because she could feel how much he needed to find release in the way his whole body seemed to tremble.

She wished they had talked about it after all. It wasn’t enough he was insisting she shouldn’t overthink everything and let go, she could see he needed to do the same. He needed to stop thinking about her for a change and start thinking about himself. She wanted him to take what he needed, to use her until he finally found release. But she didn’t know how to tell him all of this without him losing focus, so she kissed his neck, working her way up to his ear, and then whispered, her voice low, “Let go, Patrick.”

He did.

And she did too, and it only took her three more thrusts to come again, and he followed shortly afterwards, his teeth buried in her neck, sending a jolt of pleasure through her, and then she heard him loud and clear, even if a bit breathless.

“Fuck, Teresa.”

Her name had a very different connotation now.

_______

The rain had stopped, and the evening sun had come out, so the light in the bedroom had a slightly pink hue to it. His ribcage still hurt, and his nose was tingling uncomfortably, but Jane didn’t care. All he cared about was the woman curled up next to him, her head on his shoulder, her fingers drawing random patterns against the skin of his stomach, her breath tickling his neck. There was so much he wanted to tell her, but he didn’t want to disturb her, not when they were finally at peace, not worrying about what the other wanted and if they were crossing a line, because they were finally on the same page. He could finally hold her after making love to her (or should he say she had made love to him?), and he usually wasn’t one to use corny phrases like this, but he couldn’t think of another way to describe what they had done.

He had told her before that he loved her, three times in words, countless other times in gestures and small touches and stolen glances. But having her beside him like this made him want to say it over and over again until she stopped him, one way or another. He needed to say it every day for the rest of their lives and he needed her to hear it every day for the rest of their lives. But he held back, determined to let her take the first step, set the pace, talk about whatever came to mind. Lisbon, however, didn’t feel like doing anything. She was content lying cuddled up to him, naked, enjoying the warmth of his body, matching his steady breathing, watching the clouds outside on the sky drift by.

“You’re hot,” she finally said and rolled onto her side.

“Thanks,” he replied. “You too.”

She blushed, which was endearing, her being bashful now, after what they had just done. “I meant your body temperature,” she clarified.

“I was talking about something else,” he insisted.

“Jane, there’s something I need to say.” She sounded suddenly serious, and for a wild moment he panicked, because he thought she was about to say she regretted everything and wanted to be with Pike instead of him, but then she took his hand into hers and rested it on her stomach, their fingers intertwined. “But you have to promise me you won’t make fun of me.”

A sudden sadness came over him. “You need to get this idea out of your head,” he said, squeezing her hand. “I have never and will never make fun of you for the way you feel.”

He could see her thinking, knew she was trying to recall an occasion where he had done that so she could hold it against him, but there was nothing for her to remember because he had never done it.


End file.
